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A WOLVERINE NAMED SPARTY? SACRILEGE!

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Some smartass at the Detroit zoo attempted to name a pair of baby Wolverines "Bucky" and "Sparty," prompting an outcry from Michigan fans resulting in a name change for the new kits. Rather than bearing the names of Big Ten rivals, the new wolverines will now be known by the less offensive monikers of "Fuckface" and "InfantKillah69@aol.com."

Baby Wolverines may be called kits, but never called Sparty. "Fuckface" is just fine, though.