¿QUIEN ES MAS ALTERNATIVO?

Occasionally it becomes important to settle some of the more pressing matters in life. For example, is it 'coke', soda, or pop? Which Don Draper paramore/side squeeze reigns supreme? And of course, what is the legal blood Doritos Locos Tacos limit in the state of Utah?

Today, EDSBS Labs looks at a critical, divisive issue tearing apart dinner tables across the country and seeks to answer once and for all: who is more 'alt', Washington State's Mike Leach or Alabama's Nick Saban?

Leach-v-saban_medium

Mike Leach

Pros:

-Keeps an animatronic skeleton in his office.

-Only really loves music on vinyl and cassette from the 70's and 80's.

-Uses a law degree for something else that doesn't involve schilling Duckhead branded paraphernalia.

-Is from a small town you haven't heard of yet (so 'alt').

-Ran a collective that used obscure structures and interchangeable front men to achieve great results with low budget.

-Pissed off the man just by 'doing him'.

-Rollerblades (so awkward) (so retro).

-Reverse reverse reverse reverse reverse ironically lived in Key West; car free lifestyle, bromigo.

-Has been a hoodie advocate long before it became a popular social statement to make:

Leach_2_medium

-Wants a 64 team post-season tournament so all those buzz worthy underground teams can get some exposure.

-Totally knows that guy who did the critically acclaimed TV series, "Friday Night Lights".

-Is revered as a genius, but has never 'sold out" with championship waves.

-Collab'd with fellow 'alt' coaches Mark Mangino, Hall Mumme, and Dana Holgorsen.

Cons:

-Went to BYU (so unchill, BB).

-Totally was *in* the critically acclaimed TV series, "Friday Night Lights".

-His offense is now 'popular' and has crossed over into the mainstream.

-Left his Iowa Wesleyan roots in the dust for the bright lights of big cities like Lubbock and Pullman.

-Is not as counter mainstream as uber-alt waver, Hal Mumme.

1995saban_jpg_medium

Nick Saban

Pros:

-Wears only the most 'rlvnt' frames.

-Was on the Bill Belichick-led Browns coaching staff (aka the Uncle Tupelo of coaching staffs).

-Offered and signed indie icon A.J. McCaron.

-Secretive. Doesn't do many interviews.

-Says and does whatever he wants with no regard for how people perceive him.

-Critics are terrified of him (extremely alt).

-Like most hipsters, failed to enjoy himself in Miami.

-Is all about "process", which we're pretty sure is something vegans say a lot.

-Left a job with next to no notice after what most in the profession would consider an inappropriate amount of time.

-Committed to an entirely 'post-fun' lifestyle.

-Has a lake house just like Washed Out.

-Clearly into "wankcore basketball music" your dad probably "boned your mom" to in a James Worthy jersey.

-Drives a fixie because he doesn't have time for gears.

-Eats 2 Little Debbie cakes and a cup of coffee and calls it a meal.

-That mane. That glorious mane:

Nick-saban-kent-state-cropped_medium

-Is Croatian by blood.

-Shit all over the honey badger meme after it reached its saturation point.

Cons:

-Loves "processed" things.

-Is fine and all, but Bear Bryant already did what he did like 40 years ago.

-JOHN TESH.

-Talks about keeping his current job for a long period of time.

-Has never heard of Washed Out.

-Lives in a part of the country barren and devoid of alternative fusion food trucks.

-The coffee he drinks with his snack cakes isn't fair trade.

-Once rode the extremely unchill dorkwaves:

Young_saban081_medium

-Is Croatian by blood.

-Made people in Austin cry.

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