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THE MANY CONTROVERSIES OF CRAIG JAMES

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Despite a long, successful, and totally blemish-free career in football and broadcasting, Craig James has found politics to be a bit more challenging. Yes, even the man we all thought untouchable by controversy now finds himself under attack for some of his more controversial viewpoints. In the interest of helping the soon-to-be Senator get out in front of the story, Luke and I have decided to unveil all of the candidate's most hot-button stances so that we, the voters, can appreciate him for the man of principle he really is.

Flag_2520routes_jpg_medium

Craig James swims in basketball shorts with no underwear on.

Craig James thinks putting ketchup on your eggs is gross. He prefers a watery paste made of mustard, tapioca pudding, and Cran-Grape.

According to Craig James, we should stop giving special benefits to Native Americans because those guys were here for years and couldn't even bother to invent television.

Star-divide

Craig James supports the euthanizing of horses who have sustained serious injuries. Or minor injuries. Or seem injury-prone. Basically Craig James will kill any horse if you ask him.

Craig James believes in the right to full frontal tire ironing. Don't ask; it's a procedure designed to respect the sanctity of life.

Craig James keeps his shoes on no matter what the practice is in your house. This isn't Korea, dammit, and it never will be on his watch.

Craig James promises to deport every purple monkey dishwasher he can find. They're neither people, nor legal immigrants, nor an acceptable pantone.

Craig James supports open mouth kissing in public, but only if it's your mother and only if it's her birthday.

Craig James supports banning the importation and sale of kimchi. We shouldn't support caramelizing the entrails of a dead, oppressive dictator, much less eating them.

Things schools will not teach our children under Craig James: sex education, evolution, driver's ed, what an asymptote is, limericks, how to cook anything other than a Hungry Man dinner.

Craig James thinks the NBA's PSA's to discourage the sort of hate speech euphemizing stupid with 'gay' are frankly, pretty gay.

Craig James believes what you do in your home is your business. He also believes home is where the heart is so if you want to start digging up the parking lot of that new grocery store he's going to need to see a warrant.

Craig James supports DDT. "You down with DDT, yeah, you know me."

Craig James just hopes man someday will wield fire.

Abuse of bath salts is something Craig James takes very seriously, which is why his daily routine only involves application of deodorant and a brief splash of water to the face and taint.

Craig James beat the fear of germs into Howie Mandel after having his entire world view crash down all around him after learning he was the voice of Bobby in Bobby's World.

Women didn't drive cars in the Bible, and they won't do it in America if you elect Craig James.

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Craig James laughs when he reads

The Von Erichs: A Family Album : Tragedies and Triumphs of America’s First Family of Wrestling

Electric dog-polisher, that was a good one. Gasoline-powered turtleneck sweater. Then, of course, I bought some dumb stuff too....

by Burrito Electrico on Feb 24, 2012 1:31 PM EST up reply actions  

An all-"Craig JAmes believes" post?

I move to suspend spiders for the duration of the comments.

Play hard or play elsewhere.

by lhb98 on Feb 24, 2012 1:11 PM EST reply actions  

SO SAYETH THE DINOSAUR LORD

I'm not going to a country that confuses itself with poultry. Never.

by Bourbon_Meyer on Feb 24, 2012 1:51 PM EST up reply actions   2 recs

And thusly, Dinosaur Lord beget Raptor Jesus

The Wrestling Blog - because screw you, that's why

Cageside Seats - Proof that I too write for an SB Nation property

by Thomas Holzerman on Feb 24, 2012 2:00 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Where have I seen this before?

Corner Tavern? Sister Louisa’s Church of the Poor and Ping-Pong Emporium?

I Wish Every Day Was A Saturday.

by bagelfuzzynuts on Feb 24, 2012 3:06 PM EST up reply actions  

C'mon we can unite around Craig James

with or without eight-legged freaks.

Writer/Analyst/Head Chef
And the Valley Shook

by Billy Gomila on Feb 24, 2012 1:16 PM EST up reply actions  

respectfully submitted, the Tony Montana Spider

http://tmblr.co/ZquJNxGuctnn

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

by DressHerInWhiteAndGold on Feb 24, 2012 1:34 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Craig James believes in BYOB at weddings.

He’s afraid you’ll hog all the Zima.

Writer/Analyst/Head Chef
And the Valley Shook

by Billy Gomila on Feb 24, 2012 1:14 PM EST reply actions  

Craig James wants to ban pit bulls "for the children"

The Wrestling Blog - because screw you, that's why

Cageside Seats - Proof that I too write for an SB Nation property

by Thomas Holzerman on Feb 24, 2012 1:17 PM EST reply actions  

I agree.

"Every player we have, someone-maybe a parent, a grandparent, someone-poured their soul into that young man. They are handing that young man off to us. They are giving us their treasure, and it's our job to make sure we give them back that young man intact and ready to face the world."

-J.V.Pa.

by psume06 on Feb 25, 2012 11:09 PM EST up reply actions  

ladies and gentlemen

of the supposed jury that is trying my client for the supposed murder of five supposed hookers, I have one final thing I want you to consider. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it; that does not make sense!

Why would a Wookiee, an 8-foot-tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of 2-foot-tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense! Look at me. I’m a lawyer defending a major record company, and I’m talkin’ about Chewbacca! Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you’re in that jury room deliberatin’ and conjugatin’ the Emancipation Proclamation, does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests.

by cfn_ms on Feb 24, 2012 1:18 PM EST reply actions   4 recs

Serious question

Are people saying that? I mean, seriously?

Bo Schembechler is the greatest living American

by Goblue98 on Feb 24, 2012 3:39 PM EST up reply actions  

We call these people "morons".

/heard my 6 year old say “this makes me look fat” for the first time today.
//died inside

Play hard or play elsewhere.

by lhb98 on Feb 24, 2012 3:40 PM EST up reply actions  

lhb98: That just so pisses me off. Sometimes our world is disgusting

(Yes, yes, not news. But still)

Bo Schembechler is the greatest living American

by Goblue98 on Feb 24, 2012 4:24 PM EST up reply actions  

ironic, a bra company dislikes curves

although seriously, who goes for anorexic chicks? skinny is fine, seeing ribs is nasty.

EDSBS's finest fifteen year old
Chicagoland's 3,607,832nd finest resident

by dudebrabroman on Feb 24, 2012 3:42 PM EST up reply actions  

You're kidding.

Curves are….fucking necessary for their merchandise.

Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy

Sometimes I tweet

by allicolls on Feb 24, 2012 3:43 PM EST up reply actions  

me no gusta

EDSBS's finest fifteen year old
Chicagoland's 3,607,832nd finest resident

by dudebrabroman on Feb 24, 2012 3:46 PM EST up reply actions  

Hey, I am at work!!!!!

and I thank you for this.

2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."

by MtnEer_in_SC on Feb 24, 2012 3:44 PM EST up reply actions  

Ditto

Moved locations yesterday and I’m not as isolated as before. Grudgingly clicked.

by Dr. Norris Camacho on Feb 24, 2012 3:45 PM EST up reply actions  

My jaw...

…must be somewhere around here.

Bo Schembechler is the greatest living American

by Goblue98 on Feb 24, 2012 4:22 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

This is relevant to my interests

In the name of the Woody, the Bo, and the Mustache Ride. Amen.

by Pariahwulfen on Feb 24, 2012 4:26 PM EST up reply actions  

AWWW YEEAHHHHH

"Not through speeches and majority decisions will the great questions of the day be decided - that was the great mistake of 1848 and 1849 - but by iron and blood!."--Otto von Bismarck

by idahobuckeye on Feb 24, 2012 8:46 PM EST up reply actions  

Ranch counts as a white sauce?

In the name of the Woody, the Bo, and the Mustache Ride. Amen.

by Pariahwulfen on Feb 24, 2012 3:12 PM EST up reply actions  

Craig James enjoyed Halloween more before the gay community began their influence

They hit the road doing ninety
Leave them steel mills far behind.
Ain't no good life down at the Ford plant
Three guitars or a life of crime.

by Dawg in Beaumont on Feb 24, 2012 1:22 PM EST reply actions  

This I Like

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

by DressHerInWhiteAndGold on Feb 24, 2012 1:30 PM EST up reply actions   3 recs

Craig James will discuss his Fantasy Football team with you unprompted

They hit the road doing ninety
Leave them steel mills far behind.
Ain't no good life down at the Ford plant
Three guitars or a life of crime.

by Dawg in Beaumont on Feb 24, 2012 1:24 PM EST reply actions  

Craig James prints all of his campaign brochures in Comic Sans.

And his website is done entirely in Papyrus.

Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy

Sometimes I tweet

by allicolls on Feb 24, 2012 1:24 PM EST reply actions  

Wooooooooo Pizza Friday here at work

And a hearty FUCK CRAIG JAMES

Electric dog-polisher, that was a good one. Gasoline-powered turtleneck sweater. Then, of course, I bought some dumb stuff too....

by Burrito Electrico on Feb 24, 2012 1:28 PM EST reply actions   4 recs

Our AA ordered personal pizzas from CPK today.

