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PREVIEW HAIKU: WEEK FOUR COSTANZA PICKS

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The outstanding negative correlation in our picks--what we've dubbed the Costanza factor--was interrupted last week by two shockingly correct picks, taking us to a merely terrible 2-9 on the season for picks. We still believe in our ability to predict the exact opposite of what will happen, of course, so we present this week's Costanza picks in our favorite poetic form, haiku, in hopes of riding the haunting 5-7-5 rhythm to victory this weekend.

Georgia Tech at Virginia Tech, 3:30 p.m. ABC.

Many picks to come
Ball can't blame meningitis
Hokies, Jenkins win.

Pick: Hokies, 27-17

Michigan State vs. Illinois. 12:00 GamePlan.

Winds of fortune blow
Spartan souls ripe for letdown
Zook still fucks it up

Michigan State, 38-30


He and the Illini are getting better and better.

Georgia at Mississippi State 9:00 p.m. ESPN2

Croom beat Florida!
A ray of hope for Croom's team!
Unwatchable crap.

Georgia, 45-7

Colorado at Miami, 12:00 ABC.

Coker pleads for fans
Empty seats in the Orange Bowl
OJ, want tickets?

Miami, 26-13

Purdue at Minnesota, 12:00

Joe Tiller--nice 'stache
Mason's upper lip sits bare
Advantage: Purdue

Purdue 30, Minnesota 16


Tiller and aforementioned 'stache are set to begin Minnesota's annual losing streak.

Louisville at South Florida, 6:30 GamePlan

Brohm done by the half
Sneaks out to the Tanga Lounge
Lap dances for all!

Louisville, Zillion-13

Arkansas at Alabama, 12:30 CBS

Tide is Rolling like
Mike Price banging a stripper
Coach Brick beats Boss Hogg

Alabama, 42-3

Nice hat.

Iowa at Ohio State, 12:00 ABC

Neither team scores much
Bring a pillow and some scotch
Punt punt punt punt punt

Ohio State, 17-10