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JUDAS BRUTUS

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Johnny Majors, creaking to the podium at the Little Rock Touchdown Club with an IV of Glenmore Gin, knows that when a man is down the kicking is as good as it's ever gonna get. The recipient in this case is Phil Fulmer, who in addition to being very, very fat also succeeded Johnny Majors in 1992 after Majors' less-than-amicable firing. Majors said:

"I don't pull against those players up there," Majors said. "But I don't have any regard for Judas Brutus, who's coaching up there."

Majors then chuckled, wobbled, and fell over after the weight of his massive, pendulous old man ears knocked him off-balance and sent him and the gin IV crashing to the floor. No injuries were reported.