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BUCKEYES' BACK BUSTED FOR BLATANT BUDDHA BLOWING

Ohio State running back Eric Haw was so jazzed about Ohio State being exonerated in the Maurice Clarett probe, he sautered outside last night to smoke a celebratory joint outside of his on-campus dorm room at OSU- a school with only a scanty total of 50,000 students in enrollment. The campus police cited him for marijana possession, the second marijuana-related incident in as many weeks for Ohio State.

Though Jim Tressel, pictured above, is obviously troubled by marijuana use on his team...
Tressel now has two admitted marijuana smokers on his team, which means Columbus residents are to be on the lookout for other sure signs of reefer madness: loud playing of jazz "music", baggy suits worn with short ties, wanton sharing of milkshakes and malts between the sexes, and increasing wearing of dangerously tight cardigans by young ladies.

...symptoms of reefer madness spread like a sinister disease in Columbus.