STEP AWAY FROM THE INTERNET, ARKANSAS FANS

We used to tell people Arkansas fans were secretly the most insane in the SEC. That will not be necessary after today, because you have this now, and this repetition will be superfluous in the face of powerful physical evidence of their insanity.

You would think that John L. Smith did this to them. You would be wrong. There were things in the woods in the Ozarks. You can see them standing in the amber current of bourbon. On their heads were rubber hats with vermiculate porcine geometries that were maps of the world in its becoming, and also of the exact crash pattern of Bobby Petrino's motorcycle. Maps and mazes. Of a thing that could not be put back, but only replaced by a half-mad former Michigan State coach. In the deep glens where they lived that were older than man they hummed of mystery and FOIA requests and of Ryan Mallett jerseys.

P.S. If Arkansas beats Alabama by a score of 100-3, THIS WOMAN IS A GENIUS AND WE APOLOGIZE. (Via)

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