There may be a riot.

Play hard or play elsewhere.

by lhb98 on Feb 24, 2012 1:29 PM EST up reply actions  

Riot?

You have Craig James’ attention.

Electric dog-polisher, that was a good one. Gasoline-powered turtleneck sweater. Then, of course, I bought some dumb stuff too....

by Burrito Electrico on Feb 24, 2012 1:40 PM EST up reply actions  

I should have captioned this

“Craig James thinks it’s polite to take a half a pizza on his first pass on Pizza Friday.”

Electric dog-polisher, that was a good one. Gasoline-powered turtleneck sweater. Then, of course, I bought some dumb stuff too....

by Burrito Electrico on Feb 24, 2012 1:53 PM EST up reply actions  

GDGD is now the OC at Iowa

yeah horizontal passing game

JD’s like, "you want some f*&#ing pitching? Here’s all the pitching you can stand. Now choke on it, b*#&hes!"- RCCook

LSB: "Oh s#*t, JD. You crazy!"

by laxtonto on Feb 24, 2012 4:49 PM EST up reply actions  

There has been much amusement here regarding that

I believe it is only the tip of the iceberg compared to when the season starts.

Electric dog-polisher, that was a good one. Gasoline-powered turtleneck sweater. Then, of course, I bought some dumb stuff too....

by Burrito Electrico on Feb 24, 2012 4:52 PM EST up reply actions  

ohh yeah

I might tune in to an Iowa game to see if there is something that is the true opposites of four verts… 4 bubble screens?

JD’s like, "you want some f*&#ing pitching? Here’s all the pitching you can stand. Now choke on it, b*#&hes!"- RCCook

LSB: "Oh s#*t, JD. You crazy!"

by laxtonto on Feb 24, 2012 4:55 PM EST up reply actions  

A fake bubble screen on either side,

That turns into pairs of 2 and 5 yard outs, with one drag route?

Electric dog-polisher, that was a good one. Gasoline-powered turtleneck sweater. Then, of course, I bought some dumb stuff too....

by Burrito Electrico on Feb 24, 2012 4:57 PM EST up reply actions  

Craig James thinks the current busts on Mount Rushmore should be replaced by the following:

1. Millard Fillmore
2. William Henry Harrison
3. Ty Cobb
4. The writing staffs of Whitney and Are You There, Chelsea
…
25. The Marlboro Man

NR: Boise State

by Mango Stasi on Feb 24, 2012 1:28 PM EST reply actions  

Wait, Craig James thinks?

Anyone who listened to his analysis questions that he’s capable of thinking.

Twittering for no good reason.

by ElRocco337 on Feb 24, 2012 1:29 PM EST reply actions   1 recs

Craig James is opposed to torture.

This is why he will work to ensure Ohio State is never televised again.

by SEC Supremacist on Feb 24, 2012 1:31 PM EST reply actions   4 recs

So, ACS said this, but it applies here:

My loyal heart avows no other.

"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax

"[W]e have to keep reminding ourselves over and over: 'This is water, this is water.' "

by MikeLew on Feb 24, 2012 1:58 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Craig James had a good time

"Not through speeches and majority decisions will the great questions of the day be decided - that was the great mistake of 1848 and 1849 - but by iron and blood!."--Otto von Bismarck

by idahobuckeye on Feb 24, 2012 8:47 PM EST up reply actions  

*Real good time

"Not through speeches and majority decisions will the great questions of the day be decided - that was the great mistake of 1848 and 1849 - but by iron and blood!."--Otto von Bismarck

by idahobuckeye on Feb 24, 2012 8:47 PM EST up reply actions  

that is just not right..

those little bastards deserve to fly my man

JD’s like, "you want some f*&#ing pitching? Here’s all the pitching you can stand. Now choke on it, b*#&hes!"- RCCook

LSB: "Oh s#*t, JD. You crazy!"

by laxtonto on Feb 24, 2012 4:50 PM EST up reply actions  

Craig James puts mayonnaise on hot dogs.

You don’t want to know what he does with them after that.

¡El Hipopótamo!

by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 24, 2012 1:36 PM EST reply actions  

Craig James felt all "deja-vu" over this scene from "Justified"

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

by DressHerInWhiteAndGold on Feb 24, 2012 1:37 PM EST reply actions   2 recs

I forgot to bring a knife

"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal

by stempke on Feb 24, 2012 1:41 PM EST up reply actions  

Raylan's line at the end of that episode may have been the greatest "Fuck You" speech in basic cable history
“If you want to run your hillbilly heroine fiefdom up here, that’s between you and the great state of Kentucky. I got no interest in shitkicker-on-shitkicker crime. But you will not drag me into this. The next time you set up an operation in this county or any other it better not have my god damn family name on the deed or so help me God, I will lose this star and the dance we do subsequent to that will not end with you finding Jesus in a hospital bed.”

"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal

by stempke on Feb 24, 2012 2:01 PM EST up reply actions   3 recs

Walter Goggins on Boyd shooting Devil

“On that particular day Boyd was having a real hard time being the boss,” Goggins said. “He had a really hard day that day and I think it hurt him really bad. While he may not see eye to eye with Devil and he may not have a similar worldview as Devil anymore, he is still his friend. They have what I keep going back to—they have history.”

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

by DressHerInWhiteAndGold on Feb 24, 2012 2:12 PM EST up reply actions  

dance?

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

by DressHerInWhiteAndGold on Feb 24, 2012 2:28 PM EST up reply actions  

rec'd for man fauxfur

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

by DressHerInWhiteAndGold on Feb 24, 2012 1:38 PM EST up reply actions  

Craig James will solve this country's energy crisis by drilling

more holes in the heads of hookers at SMU.

Allegedly.

¡El Hipopótamo!

by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 24, 2012 1:46 PM EST reply actions   3 recs

Craig James believes the whole reason we have elected officials is so we don't have to think

just like that rainforest scare a few years back: Craig James saw there was a problem and he fixed it.

Dean of Auburn Institute for Exploding Dog Studies
Auburn Tigers, let's be stupid forever...
THE Oscar Whiskey

by Oscar Whiskey on Feb 24, 2012 1:48 PM EST reply actions  

FIFY

Craig James thinks the Air Raid offense is a lifestyle choice, and that Mike Leach will have to answer to God a PR firm for it.

by Mango Stasi on Feb 24, 2012 1:53 PM EST up reply actions   2 recs

Craig James thinks that the left lane should be the 'slow lane'.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
"Bicycle is new poverty mule. " - Spencer Prokhorov

by CoastalCowbell on Feb 24, 2012 1:48 PM EST reply actions  

It was self defense!

My anti-drug is football, because sometimes it is a better hallucinogen than anything you can get at Burning Man. - Spencer Hall 9/28/11

by car.full.of.midgets on Feb 24, 2012 1:56 PM EST up reply actions  

Transcript from one of Craig James's rallies

Thank you! Thank you very much, thank you! First of all, let me say how happy I am to be your nominee for the United States Senate! You know.. thank you.. I don’t really understand your Congress, or your system of checks and balances.. because, as I said during the campaign – I’m just Craig James! I fell on some ice, and later got thawed out by scientists. But there is one thing I do know – we must do everything in our power to lower the Capitol Gains Tax. Thank you!

by SEC Supremacist on Feb 24, 2012 1:51 PM EST reply actions  

Craig James has a grandson with a dog collar

Shut Up! I must have my EDSBS and my bourbons!!

by Eddie Teach on Feb 24, 2012 1:55 PM EST reply actions   3 recs

Craig James has cable??

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

by DressHerInWhiteAndGold on Feb 24, 2012 1:59 PM EST up reply actions  

those empty spindles make excellent tables.

/never grow up

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
"Bicycle is new poverty mule. " - Spencer Prokhorov

by CoastalCowbell on Feb 24, 2012 2:03 PM EST up reply actions  

when they grow up they wanna be

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

by DressHerInWhiteAndGold on Feb 24, 2012 2:08 PM EST up reply actions  

An engine block turned wine-rack?

Somehow that seems wrong.

"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal

by stempke on Feb 24, 2012 2:09 PM EST up reply actions  

except in Canada.

/baseless claim

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
"Bicycle is new poverty mule. " - Spencer Prokhorov

by CoastalCowbell on Feb 24, 2012 2:13 PM EST up reply actions  

or

very ’80’s chic

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

by DressHerInWhiteAndGold on Feb 24, 2012 2:26 PM EST up reply actions   3 recs

Deeeepends, adult undergarments,

they’re wet then they’re dry!
My, my, my, my!

