The 2012 EDSBS Charity Drive is officially underway, and began at 9:00 a.m. this morning. Well, Orspencer, why didn't you post something at nine, then? Because we're tragically late, and had to share photoshops of Larry Coker posing with mounds of cocaine with you. It was just that important.
The cause: Refugee Resettlement and Immigration Services of Atlanta. Familiarize yourself with their work here. They are a small agency doing the big work of making new Americans out of the world's refugees, and that is large business indeed. Unfortunately, that large business is done as much non-profit work is done: with shrinking budgets, no slack in demand, and the constant need for donations.
Like what, you say? Oh, like helping refugees start businesses and become grumbling, tax-paying Americans just like the rest of us.
This is where you come in, of course. You can donate online, and could just write any old donation in, but we don't like do things normally. Instead, in the DESIGNATION line, please write the rivalry score of your choice in, and then denote your school and EDSBS donation. So, if you're an Alabama fan, you just write something like 21-0/Alabama/EDSBS in the box, and then contribute.
You have to round up this year thanks to the new donations system that does not allow anything but whole dollars, but please taunt away in the notes. We will track these of course, and in the end award our bounty of trophies to the winning school with the highest donation total.
That bounty includes:
- A reskin of EDSBS. Last year's featured a spectacular Bo Schembechler reskin, so if you want the gristly sight of Pat Dye's face adorning the upper left hand corner up there, well, get on that charity pony, Auburn. WE KNOW HOW GOOD YOU ARE AT MOVING CASH.
- An entire episode of Shutdown Fullback devoted to your school. In a good way, mind you.
- A custom essay focused on doing nothing but denigrating the things the winning school finds deplorable.
If total donations exceed $30K, we'll do...SOMETHING amazing. Like eating a wheel of cheese with the winning school's logo on it. This is actually quite a sacrifice on our part, since we both hate cheese and would likely vomit it up on camera. And if you think eating something you hate is bad, try having it pass twice through the gates of gluttony, and then talk to us about food hell.
We close the gates at five p.m. on Friday, and then announce the winner the following Monday. DONATE. GO. NOW. RUN. Last year's tally of $26K was brilliant, but it's going to take more to make the rottenest, Michigan-branded Limburger touch our lips.