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FSU-MIAMI, 10-7: MUSBERGERED!

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If you believe the presentation, the Miami-FSU game we just finished watching was a clash of titans. "Your grandfather's football," or "Football, Florida style," according to Brent Musberger, who in a desperate attempt to pump the game played it like a sluggo Devaney/Switzer matchup from the 1970s.

Brent committed two sins here. First, he didn't point out how atrocious both teams looked on offense. Bad. Real, real bad. Atrocity even exceeding the Jeff Bowden level of ineptitude we've come to expect from America's luckiest D-1 offensive coordinator. FSU and Miami both broke in first time starters here, but the fourth year of the Jeffy era made Miami's D look like geniuses. FSU's defense looked crazed, but nine sacks? Nine? A few of them coming on three man rushes?
If FSU's bugbear is the pitiful scheme, the 'Canes defiency was the play of their interior offensive line, which left Kyle Wright a miserable pile of bruises at the end of the game.

The second was Musberger's decision to wear a short-sleeved shirt with a tie. Can you say Office Depot assistant manager? We knew you could.

And why does either team in this matchup attempt a field goal in the second half--EVER? It'll only end in tears. Both teams have defense, but through the fog of Musbergerian hyperbole surrounding ABC's solid coverage of a tense, manic night in Tallahassee, we saw two very troubled teams who can't bail out their top-flight defenses with a solid turd's worth of offense. Take Greg Olsen out of the Miami lineup and the Wonder Twin backs from the Noles lineup, and you've got offenses that are little more than dysfunctional ballets that will eventually dance both teams out of competitive seasons.

Bobby Bowden finally beats Miami, but his son's offense might go breaking his heart for yet another season.