Play hard or play elsewhere.

by lhb98 on Feb 24, 2012 2:27 PM EST up reply actions  

I blame the wine tasters

Even though it’s physically impossible to taste more than five flavors at a time, they will continue to look down on those that can’t pick up all 14 “notes” in that merlot

"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal

by stempke on Feb 24, 2012 2:31 PM EST up reply actions  

I don't know which side you're mocking

If it’s the wine drinkers looking down on the car people, you need more condescension and less spelling mistakes. If it’s the other way around, why would they call the cars stupid.

"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal

by stempke on Feb 24, 2012 3:16 PM EST up reply actions  

Mocking your striaght-from-the-ass Venn diagram.

Unless I’m mistaken, and you were referring to Lemmy fans.

by Grib on Feb 24, 2012 3:33 PM EST up reply actions  

the typical gearhead (to shift nicknames and avoid confusion) in my neck of the woods would much rather have a beer than a glass of wine

I have no idea why you would think that I find cars stupid.

"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal

by stempke on Feb 24, 2012 3:43 PM EST up reply actions  

See the title of my reply above.

Again, it was the premise of your imaginary diagram which was being mocked.

by Grib on Feb 24, 2012 3:50 PM EST up reply actions  

I don't find the premise to be that silly

There are people who love cars enough to decorate their home with engine parts. There are also people who drink wine enough to have a wine rack. It’s been my experience that these two groups don’t have much overlap. Obviously your mileage (hehehe car pun) varies

"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal

by stempke on Feb 24, 2012 3:55 PM EST up reply actions  

Bitch, please!

Man on the left says what?

Either love your players or get out of coaching. -- Bobby Dodd

by Golden Hand on Feb 25, 2012 3:26 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Craig James cant wait to hear how TEBOWFAVRETHEDECISION is just like THEYANKS/SAWXRIVALRY

They hit the road doing ninety
Leave them steel mills far behind.
Ain't no good life down at the Ford plant
Three guitars or a life of crime.

by Dawg in Beaumont on Feb 24, 2012 1:56 PM EST reply actions  

Craig James thinks Jeremy Lin is missing from this post

all I ask is for the chance to prove that money can't buy happiness

by Tike the Miger on Feb 25, 2012 12:45 AM EST up reply actions  

Craig James thinks Season 4 of "Archer" will be bitchin'

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

by DressHerInWhiteAndGold on Feb 24, 2012 1:58 PM EST reply actions  

Craig James thinks the NAPA Know How commercials are a hoot.

My anti-drug is football, because sometimes it is a better hallucinogen than anything you can get at Burning Man. - Spencer Hall 9/28/11

by car.full.of.midgets on Feb 24, 2012 1:58 PM EST reply actions  

Craig James is against picketing, but doesn't know how to show it.

/had to be done

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
"Bicycle is new poverty mule. " - Spencer Prokhorov

by CoastalCowbell on Feb 24, 2012 2:04 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Craig hasn't slept for ten days....

/showsselfout

all I ask is for the chance to prove that money can't buy happiness

by Tike the Miger on Feb 25, 2012 12:45 AM EST up reply actions  

Still plays Tenchu from PS1?

Still plays Tenchu from PS1

I started at 221.6. I'm now 209.6. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast

by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 24, 2012 2:03 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Ah, Metal Gear Solid

The game that got me through my post-ACL reconstruction period.

Electric dog-polisher, that was a good one. Gasoline-powered turtleneck sweater. Then, of course, I bought some dumb stuff too....

by Burrito Electrico on Feb 24, 2012 2:04 PM EST up reply actions  

Certainly not after the sizable amount of damage I did to my knee

So that means I could be starting QB, right?

Though being well over 25 means I’d have to transfer to Okie State?

Electric dog-polisher, that was a good one. Gasoline-powered turtleneck sweater. Then, of course, I bought some dumb stuff too....

by Burrito Electrico on Feb 24, 2012 2:20 PM EST up reply actions  

or Florida State

or LSU

/Weinke/Mauck’d

all I ask is for the chance to prove that money can't buy happiness

by Tike the Miger on Feb 25, 2012 12:47 AM EST up reply actions  

Craig James whistles the theme from "Twilight Zone" as the elevator descends.

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

by DressHerInWhiteAndGold on Feb 24, 2012 2:02 PM EST up reply actions  

Claims or Blames?

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

by DressHerInWhiteAndGold on Feb 24, 2012 2:04 PM EST up reply actions  

WHARRGARBL

I started at 221.6. I'm now 209.6. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast

by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 24, 2012 2:04 PM EST up reply actions  

He also takes a seat on the bus before all the elderly and/or pregnant do.

It’s not his problem you’re slow.

Those who stay will be champions.

by willbechampions on Feb 24, 2012 2:04 PM EST via Android app up reply actions  

But pushes the Door Close button repeatedly when he sees someone coming.

Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy

Sometimes I tweet

by allicolls on Feb 24, 2012 2:07 PM EST up reply actions  

and lets his kid pull the bell rope before every bus stop

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

by DressHerInWhiteAndGold on Feb 24, 2012 2:14 PM EST up reply actions  

or Eric

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

by DressHerInWhiteAndGold on Feb 24, 2012 2:05 PM EST up reply actions  

Or ¡Rob!

Electric dog-polisher, that was a good one. Gasoline-powered turtleneck sweater. Then, of course, I bought some dumb stuff too....

by Burrito Electrico on Feb 24, 2012 2:09 PM EST up reply actions  

Community was canceled?!?!?!

I thought it was back in March?

Craig James thought Man Up was hilarious and canceled too soon.

Dude, I like Katy Perry and watch "Glee." I’m pretty much a lost fucking cause.

by Queen Hoka-Hotty-Toddy on Feb 24, 2012 2:48 PM EST up reply actions  

It was "put on hiatus"

That hiatus ends when it returns March 15. But, many on here expected that hiatus to mean that it was going to be cancelled.

My loyal heart avows no other.

"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax

"[W]e have to keep reminding ourselves over and over: 'This is water, this is water.' "

by MikeLew on Feb 24, 2012 2:49 PM EST up reply actions  

Because 9 times out of 10, shows don't come back after being shelved

The terrible rating for Whitney and Are You There, Chelsea had a lot to do with it coming back. NBC basically decided “If we’re guaranteed to have shitty ratings, we might as well have the critical acclaim”

"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal

by stempke on Feb 24, 2012 2:52 PM EST up reply actions  

there are only so many high rating shows at once

leave us the cult classics.

EDSBS's finest fifteen year old
Chicagoland's 3,607,832nd finest resident

by dudebrabroman on Feb 24, 2012 2:53 PM EST up reply actions  

Yes, yes, I thought they were going to cancel it too-

and the Whitney and Chelsea shows were soooo terrible, I don’t know who seriously could have thought those would be a good idea.

My loyal heart avows no other.

"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax

"[W]e have to keep reminding ourselves over and over: 'This is water, this is water.' "

by MikeLew on Feb 24, 2012 2:59 PM EST up reply actions  

This is American TV.

Said female would have to be hot.

Play hard or play elsewhere.

by lhb98 on Feb 24, 2012 3:02 PM EST up reply actions  

Most people find Laura Prepon to be quite fetching

"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal

by stempke on Feb 24, 2012 3:03 PM EST up reply actions  

meh

EDSBS's finest fifteen year old
Chicagoland's 3,607,832nd finest resident

by dudebrabroman on Feb 24, 2012 3:04 PM EST up reply actions  

Hotter as a redhead

My loyal heart avows no other.

"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax

"[W]e have to keep reminding ourselves over and over: 'This is water, this is water.' "

by MikeLew on Feb 24, 2012 3:05 PM EST up reply actions  

NEIN

EDSBS's finest fifteen year old
Chicagoland's 3,607,832nd finest resident

by dudebrabroman on Feb 24, 2012 3:05 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

I don't think the American public is nearly as willing to accept a woman sleeping around or drinking a ton or generally being a waste of a person-

something they were apparently willing to accept with Charlie Sheen(and I’m assuming his character).

I don’t find either situation something I want to watch, but it seems to me that that’s a line America still draws.

My loyal heart avows no other.

"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax

"[W]e have to keep reminding ourselves over and over: 'This is water, this is water.' "

by MikeLew on Feb 24, 2012 3:05 PM EST up reply actions  

HBO, not network-

which is a huge difference

My loyal heart avows no other.

"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax

"[W]e have to keep reminding ourselves over and over: 'This is water, this is water.' "

by MikeLew on Feb 24, 2012 3:23 PM EST up reply actions  

It would sure as hell confuse our grandparents

The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
"If a Sith lord really wanted to mess with people he’d call himself Darth Fruitbasket" - Gabe

by Londonjoe on Feb 24, 2012 3:26 PM EST up reply actions  

and stempke

The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
"If a Sith lord really wanted to mess with people he’d call himself Darth Fruitbasket" - Gabe

by Londonjoe on Feb 24, 2012 3:26 PM EST up reply actions  

YOU CALLING ME OLD?

age-ist

"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal

by stempke on Feb 24, 2012 3:33 PM EST up reply actions  

MDWM

All y’all!

