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FELDMAN: ACC THE TUFFEST OF THE TUFF

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HP continues to invite the wrath of ESPN's legal staff by making us all Insiders, posting large chunks of Feldman's payblog for our enjoyment. No problem with Feldman's having the ACC as the toughest group top-to-bottom--most games are dogfights now, even those involving much-improved doormat Duke. (Ted Roof is high on our list of "Shopliftable Coaches" for 2006.) What the hell is Texas A&M doing there, though? Especially after the ungloved rectal they got from Tennessee in the Cotton Bowl?

HP has his own suggestions, only one of which we take issue with: though ASU beat Iowa last year, one big win does not a heavyweight champeen make. Too streaky, and got smoked by the two heavyweights in the Pac-10. Light heavyweight seems just fine until they class up and beat Cal or USC, as does your suggestion that Cal join the heavyweight category. If Boise beats Georgia, though, give the WAC its first heavyweight with cream cheese frosting on it. (Damn that MSM! We're already using their terminology! Straight Bangin', give us our hip-hop equivalents, and make them simple enough for average white guys to get!)

In college football/hip-hop correlative terminology, is Vandy 3rd Bass?