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HOLY SHIT! KENNY ROGERS!

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Lucky sons of bitches: the halftime entertainment at the UGA/Tennessee game? Kenny fuckin' Rogers, the star of Six Pack, notorious beard waxer, and creator of the wildly successful Gambler series of tv movies, including Gambler 9: The Napping. Did he do "Love Will Turn You Around?" How about "Lady," sung in the direction of Phil Fulmer? Did he welcome everyone to Harrah's Cherokee Casinos in a scotchy haze before launching into "Lucille"? Paul reports that he did sing two songs with the mike turned off, which we'd have given our left foot to have seen.

Hello, Caesar's Indiana! I mean, Knoxville!

We're obviously not living right, since the halftime entertainment at the MSU/Florida game was what our halftime entertainment always is: a three-song set from house band Night Ranger. (Actually, they're not the house band, they just won't leave, and have taken up permanent residence beneath the North Endzone.) Our only hope of displacing them is their eventual eviction at the hands of Gainesville natives Sister Hazel, the band you call for when Hootie and the Blowfish is just too black for you.