2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."

by MtnEer_in_SC on Feb 24, 2012 3:45 PM EST up reply actions  

There's An Advantage There

The old onion on the belt helps keep ’em off our lawns.

by AlbieUte on Feb 24, 2012 3:49 PM EST up reply actions  

So does the carbine, and it's much more effective...

2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."

by MtnEer_in_SC on Feb 24, 2012 3:53 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

yes sir

EDSBS's finest fifteen year old
Chicagoland's 3,607,832nd finest resident

by dudebrabroman on Feb 24, 2012 3:53 PM EST up reply actions  

You can stay.....

You’ve been polite.

2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."

by MtnEer_in_SC on Feb 24, 2012 3:57 PM EST up reply actions  

woohooo

EDSBS's finest fifteen year old
Chicagoland's 3,607,832nd finest resident

by dudebrabroman on Feb 24, 2012 3:58 PM EST up reply actions  

Craig James would like to know if you guys

know how to post videos to Facebook?

Writer/Analyst/Head Chef
And the Valley Shook

by Billy Gomila on Feb 24, 2012 2:04 PM EST reply actions   2 recs

wearing a Stetson

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

by DressHerInWhiteAndGold on Feb 24, 2012 2:24 PM EST up reply actions  

Craig James thinks Miley Cryrus should have been cast in Les Miserables.

Of course, he also thinks that muscials a re a lifestyle choice and greatly prefers the collected works of Tyler Perry.

Play hard or play elsewhere.

by lhb98 on Feb 24, 2012 2:06 PM EST reply actions   2 recs

Craig James has seen Pluto Nash 47 times, and can't understand why the Academy snubbed it.

My anti-drug is football, because sometimes it is a better hallucinogen than anything you can get at Burning Man. - Spencer Hall 9/28/11

by car.full.of.midgets on Feb 24, 2012 2:07 PM EST reply actions  

/convulses

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
"Bicycle is new poverty mule. " - Spencer Prokhorov

by CoastalCowbell on Feb 24, 2012 2:07 PM EST up reply actions  

Craig James doesn't hate Iowa

My anti-drug is football, because sometimes it is a better hallucinogen than anything you can get at Burning Man. - Spencer Hall 9/28/11

by car.full.of.midgets on Feb 24, 2012 2:08 PM EST up reply actions  

Craig James wears "Let's hold hands chastely" pants.

I started at 221.6. I'm now 209.6. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast

by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 24, 2012 2:10 PM EST up reply actions  

When Craig James doesn't always drink beer,

but when he does, it’s something Hipster

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

by DressHerInWhiteAndGold on Feb 24, 2012 2:24 PM EST up reply actions  

No, he was doing the echo.

I started at 221.6. I'm now 209.6. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast

by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 24, 2012 2:11 PM EST up reply actions  

I am on 3g....

If the brute force method fails, you didn't use enough brute force.

by AubEng on Feb 24, 2012 2:14 PM EST up reply actions   2 recs

2400 baud rate here

Michael Jackson died?

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

by DressHerInWhiteAndGold on Feb 24, 2012 2:15 PM EST up reply actions  

all Mosaic and Gopher

Mosaic and

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

by DressHerInWhiteAndGold on Feb 24, 2012 2:23 PM EST up reply actions  

As did I.

In the name of the Woody, the Bo, and the Mustache Ride. Amen.

by Pariahwulfen on Feb 24, 2012 3:38 PM EST up reply actions  

Me too.

"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."

by mnHorn on Feb 24, 2012 3:40 PM EST up reply actions  

Craig James would like to be your head coach and has a crack staff assembled

Starting with offensive coordinator Gary Crowton and defensive mastermind Greg Robinson.

Writer/Analyst/Head Chef
And the Valley Shook

by Billy Gomila on Feb 24, 2012 2:09 PM EST reply actions  

Strength and Conditioning Coach The Charles

I started at 221.6. I'm now 209.6. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast

by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 24, 2012 2:12 PM EST up reply actions  

WR Coach Wxxdy McCxrvey

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
"Bicycle is new poverty mule. " - Spencer Prokhorov

by CoastalCowbell on Feb 24, 2012 2:12 PM EST up reply actions  

Dietitian Mark Mangino

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

by DressHerInWhiteAndGold on Feb 24, 2012 2:37 PM EST up reply actions  

Craig James would stock his staff

with the Shulas and the Bowdens.

Play hard or play elsewhere.

by lhb98 on Feb 24, 2012 2:38 PM EST up reply actions  

But not the high-end Bowdens...

You know, he’d go for the Tommys and the Jeffs.

2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."

by MtnEer_in_SC on Feb 24, 2012 2:42 PM EST up reply actions  

Craig James used to hang out with Charlie Sheen... Until Sheen mysteriously ran out of hookers

"Shabbat Shalom motherfuckers" Mordechai Jefferson Carver
לכאלה הולכים שבאה

by 8gooner8 on Feb 24, 2012 2:11 PM EST reply actions   1 recs

Craig James doesn't put the new roll of toilet paper on the holder.

"Ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions."

by JasonEG on Feb 24, 2012 2:14 PM EST reply actions   2 recs

and when he does, he puts it on backwards.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
"Bicycle is new poverty mule. " - Spencer Prokhorov

by CoastalCowbell on Feb 24, 2012 2:16 PM EST up reply actions  

and leaves the seat up, cause bitches are just hookers anyway

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

by DressHerInWhiteAndGold on Feb 24, 2012 2:17 PM EST up reply actions  

They never get the chance to use his bathroom

allegedly.

"Ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions."

by JasonEG on Feb 24, 2012 2:19 PM EST up reply actions  

Yeah, but maybe it's true.

Bo Schembechler is the greatest living American

by Goblue98 on Feb 24, 2012 4:28 PM EST up reply actions  

Excelsior!

My anti-drug is football, because sometimes it is a better hallucinogen than anything you can get at Burning Man. - Spencer Hall 9/28/11

by car.full.of.midgets on Feb 24, 2012 2:16 PM EST up reply actions  

does "She who's name cannot be mentioned on EDSBS" get a pay bump?

Rhymes with Slam Bored

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

by DressHerInWhiteAndGold on Feb 24, 2012 2:18 PM EST up reply actions   2 recs

Nah, she just gets to wear the marzipan dunce hat now.

My anti-drug is football, because sometimes it is a better hallucinogen than anything you can get at Burning Man. - Spencer Hall 9/28/11

by car.full.of.midgets on Feb 24, 2012 2:23 PM EST up reply actions  

I actually look forward to having to answer to God.

I have some questions about 2007 for Him.

¡El Hipopótamo!

by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 24, 2012 3:08 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

namely... why have you forsaken me.

EDSBS's finest fifteen year old
Chicagoland's 3,607,832nd finest resident

by dudebrabroman on Feb 24, 2012 3:08 PM EST up reply actions  

I have one question for Him. It's a question that has haunted me for years

It’s not about the meaning of life or something philosophical, or something cool like the dinosaurs. I have to ask him why, one day in 2004 when I was living in NY, when I driving to visit my future wife, and I came upon a woman standing in the middle of the road franticly waving her arms. She had been trying to make a call and somehow locked herself out of her car. So, I was getting ready to shimmy a coat hanger into the window to pop the lock and I noticed that the passenger side door was unlocked.

WHY DID THAT WOMAN GET OUT OF HER CAR, WHEN CELL PHONES STILL WORK IN CARS, AND WHY DID SHE LOCK HER DOOR?

"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal

by stempke on Feb 24, 2012 3:13 PM EST up reply actions  

the simplest minds are the hardest to understand

EDSBS's finest fifteen year old
Chicagoland's 3,607,832nd finest resident

by dudebrabroman on Feb 24, 2012 3:16 PM EST up reply actions  

Not, the middle of nowhere, on the Jersey Turnpike

Not the side of the road, she was standing in traffic. This woman could have very easily been killed, which is why I stopped and I NEED TO KNOW WHAT WAS SO IMPORTANT THAT SHE HAD TO LEAVE THE CAR

"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal

by stempke on Feb 24, 2012 3:20 PM EST up reply actions  

Divine intervention

That’s why this is between me and The Big Man (although if Clarence can’t answer, I may have to ask God)

"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal

by stempke on Feb 24, 2012 3:24 PM EST up reply actions  

I can't wait till Joe Schad reports this 2 weeks from now

"Shabbat Shalom motherfuckers" Mordechai Jefferson Carver
לכאלה הולכים שבאה

by 8gooner8 on Feb 24, 2012 2:17 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

In the name of the Woody, the Bo, and the Mustache Ride. Amen.

by Pariahwulfen on Feb 24, 2012 3:43 PM EST up reply actions  

Craig James loves when people try too hard to ram their view into what can otherwise be a fun Craig James bashing session

/not a Palin fan
//just sayin

They hit the road doing ninety
Leave them steel mills far behind.
Ain't no good life down at the Ford plant
Three guitars or a life of crime.

by Dawg in Beaumont on Feb 24, 2012 2:18 PM EST up reply actions   4 recs

and therefore

If the brute force method fails, you didn't use enough brute force.

by AubEng on Feb 24, 2012 2:23 PM EST up reply actions  

If you say so

No big deal, it just seemed like your many posts on this one were simply being used a chance to go through a bash the GOP checklist. Again, not a fan of abstinence only education or the Palins. Just throwing it out there.

