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Doc Pedro brings us the news from the Big East, which is proudly keeping up that University of Miami attitude despite losing UM to the ACC. Smartass comments by editor to follow in slanty letters.
Breaking news out of an upcoming school in the Big East conference.

University of South Florida recruit Carlton Hill out of Monticello Jefferson County High was suspended indefinitely from school Wednesday for being caught ?with his pants down? having sex in a classroom during regular school hours. Hill who is considered the ?crown jewel'' of South Florida's recruiting class, was found having consensual sex with a 16 year old; Hill is 19 years old. Though consensual this still considered statutory rape, though no charges have been filed. Hill will be suspended until a full investigation has taken place. This could lead to him not being eligible to fulfill all graduation requirements and enrolling in school in the Fall.

This is reminiscent of Marcus Vick, caught ?partying? with a 14 year old and 15 year old. Vick at the time was already attending Virginia Tech. Which begs the question: couldn?t he find a college girl? In Hill?s case he is still in High School and the ramifications of the incident are still unknown. My question is what kind of girl has sex in a classroom? (We don't name names. But if Angela Bassett is willing, we'd be there.-ed.)

The other question is if you were in school and both of legal age would you take that opportunity for a little risky thrill? Yes yes yes. Especially if Angela was wearing the limo driver's outfit from Strange Days.-ed.

Jefferson County assistant principal Harry Jacobs, who was not reached for comment, told The Tampa Tribune last month that Hill was a model student.

``I'll tell you one thing,'' Jacobs said. ``Everything he does, he does 100 percent. He's a perfectionist. He's a hard-working student.''

I am sure the female involved in the incident was happy about this.

Good work, Doc Pedro. In our conversation with Principal Jacobs, he further elaborated: "I'm sure Carlton performed any and all demanded services with athleticism and dedication. I'll bet he did it like this. Then he probably did it like that. He may even have done it with a wiffle ball bat, if she requested, as long as they cleaned and returned the equipment to the PE office by three."-ed.