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DON'T READ THIS IF YOU WANT TO GET ANYTHING DONE TODAY

And we thought we did a nice column on games to watch-Dennis Dodd goes large with a month-by-month, exhaustive, and absolutely essential breakdown of games that will make life worth living this fall.
Like everyone else, he's picked the obvious-Boise State v. Georgia, Ohio State v. Texas for early kicks, Georgia v. Tennessee and USC v. ND late-but highlights other games with real intrigue potential this fall: SMU v. Alabama, Bowling Green v. Boise State (The IV bowl, since that much running would make anyone dehydrated), and in what he calls his "morbid curiosity game," Navy and the ole' triple option at ND. We were reminded of a few things bearing mention, as well.

Omar Jacobs: half of the reason BG v. BSU will be the biggest shootout of the year.
-Huevos Awards for scheduling go to USC and Boise State. USC not only rolls through the Pac-10 and their annual showdown with the Irish-they added a date with Fresno State and their trucker-looking coach Pat Hill a week after the Cal game, let the mysteriously lucky Houston Nutt and the Razorbacks come into the Coliseum, and go to Hawaii for their first game. It's the Nathan's Hot Dogs schedule: no filler, all meat. Pete Carroll really does believe in stacking the deck, BCS-wise, and if the Trojans march through this schedule, their national championship will be uncontestable. Period, case closed, ovah.

USC's schedule: all meat, no filler.
Boise, who Dodd likens favorably to early FSU teams, put track meet masters Bowling Green on the schedule in addition to going down south to Athens to face UGA in Sanford stadium in front of a whole lot of screaming, whiskey-fueled fans who don't like anyone very much.
(Quick story break: while attending the 1995 UF-UGA game, we made the mistake of taunting a UGA fan about thirty rows away giving the entire University of Florida Pride of the Sunshine the finger. Eric Kresser then took the field in relief of Danny Wuerffel, and threw a perfect flea flicker TD with a minute or so left on the clock, ensuring that Florida would become the first team to score fifty on UGA in Athens in forever. The bird-shooting fan then reaches under his seat, pulls out one of the bolts securing the seat to the bench with his bare hands, and then throws it at our head. He then continues to shoot us the bird. Fortunately, the bolt landed in our flowing locks, which are leaving us a little day by day. But point made for the few, intrepid Boise State fans planning on making the trip: they get scary in Athens if you get up on them by a few.)
An honorable mention goes to Pat Hill, who should get this award every year anyway for his insane scheduling, deserving mention for putting both Huevos Award winners on the Bulldogs' docket. Fresno will play both the Broncos and the Trojans this year-don't be shocked if they beat one of them.

Pat Hill: never got the 1983 memo on handlebar mustaches being out, out , out for men.
-Miami at FSU's stock as a cardiac arrest inducing early season stop has fallen precipitously. (We mean the cardiac bit literally-our wife's grandfather had a heart attack during the 1987 game.) The expansion of the ACC has something to do with it, but more likely the drop in significance comes from Miami's ongoing offensive remake and the slight downward turn FSU's taken as a program. Pappy Bowden, in defense of his son and OC Jeff Bowden, said that nine victories wasn't a bad year, and he's right-unless you're FSU, and you've just put your son in way over his head calling the plays for a team in an ever-toughening new conference schedule. Oh, and Florida's got Urban Meyer now. Buenas suerte!

When they start the websites demanding your head, it means trouble.
-Notre Dame's season could be off to a catastrophically difficult start. We didn't realize this, but four of its first five games are on the road, including Meeechigan and Purdue. Weis better invest in the industrial barrels of Maalox at Costco, because Irish alumni will be brandishing the shillelaghs often and early. He'll shut them up in the second half of the season, however, with the remainder coming almost completely at home, including the "morbid curiosity game" with Navy. We almost wonder if, at this point, Irish fans won't attempt to pull Weis off the sidelines with a crooked cane, or send the Sandman out with a broom like they do at the Apollo.

If he weren't dead, Irish fans could have sent Howard "Sandman" Sims after ND coaches who fail to perform. Click here for a bio of the original sandman.