They hit the road doing ninety
Leave them steel mills far behind.
Ain't no good life down at the Ford plant
Three guitars or a life of crime.

by Dawg in Beaumont on Feb 24, 2012 2:23 PM EST up reply actions  

It's the 'politics,' not your bashing or the direction of your bashing that's the issue.

That can’t be too difficult to comprehend.

"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."

by mnHorn on Feb 24, 2012 3:47 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

they can co-exist, there is a lot of middle ground

EDSBS's finest fifteen year old
Chicagoland's 3,607,832nd finest resident

by dudebrabroman on Feb 24, 2012 3:51 PM EST up reply actions  

Can we bring up other loathsome human beings?

Cause Ive got some things to get off my chest about Mango Stasi

Punting is winning.

by The Assman 1 on Feb 24, 2012 3:51 PM EST up reply actions  

I've got a lot of problems with you people

AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA HEAR ABOUT THEM!

¡El Hipopótamo!

by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 24, 2012 4:00 PM EST up reply actions  

/avoids eye contact at all costs

//attempts to slink out of room

"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal

by stempke on Feb 24, 2012 4:01 PM EST up reply actions  

Meatloaf

cooked

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

by DressHerInWhiteAndGold on Feb 24, 2012 4:02 PM EST up reply actions  

MOAR BALLOONS

The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
"If a Sith lord really wanted to mess with people he’d call himself Darth Fruitbasket" - Gabe

by Londonjoe on Feb 24, 2012 4:20 PM EST up reply actions  

H8 H8 H8H88H8H8H8H8H8HH8

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
"Bicycle is new poverty mule. " - Spencer Prokhorov

by CoastalCowbell on Feb 24, 2012 3:57 PM EST up reply actions  

Many of your original statements had political undertones to them.

I saw very few that weren’t just jokes with some or all of those things you put in parentheses.

"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."

by mnHorn on Feb 24, 2012 4:04 PM EST up reply actions  

Same here

it’s so fun to bash the extremes of both parties, the tea parAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
/trapdoorspider.gif

In the name of the Woody, the Bo, and the Mustache Ride. Amen.

by Pariahwulfen on Feb 24, 2012 3:48 PM EST up reply actions  

?

Play hard or play elsewhere.

by lhb98 on Feb 24, 2012 2:24 PM EST up reply actions   2 recs

This is my favorite spider gif.

Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy

Sometimes I tweet

by allicolls on Feb 24, 2012 2:26 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Craig James posts 50000 x 50000 pictures of suits of armor

so you can see the detail

I started at 221.6. I'm now 209.6. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast

by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 24, 2012 2:17 PM EST reply actions  

why does he like California?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
"Bicycle is new poverty mule. " - Spencer Prokhorov

by CoastalCowbell on Feb 24, 2012 2:19 PM EST up reply actions  

Craig James posts huge .gifs without titles.

by SEC Supremacist on Feb 24, 2012 2:21 PM EST reply actions  

Also, posts huge .gifs without titties.

I honestly thought that’s what you had written at first.

Freudian slip?

If the brute force method fails, you didn't use enough brute force.

by AubEng on Feb 24, 2012 2:29 PM EST up reply actions  

that too would be a sin of omission

if it’s going to have a huge gif, it better have titties.

by SEC Supremacist on Feb 24, 2012 2:29 PM EST up reply actions  

fruedian slip

you’re not alone in this

In the name of the Woody, the Bo, and the Mustache Ride. Amen.

by Pariahwulfen on Feb 24, 2012 3:50 PM EST up reply actions  

Always rec'd.

Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy

Sometimes I tweet

by allicolls on Feb 24, 2012 3:51 PM EST up reply actions  

WAVY TAILED GUMMY!

My loyal heart avows no other.

"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax

"[W]e have to keep reminding ourselves over and over: 'This is water, this is water.' "

by MikeLew on Feb 24, 2012 3:56 PM EST up reply actions  

D:

"Not through speeches and majority decisions will the great questions of the day be decided - that was the great mistake of 1848 and 1849 - but by iron and blood!."--Otto von Bismarck

by idahobuckeye on Feb 24, 2012 8:59 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Craig James forgot to bring beer, so he just drank your last Abita Strawberry.

(Happy Strawbita Day, y’all!)

Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy

Sometimes I tweet

by allicolls on Feb 24, 2012 2:23 PM EST reply actions   1 recs

So good

Is it 5 o’clock yet?

They hit the road doing ninety
Leave them steel mills far behind.
Ain't no good life down at the Ford plant
Three guitars or a life of crime.

by Dawg in Beaumont on Feb 24, 2012 2:27 PM EST up reply actions  

it is in Nova Scotia

and that’s good enough for me!

Shut Up! I must have my EDSBS and my bourbons!!

by Eddie Teach on Feb 24, 2012 4:01 PM EST up reply actions  

Buying at least 4 cases today.

I usually make it last well into the summer. It requires all of my willpower.

Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy

Sometimes I tweet

by allicolls on Feb 24, 2012 2:37 PM EST up reply actions  

How did it turn out?

Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy

Sometimes I tweet

by allicolls on Feb 24, 2012 2:39 PM EST up reply actions  

Pretty well, actually.

I just threw in some mushed-up strawberries with an American wheat beer, and amazingly, it worked.

¡El Hipopótamo!

by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 24, 2012 2:41 PM EST up reply actions  

Have you had the real thing to compare it to?

Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy

Sometimes I tweet

by allicolls on Feb 24, 2012 2:43 PM EST up reply actions  

I completely overestimated the "YAY LOUISIANA" effect that I anticipated would take place on Tuesday

I have quite a bit of Rasp-Bita that I fear will go unsold.

"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal

by stempke on Feb 24, 2012 2:34 PM EST up reply actions  

Guess you'll have to just drink it yourself, huh?

My loyal heart avows no other.

"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax

"[W]e have to keep reminding ourselves over and over: 'This is water, this is water.' "

by MikeLew on Feb 24, 2012 2:35 PM EST up reply actions  

You should totally do a six pack of the month and send it out, if paid

IE mail me Spotted Cow*
*Yes, this is illegal. No, I don’t care. Yes, I will overpay.

Twitter
Currently .01. This goes away when I'm .17.

by emc503 on Feb 24, 2012 2:36 PM EST up reply actions  

Or I imagine you could do

“Gumbo/Po Boy/Etoufee Night,” whip up a few Nawlins style dishes and have like $3 Abitas to clean out the stock

Twitter
Currently .01. This goes away when I'm .17.

by emc503 on Feb 24, 2012 2:37 PM EST up reply actions  

That's what I tried to do at Mardi Gras

We had a crawfish boil with specials on Hurricanes and Abita. The hurricanes were a hit. the ’Bita, not so much.

"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal

by stempke on Feb 24, 2012 2:38 PM EST up reply actions  

Eh, I don't get the local slobnobbing of Abita

Their double IPA is great though, and it’s a fun drive over the lake to the brewery/all you can drink testing room.

NOLA Hopitoulas FTW!

JHGraas on Twitter

by JHGraas on Feb 24, 2012 2:46 PM EST up reply actions  

Ahhh, we're taunting them on here now, I see-

So, this is where I’ll mention that my distributor friend has promised me 6 cases of this nectar are already reserved from his shipment for my personal stock

My loyal heart avows no other.

"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax

"[W]e have to keep reminding ourselves over and over: 'This is water, this is water.' "

by MikeLew on Feb 24, 2012 2:35 PM EST up reply actions  

I tried their raspberry one before, I think it was called "Purple Haze"

I liked it less than Blue Moon. Which is to say, I like it about as much as I liked as I liked the concoctions of my 6-year-old brain. LET’S SEE, GOT SOME WATER IN A BUCKET, ONION GRASS, A FEW DANDELIONS, TREE BARK AND FLOWER BUDS FROM THE CREPE MYRTLE EVEN THOUGH MOM TOLD ME NOT TO TOUCH IT, AND crabgrass ALIEN DNA. THIS IS GOING TO BE AS GOOD OF A MAGICAL POTION AS I JUST SAW ON SPACE GHOST.

by Synaesthesia on Feb 24, 2012 2:49 PM EST up reply actions  

Purple Hase is indeed the name

It’s good, not great. Like most fruity beers, I imagine it’s better when it’s hot out.

"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal

by stempke on Feb 24, 2012 2:53 PM EST up reply actions  

Didn't work for me; I tried it in the summer, living in my apartment with no air conditioning

When I find that I’m in the mood for something with both alcohol and fruit, I usually end up getting a cider like Woodchuck.

