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GAMEDAY WITH NICK LACHEY

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Disney cast members May and Davis did all right by us--no more annoying than usual, though no better, either. The addition of crook Lou Holtz and his charming speech defect (sounding suspiciously like Stan's sister on South Park) isn't a bad thing either, especially since he just has to provide slightly daffy senile commentary on the situation.

Trev, though, spent the first day of the college football season flexing and gesturing like an Aryan Nation version of Rowdy Roddy Piper. He's deteriorated from last year, with the whole angry man v. angry man thing with May going wayyy, wayyy out of bounds. (Look! People fight! Hrngggh! Fan smash! Spring-er! Spring-er!) We don't even have the promise of a folding chair entering the equation at some point. We just get heckled on our own couch with our tacit permission.

And Nick Lachey interviewed Devin Hester, an interview notable for wasting three minutes of my life without introducing a single iota of new information into my brain other than the wishful, imagined image of Hester and teammates knocking Lachey out with a sock full of nickels and selling him for parts in Port-au-Prince.