BOB STOOPS STILL ON THAT PASTA GAME

Ronald Martinez

THE NCAA DECLARES WAR ON EXCESSIVE CARBS, BUT B-STOOPS IS STILL IN THEM STREETS

Hey, buddy. Psst. Over here.

Yeah. I see you.

I know what you're looking for.

Screen_shot_2014-02-19_at_1

Yeah, it's B-Stoop, aka Yung Semolina, aka Big Game Bucatini. You know. I got that rigatoni. That fusilli, that ziti. Maybe you got a girl over, need some feminine pasta style? Got that vermicelli if you're buyin'. I got boxes of that. Can get it to you quick.

Maybe you're into that serious work. That manicotti for heavy pasta lifting. Maybe you need some ziti, or oh? You got a formal event, need that black tie pasta? BOOM. Farfalle. That bowtie, that ballroom pasta. We can have you cookin' like you at the Whiffenpoof Dinner. Kissinger pasta. MacArthur Genius Grant pasta.

Or maybe you just want it. That's cool. I don't judge. I just pinch that penne till it squeals, so you call me when you want a deal. Macaroni dreams, cannelloni creams, the real thrilla. On your girl like a gorilla, beat Ronzoni and I'm comin' for Barilla. You get B-Stoops on that pasta, because there ain't shit to do in Oklahoma but cook.

And when we do it, we do it Sooner, rather than later. Ya heard. Hit that pager. You got dough, I got dough. When we mix 'em we'll have ourselves a carb-ecue the NCAA can't dream of stopping. Holler.

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