I may not be the best judge of taste, though. My favorite beers are Irish stouts and…. that’s pretty much it.

by Synaesthesia on Feb 24, 2012 2:59 PM EST up reply actions  

Craig James is gonna die

Shut Up! I must have my EDSBS and my bourbons!!

by Eddie Teach on Feb 24, 2012 2:25 PM EST up reply actions  

Craig James thinks your assumptions that "hookers" automatically means female sex-workers is gendered

and will rant at you for the next hour. He will then get tenure and proceed to completely make up facts in his Japanese Art History class.

I started at 221.6. I'm now 209.6. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast

by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 24, 2012 2:31 PM EST up reply actions  

You're petitioning to get the next term called the "fall ov-ester", right?

:-P

My loyal heart avows no other.

"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax

"[W]e have to keep reminding ourselves over and over: 'This is water, this is water.' "

by MikeLew on Feb 24, 2012 2:33 PM EST up reply actions  

What's funny is that a full 75% of Japanese art from the 1600's through 1900? Hookers.

I started at 221.6. I'm now 209.6. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast

by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 24, 2012 2:39 PM EST up reply actions  

But only when they're dead...

While they’re alive they’re geisha.

2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."

by MtnEer_in_SC on Feb 24, 2012 2:40 PM EST up reply actions  

W-0R89TYG9PSDUIFGHWDGH[9QERYT[8A;DKGDGHQ09EIT1241-9TYJ2

I started at 221.6. I'm now 209.6. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast

by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 24, 2012 2:42 PM EST up reply actions   3 recs

More specifically, woman's mortality

allegedly.

My anti-drug is football, because sometimes it is a better hallucinogen than anything you can get at Burning Man. - Spencer Hall 9/28/11

by car.full.of.midgets on Feb 24, 2012 2:27 PM EST up reply actions  

That was a hanging curve if ever I've seen one.

My anti-drug is football, because sometimes it is a better hallucinogen than anything you can get at Burning Man. - Spencer Hall 9/28/11

by car.full.of.midgets on Feb 24, 2012 2:29 PM EST up reply actions  

Craig James thinks Schnelly isn't dapper.

My anti-drug is football, because sometimes it is a better hallucinogen than anything you can get at Burning Man. - Spencer Hall 9/28/11

by car.full.of.midgets on Feb 24, 2012 2:24 PM EST reply actions  

Craig James framed Roger Rabbit

"Shabbat Shalom motherfuckers" Mordechai Jefferson Carver
לכאלה הולכים שבאה

by 8gooner8 on Feb 24, 2012 2:30 PM EST reply actions  

Craig James edits the "Jack the Ripper" wiki weekly

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

by DressHerInWhiteAndGold on Feb 24, 2012 2:34 PM EST reply actions  

LOLOLOLOL

"Not through speeches and majority decisions will the great questions of the day be decided - that was the great mistake of 1848 and 1849 - but by iron and blood!."--Otto von Bismarck

by idahobuckeye on Feb 24, 2012 8:57 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Craig James doesn't understand any of the new VW commercials

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

by DressHerInWhiteAndGold on Feb 24, 2012 2:38 PM EST reply actions  

LOLOL

Weis and fit in the same sentence!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
"Bicycle is new poverty mule. " - Spencer Prokhorov

by CoastalCowbell on Feb 24, 2012 2:39 PM EST up reply actions   4 recs

Craig James drinks Bud Dry.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
"Bicycle is new poverty mule. " - Spencer Prokhorov

by CoastalCowbell on Feb 24, 2012 2:39 PM EST reply actions  

Pearl

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

by DressHerInWhiteAndGold on Feb 24, 2012 2:42 PM EST up reply actions  

But he still couldn't solve the rebus under the cap....

2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."

by MtnEer_in_SC on Feb 24, 2012 2:44 PM EST up reply actions  

Craig James was the focus group that approved Bud Light Platinum.

Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy

Sometimes I tweet

by allicolls on Feb 24, 2012 2:40 PM EST up reply actions  

I had one of those at a MG parade over the weekend

All I can figure is that Craig James believes it makes a great untraceable poison

JHGraas on Twitter

by JHGraas on Feb 24, 2012 2:59 PM EST up reply actions  

no.

If I can’t afford to drink well, I can’t afford to drink.

by SEC Supremacist on Feb 24, 2012 2:42 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Quitter.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
"Bicycle is new poverty mule. " - Spencer Prokhorov

by CoastalCowbell on Feb 24, 2012 4:32 PM EST up reply actions  

nice! i pulled ol Alvin out again, upthread.

heeeeeres yer rec!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
"Bicycle is new poverty mule. " - Spencer Prokhorov

by CoastalCowbell on Feb 24, 2012 2:42 PM EST up reply actions  

Craig James thinks Shaft is more dangerous without the badge

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

by DressHerInWhiteAndGold on Feb 24, 2012 2:42 PM EST reply actions  

...
I think right now in this country, our moral fiber is sliding down a slope that is going to be hard to stop if we don’t stand up with leaders who don’t go ride in Super Bowl parades. I can assure you I will never ride in a Super Bowl parade.

Craig James believes that gaining positive yardage is a lifestyle choice.

by Mango Stasi on Feb 24, 2012 2:42 PM EST reply actions  

Craig James doesn't tip, period.

He believes tipping anyone is a waste, if she could end up dead 15 minutes after her shift

"Shabbat Shalom motherfuckers" Mordechai Jefferson Carver
לכאלה הולכים שבאה

by 8gooner8 on Feb 24, 2012 2:52 PM EST up reply actions  

Craig James is very sorry the government taxes your tips.

That’s fucked up. That ain’t his fault. It would seem to him that waitresses are one of the many groups the government fucks in the ass on a regular basis. Look, if you ask him to sign something that says the government shouldn’t do that, he’ll sign it, put it to a vote, he’ll vote for it, but what Craig James won’t do is play ball. And as for this non-college bullshit he’s got two words for that: learn to fuckin’ type, ‘cause if you’re expecting him to help out with the rent you’re in for a big fuckin’ surprise.

Dude, I like Katy Perry and watch "Glee." I’m pretty much a lost fucking cause.

by Queen Hoka-Hotty-Toddy on Feb 24, 2012 2:58 PM EST up reply actions   2 recs

I don't...

While not up to the high standards of his work with the Beatles, his post-Beatles career was not a joke.

2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."

by MtnEer_in_SC on Feb 24, 2012 2:54 PM EST up reply actions  

While I wouldn't say I'm a Wings fan

I do enjoy Band on the Run every once in a while.

I started at 221.6. I'm now 209.6. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast

by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 24, 2012 2:56 PM EST up reply actions  

Independent events

McCartney’s post-Beatle career? Joke. Not opinion – fact.

But Paul as the greatest Beatle? I’ll allow it.

Play hard or play elsewhere.

by lhb98 on Feb 24, 2012 2:51 PM EST up reply actions  

I agree at least with the latter.

But he did write some good songs while with the Beatles.

by Uga in DC on Feb 24, 2012 2:51 PM EST up reply actions  

I'm solidly #teamgeorge

but the only acceptable answer to “Worst Beatle” has been and will always be Ringo.

My anti-drug is football, because sometimes it is a better hallucinogen than anything you can get at Burning Man. - Spencer Hall 9/28/11

by car.full.of.midgets on Feb 24, 2012 2:56 PM EST up reply actions  

Everyone?

I was not part of this discussion. Paul McCartney, George Harrison, and John Lennon all contributed to music in incredibly important, but vastly different ways. To argue one was greater than the other is really just an argument in what you look for in a musician.

John showed that song writing can have weight and meaning and still lead to commercial success, so people that like songs to have deeper meaning love John. Paul showed that fun light-hearted pop music doesn’t have to suck, so if you think of music as escapism and don’t think it should bring you down, you love McCartney. George Harrison is just awesome at every instrument he ever touched. He brought the Sitar in the collective consciousness. So anyone who is drawn to seemingly superhuman talent loves them some George.

Ringo can go potty all by himself.

"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal

by stempke on Feb 24, 2012 2:58 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Craig James' wonders who this "Paul McCartney" was that was on the Grammys,

and why there wasn’t more Nicki Minaj.

Dude, I like Katy Perry and watch "Glee." I’m pretty much a lost fucking cause.

by Queen Hoka-Hotty-Toddy on Feb 24, 2012 3:01 PM EST up reply actions  

Paul made the band go 'round.

It was thought that the "Hanger" beat all shots. Then, the "Balancer" was discovered.

by Wristy on Feb 25, 2012 4:52 AM EST up reply actions  

The Stars at night!

are big and bright!

...I can count my years in scars...

by Boozy McHound on Feb 24, 2012 2:58 PM EST up reply actions  

CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP

DEEP IN THE HEART OF TEXAS!

/Pee Wee’d

Dude, I like Katy Perry and watch "Glee." I’m pretty much a lost fucking cause.

by Queen Hoka-Hotty-Toddy on Feb 24, 2012 3:01 PM EST up reply actions  

"I remember...."

