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FULMER CUP ENTRANTS: DUKE (?!?!?)

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Of all the people we'd expect to break out in a rash of FnDC: three (THREE!) Duke players were arrested along with North Carolina linebacker Larry Edwards for a disturbance in a Chapel Hill nightclub. Edwards was charged with "damage to real property," which is cool because we've mostly invested in virtual property over the years and it is paying off like gangbusters, brother: our Everquest arsenal put us through grad school and paid for these sweet Guatemalan calf implants. (Puh-POW! Eat your heart out, ladies, these sweet, online-game playin' calves are taken!!!) Good to know that fifty dollar Swiftwhisper sword we've got up on StationExchange is safe with him.

The three Duke players were charged with "failure to disperse on command," which as reader and adept wag Italiangator noted, is unusual since they seem to have no problem doing this on the field.

It's not a futile attempt to channel sexual frustration--it's an investment!!!