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CFN DEFENSIVE RANKINGS: 'CANES NO. 1

Remember defense? Yeah, the guys not having a "revolution" right now? They still play a third of the game, and CFN just can't stop the glazomania with their ranking of all 119 teams' defensive units. (We don't know how scientific that is, though; qualitatively, is anyone going to be splitting hairs over whether Eastern Michigan's D (#118) is any worse than Florida International's (#119)? We imagine Fiutak and Zemek slapping each other in the face with white gloves and vowing to meet with pistols at dawn over things like this.)

Matt, your choice of UL Monroe over North Texas at #110 offends my soul. Draw!

Miami gets the top nod, stocked as they are with a bottomless supply of ball-hawking safeties, at least one whirling dervish of a linebacker a year, and identical bludgeoning defensive tackles to rotate on the line. We just miss when the NCAA would let them dance after touchdowns during games and party with Luther Campbell after games. Ahh, how we miss the good ole days at Miami, when players would fire guns out of their dorm windows to celebrate victories...