Electric dog-polisher, that was a good one. Gasoline-powered turtleneck sweater. Then, of course, I bought some dumb stuff too....

by Burrito Electrico on Feb 24, 2012 3:09 PM EST up reply actions  

3 to go

Play hard or play elsewhere.

by lhb98 on Feb 24, 2012 2:49 PM EST up reply actions  

2 I think...

The chicken is involved but the pig is committed

by maddraven1716 on Feb 24, 2012 2:50 PM EST up reply actions  

wait..nvmd...

The chicken is involved but the pig is committed

by maddraven1716 on Feb 24, 2012 2:50 PM EST up reply actions  

/draft reinstated

//DoD drafts every WR in the country

by Mango Stasi on Feb 24, 2012 2:54 PM EST up reply actions  

We're going to dominate through the air!

I started at 221.6. I'm now 209.6. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast

by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 24, 2012 2:54 PM EST up reply actions  

Wait, wouldn't that be a good thing?

2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."

by MtnEer_in_SC on Feb 24, 2012 3:02 PM EST up reply actions  

NEIN

"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal

by stempke on Feb 24, 2012 3:02 PM EST up reply actions  

Highlights of 2007

I started at 221.6. I'm now 209.6. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast

by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 24, 2012 3:03 PM EST up reply actions  

OH GOD MAKE IT STOP

Author at Acme Packing Company, a Green Bay Packers blog, and Editor at BT Powerhouse, a Big Ten Basketball blog
Yes, I am on twitter. If you have to ask, you're streets behind.

by OBrienSchofieldismyHero on Feb 27, 2012 1:59 AM EST up reply actions  

Craig James thinks beef is barbecue

Shut Up! I must have my EDSBS and my bourbons!!

by Eddie Teach on Feb 24, 2012 2:58 PM EST reply actions   3 recs

Careful Eddie...

The chicken is involved but the pig is committed

by maddraven1716 on Feb 24, 2012 2:59 PM EST up reply actions  

He's a pirate, he doesn't play by the rules

"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal

by stempke on Feb 24, 2012 2:59 PM EST up reply actions  

I do think it's a wonderful touch that he has the actual flag of the real Mr. Teach as his avatar

Seriously folks the “Jolly Roger” is a mostly hollywood contruct, real pirate flags were much more entertaining.

"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal

by stempke on Feb 24, 2012 3:02 PM EST up reply actions  

Not to mention that they essentially pioneered the false flag operation.

My anti-drug is football, because sometimes it is a better hallucinogen than anything you can get at Burning Man. - Spencer Hall 9/28/11

by car.full.of.midgets on Feb 24, 2012 3:06 PM EST up reply actions  

A Hollywood construct? A General History of the Pyrates scoffs at that idea...

This is a woodcut illustration from the 1725 edition of the book. The pyrate featured is Stede Bonnet, who was hung at White Point Gardens here in beautiful old Charleston. Notice his flag in the background, and yes they did call it the Jolly Roger.

2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."

by MtnEer_in_SC on Feb 24, 2012 3:18 PM EST up reply actions  

Yes, Stede Bonnet flew the Jolly Roger and he only flew it to signal to the other ship that he was giving no quarter

One pirate. Not all of them, and certainly not all the time. It would be pretty stupid to fly a flag that signalled “I’M A PIRATE”

"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal

by stempke on Feb 24, 2012 3:22 PM EST up reply actions  

Ooooh I know this one! I know this one!

Would you say it’s the same thing as walking around in the day time walking around in pre-modern Japan wearing a black, close fitting outfit, cowl over your face, and sword strapped to your back, signalling “HEY, NINJA OVER HERE! I’M A NINJA”?

I started at 221.6. I'm now 209.6. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast

by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 24, 2012 3:26 PM EST up reply actions  

Yeah, me too....

2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."

by MtnEer_in_SC on Feb 24, 2012 3:47 PM EST up reply actions  

I love the actual back story from where the "ninja" look came from

It’s from the theater. In the days before sets could be mechanized, people had become used to ignoring the people wearing all black and moving stuff around during plays. They knew those people weren’t supposed to be part of the story so they kind of blocked them out. So when a couple of playwrights want to emphasize how stealthy the ninjas were, they would have one of the “set people” suddenly jump out, attack a character, and flee back to the shadows. The look stuck.

"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal

by stempke on Feb 24, 2012 3:38 PM EST up reply actions  

Pretty much exactly.

Also, just because someone is dressed like that, it’s not necessarily a “ninja”. Thieves are represented the same way in theater and art. It’s simply a “you don’t see me” look.

I started at 221.6. I'm now 209.6. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast

by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 24, 2012 4:36 PM EST up reply actions  

There were also variations on the theme....

Crossed cutlasses instead of bones. And in most old pirate movies I remember, the pirates didn’t run up the Jolly Roger until they were in cannon range.

2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."

by MtnEer_in_SC on Feb 24, 2012 3:28 PM EST up reply actions  

Right, the skull imagery has been around forever.

It was a way to say “we’re here to take everything you have, if you try to run, so just give up now” and almost every ship, privateer or pirate alike had somehting that signaled that. But the way you see it now every pirate had the same flag and they flew it proudly.

"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal

by stempke on Feb 24, 2012 3:35 PM EST up reply actions  

And piracy was much much more complicated than "YAAAAR RUM GOLD AND WENCHES"

The privateer/pirate thing gets obscured, and that was HUGE part of the history.

Twitter
Currently .01. This goes away when I'm .17.

by emc503 on Feb 24, 2012 3:49 PM EST up reply actions  

many were state sponsored

EDSBS's finest fifteen year old
Chicagoland's 3,607,832nd finest resident

by dudebrabroman on Feb 24, 2012 3:50 PM EST up reply actions  

Privateers were a big part of England's attempt to diminish Spanish power

And for the most part, it worked. Boats full of silver got knocked over.

Twitter
Currently .01. This goes away when I'm .17.

by emc503 on Feb 24, 2012 3:58 PM EST up reply actions  

And landless men got knighted.

2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."

by MtnEer_in_SC on Feb 24, 2012 3:58 PM EST up reply actions  

pirates invented free agency

Shut Up! I must have my EDSBS and my bourbons!!

by Eddie Teach on Feb 24, 2012 4:07 PM EST up reply actions  

Should have gone to Lubbock.

I started at 221.6. I'm now 209.6. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast

by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 24, 2012 4:37 PM EST up reply actions  

Aye, lad, that they did.

2012 Orange Bowl Champs: "I haven’t seen a Tiger take a beating like that since Elin grabbed her 9-iron."

by MtnEer_in_SC on Feb 24, 2012 4:07 PM EST up reply actions  

x
Craig James supports the euthanizing of horses who have sustained serious injuries. Or minor injuries. Or seem injury-prone. Basically Craig James will kill any horse if you ask him.

Well he already killed 5 horses. Wait. Oh, HOR-SES! I knew a read that wrong! Stupid git.

"Back in Irish's day you had to kill a man before you were taken seriously in polite society." - Aquaman56 06/25/10
If everything I do is wrong, then goddamn, I do it right!

by Samuel_L_Bronkowitz on Feb 24, 2012 3:02 PM EST reply actions   1 recs

Craig James supports a total ban on the importation of Kraken.

If it’s not made right here in the United States of Texas, we don’t need it and we don’t want it.

¡El Hipopótamo!

by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 24, 2012 3:04 PM EST reply actions   1 recs

/rears arm

EDSBS's finest fifteen year old
Chicagoland's 3,607,832nd finest resident

by dudebrabroman on Feb 24, 2012 3:06 PM EST up reply actions  

Craig James writes his tips so the total comes out to a nice round number

So now I have to count out pennies when I’m a giving the waitress her tip.

"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal

by stempke on Feb 24, 2012 3:09 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Hmmm... never thought about that.

I always round.

Play hard or play elsewhere.

by lhb98 on Feb 24, 2012 3:09 PM EST up reply actions  

It's annoying as hell

I understand completely why people do it, it makes balancing their checkbook easier, but I’ll be damned if I don’t feel stupid handing a waitress $5.04

"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal

by stempke on Feb 24, 2012 3:14 PM EST up reply actions  

Somebody is going to have to deal with it-

are you really surprised in this world that most people foist it upon you?

My loyal heart avows no other.

"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax

"[W]e have to keep reminding ourselves over and over: 'This is water, this is water.' "

by MikeLew on Feb 24, 2012 3:16 PM EST up reply actions  

You misunderstand.

I don’t find it surprising at all, quite the contrary, I understand that is a logical, rational action that people undertake to make their lives easier. After all, isn’t that the whole point of going out to eat. I just find it annoying.

"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal

by stempke on Feb 24, 2012 3:19 PM EST up reply actions  

Gotcha-

I’m a bit pissy right now, as all these kids that supposedly WANT to play baseball just started celebrating that we’re not going to be hitting today, because of the weather

My loyal heart avows no other.

