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LAWRENCE PHILLIPS, EASY LOVER

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Lawrence Phillips, easy lover and former Death Star '95 Nebraska running back, continues his Casanova on PCP routine, this time attacking his current girlfriend twice, once choking her until she was unconscious. (Who are these women? Johnette Knoxvilles bent on their own destruction? Hi, I'm Johnette Knoxville, and this is called "Dating Lawrence Phillips."{slap!}) Somewhere, Dick Vermeil is weeping into his Cabernet...

He's not the one who got choked.