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DR. PEPPER SPONSORS ACC CHAMPIONSHIP; MR. PIBB LIVING UNDER OVERPASS, UNAVAILABLE FOR COMMENT

Dr. Pepper agrees to sponsor the ACC championship. (Full disclosure: we had no idea there was going to be an ACC champ. game, much less one on December 3rd. Pleased to hear it, but totally shamefaced that we could be that ignorant. Note: not surprised, but just ashamed.) Dr. Pepper, speaking from the comfort of a plush leather chair and smoking a Cohiba, commented that he hoped to bring the "taste of originality" to the game. Mr. Pibb, Pepper's struggling rival and mortal enemy, is believed to be living under an overpass in Chattanooga and was unavailable for comment.

Times are hard for Mr. Pibb.