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MANDEL WORKING HIMSELF INTO A BLUE FRENZY. WE THINK ABOUT DEATH RAYS.

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The pace around the CFB media world has picked up dramatically over the past week or so--you can feel a tangible, caffeineated sense of rushing headlong toward September 3rd and the bevy of coronary-inducing games it offers. (If you don't watch one, at least watch the Boise State-Georgia game, if only so you'll know which way the bombs will be flying the following week in the blogosphere. If you don't know what we're talking about...well, too bad. We say UGA by three and we're sticking by it.)

Mandel, who's got to be sweating Starbucks' this time of year, offers two great thought-provoking pieces on Iowa's inability to sneak up on anyone this year and the potential tiger pit Les Miles might be walking into at LSU. We would compare Miles to our favorite satellite death-ray fantasy victim, Ron Zook, but unlike Zook, Miles actually has coached a season as a head man for a large 1-A scale program. He should be fine, especially since he'll be able to face off against predominantly weak opponents, including the latest hyperactive problem child first-year coach, Ed "Cobra Kai" Orgeron.

By the way, this has got to be a separate, compulsive list making thing for us: your satellite death-ray fantasy hit list. You know, an evil, earth-orbit death ray you could pick people off with at random, a la Real Genius or Akira. Our short list runs something like this:

1. Ron Zook
2. Charles Taylor/Robert Mugabe (asshole African dictator tie)
3. Chris Berman ("BACK BACK BACK zzzzZZZZ AAAGGHH...sizzling noises, smell of torched bronzer...we know you're smiling, too.)
4. Rachel Ray (anyone who tips that atrociously has it coming.)
5. Dianne Myers (8th grade math teacher. We don't hold grudges...)

Even with the philtrum-stache, Mugabe wouldn't escape our death-ray