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SOOPER GENIOUS EPILOGUE: BARNETT WAVES WHITE FLAG FOR $3 MIL

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Even in defeat, Gary Barnett remains the luckiest weasel on this mortal coil. The story of his slow walk from the bunker he'd made for himself in Boulder includes this priceless detail (kudos for the phrasing from the anonymous writer:)

On Thursday, he reluctantly accepted a $3 million settlement, bringing to an end a tenure that was riddled by off-the-field problems but ultimately done in by recent bad results on the field.

He reluctantly accepted a 3 million dollar settlement. We'll let that sink in for a few months and leave Gary to weeping into his pile of money at the end of this sordid but supremely entertaining saga. Welcome to Hal Mumme-land, Gary.

"Drink so much I cry liquor, wipe my tears with C-Notes, smoke so much weed, I fart weed smoke"