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IS ESPN ACTUALLY SMOKING CRACK?

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Ripped from a bad idea jeans commercial, the powers that be at ESPN greenlighted the production and airing of a new show called ESPN Hollywood, which premiered this Monday on the Deuce. The concept is that the show will be sort of an Access Hollywood, but for sports. Brilliant. If only they could find the right host you say. Never fear, A.C. Slater is here. That's right. ESPN has tapped non other than Mario Lopez to co-host this horrific concept that embodies everything that is going wrong with ESPN. Thankfully, it looks like the world might not be coming to an end as we know it, as the first installment flopped majorly pulling in .08% of all cable watching homes. In the words of USA Today:

That translates to 75,000 households, which happens to be the standard industry projection for the number of homes where viewing levels are determined by pets accidentally hitting TV remotes.

Once this show inevitable goes off the air, I suggest it be replaced with ESPN Big Brother, in which we watch 10 strangers locked in a home with only access to the ESPN family of networks. That should be great with the male 18-35 demographic, don't you think. Perhaps they could get Kelly Kapowski to host that one.

With Slater as host, how can it fail.