"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax

"[W]e have to keep reminding ourselves over and over: 'This is water, this is water.' "

by MikeLew on Feb 24, 2012 3:22 PM EST up reply actions  

This is why I'm pissy

My loyal heart avows no other.

"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax

"[W]e have to keep reminding ourselves over and over: 'This is water, this is water.' "

by MikeLew on Feb 24, 2012 3:23 PM EST up reply actions  

they hate hitting? WUT?

I would cheer for missing fielding practice though.

The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
"If a Sith lord really wanted to mess with people he’d call himself Darth Fruitbasket" - Gabe

by Londonjoe on Feb 24, 2012 3:23 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Only if I was an outfielder

Outfield fielding practice blows dick. Infield practice is fun.

Author and Contributor at Cartilage Free Captain

by Nick Petrilli on Feb 24, 2012 3:24 PM EST up reply actions  

I was a center fielder in high school. so..... waiting to get the occasional ball hit out there was kind of boring

The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
"If a Sith lord really wanted to mess with people he’d call himself Darth Fruitbasket" - Gabe

by Londonjoe on Feb 24, 2012 3:25 PM EST up reply actions  

I played right field

YOU DON’T KNOW MY PAIN CENTER FIELDER

Author and Contributor at Cartilage Free Captain

by Nick Petrilli on Feb 24, 2012 3:26 PM EST up reply actions  

I played catcher

y’all can’t bitch bout shit

EDSBS's finest fifteen year old
Chicagoland's 3,607,832nd finest resident

by dudebrabroman on Feb 24, 2012 3:27 PM EST up reply actions  

It always looked painful to me

The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
"If a Sith lord really wanted to mess with people he’d call himself Darth Fruitbasket" - Gabe

by Londonjoe on Feb 24, 2012 3:28 PM EST up reply actions  

I played catcher in T-ball.

I should have realized then and there that I had no future in beisbol.

by Dr. Norris Camacho on Feb 24, 2012 3:27 PM EST up reply actions  

/sits down and starts poking antpile with a stick

This was common practice among outfielders in my Little League.

by Dr. Norris Camacho on Feb 24, 2012 3:27 PM EST up reply actions  

or you play a team with a lefty with opposite field power

The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
"If a Sith lord really wanted to mess with people he’d call himself Darth Fruitbasket" - Gabe

by Londonjoe on Feb 24, 2012 3:32 PM EST up reply actions  

/left handed batter suddenly comes up to bat

//strikes out
///start staring at chick with the tube top in the stands

Author and Contributor at Cartilage Free Captain

by Nick Petrilli on Feb 24, 2012 3:31 PM EST up reply actions  

I know this one.

The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
"If a Sith lord really wanted to mess with people he’d call himself Darth Fruitbasket" - Gabe

by Londonjoe on Feb 24, 2012 3:31 PM EST up reply actions  

this was the only reason I played baseball

then lacrosse showed up, then track…. track wins

EDSBS's finest fifteen year old
Chicagoland's 3,607,832nd finest resident

by dudebrabroman on Feb 24, 2012 3:32 PM EST up reply actions  

you're 15. there's no third season sport worth playing other than baseball.

get out there.

The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
"If a Sith lord really wanted to mess with people he’d call himself Darth Fruitbasket" - Gabe

by Londonjoe on Feb 24, 2012 3:34 PM EST up reply actions  

Track blows

Unless you’re in a field event.

Author and Contributor at Cartilage Free Captain

by Nick Petrilli on Feb 24, 2012 3:35 PM EST up reply actions  

shotput ftw

EDSBS's finest fifteen year old
Chicagoland's 3,607,832nd finest resident

by dudebrabroman on Feb 24, 2012 3:35 PM EST up reply actions  

/makes necklace out of flowers

//attempts to build sand castle out of Alabama red dirt
///fails

Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy

Sometimes I tweet

by allicolls on Feb 24, 2012 3:32 PM EST up reply actions  

You were on my sister's soccer team?

Keeper would count blades of grass in the goal box. Granted, her team was pretty good so she was bored.

by SEC Supremacist on Feb 24, 2012 3:34 PM EST up reply actions  

I played softball for 4 years and quit just before we figured out I needed glasses.

I was te-he-he-he-herrible.

Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy

Sometimes I tweet

by allicolls on Feb 24, 2012 3:35 PM EST up reply actions  

soccer and track on lines on and two

volleyball on 3.

EDSBS's finest fifteen year old
Chicagoland's 3,607,832nd finest resident

by dudebrabroman on Feb 24, 2012 3:37 PM EST up reply actions  

Soccer - No

Track – Fuck no
Volleyball – Decent argument.

Author and Contributor at Cartilage Free Captain

by Nick Petrilli on Feb 24, 2012 3:38 PM EST up reply actions  

eh.... soccer and lax in college

softball in high school. softball players in college… rarely.

The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
"If a Sith lord really wanted to mess with people he’d call himself Darth Fruitbasket" - Gabe

by Londonjoe on Feb 24, 2012 3:39 PM EST up reply actions  

Wat?

Volleyball, swimming.

Play hard or play elsewhere.

by lhb98 on Feb 24, 2012 3:39 PM EST up reply actions  

swimmers get big shoulders

The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
"If a Sith lord really wanted to mess with people he’d call himself Darth Fruitbasket" - Gabe

by Londonjoe on Feb 24, 2012 3:40 PM EST up reply actions  

nope. they look like dudes.

The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
"If a Sith lord really wanted to mess with people he’d call himself Darth Fruitbasket" - Gabe

by Londonjoe on Feb 24, 2012 3:43 PM EST up reply actions  

yeah this

The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
"If a Sith lord really wanted to mess with people he’d call himself Darth Fruitbasket" - Gabe

by Londonjoe on Feb 24, 2012 3:45 PM EST up reply actions  

would have thought the opposite

EDSBS's finest fifteen year old
Chicagoland's 3,607,832nd finest resident

by dudebrabroman on Feb 24, 2012 3:41 PM EST up reply actions  

Nope- they shave right before their big events

My loyal heart avows no other.

"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax

"[W]e have to keep reminding ourselves over and over: 'This is water, this is water.' "

by MikeLew on Feb 24, 2012 3:42 PM EST up reply actions  

/Chases butterfly

We also had a kid put his glove down and run off the field to use the bathroom. Twice. And he was one of our best players.

Twittering for no good reason.

by ElRocco337 on Feb 24, 2012 3:33 PM EST up reply actions  

They would occasionally keep hitting them out there so they could watch me do ridiculous things

like shag one at the fence and then catch the next ball at the infield

The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
"If a Sith lord really wanted to mess with people he’d call himself Darth Fruitbasket" - Gabe

by Londonjoe on Feb 24, 2012 3:27 PM EST up reply actions  

mind you they wait until I threw back to the infield before hitting the next ball

The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
"If a Sith lord really wanted to mess with people he’d call himself Darth Fruitbasket" - Gabe

by Londonjoe on Feb 24, 2012 3:29 PM EST up reply actions  

They cheer any missing of practice.

Never mind that today is only hitting, and our first game is Wednesday.

My loyal heart avows no other.

"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax

"[W]e have to keep reminding ourselves over and over: 'This is water, this is water.' "

by MikeLew on Feb 24, 2012 3:25 PM EST up reply actions  

make em run

The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
"If a Sith lord really wanted to mess with people he’d call himself Darth Fruitbasket" - Gabe

by Londonjoe on Feb 24, 2012 3:26 PM EST up reply actions  

Dude

Wind sprints in the gym, now.

Author and Contributor at Cartilage Free Captain

by Nick Petrilli on Feb 24, 2012 3:26 PM EST up reply actions  

Gym is in use, else I would.

Also, I’m not the head coach- he is currently taking advice on what to do because one of our kids who plays a bunch of spots going to be gone from the tournament.

OUR HEAD COACH IS A FUCKING MORON, JUST TELL THEM WHAT TO DO

My loyal heart avows no other.

"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax

"[W]e have to keep reminding ourselves over and over: 'This is water, this is water.' "

by MikeLew on Feb 24, 2012 3:32 PM EST up reply actions  

my coach just made us run in the rain if we had to cancel.

The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
"If a Sith lord really wanted to mess with people he’d call himself Darth Fruitbasket" - Gabe

by Londonjoe on Feb 24, 2012 3:33 PM EST up reply actions  

screw wind sprints, get cruel

add some push ups/sit ups in there, then a distance run, then wind sprints.

EDSBS's finest fifteen year old
Chicagoland's 3,607,832nd finest resident

by dudebrabroman on Feb 24, 2012 3:33 PM EST up reply actions  

college weight coach used to make us do this

three man teams.
- One person sits and one end of the football field doing weighted v ups.
- One person runs the full field at full speed.
- one person at the other end does a “plank” or pushups.

When the runner reaches the end of the field, he trades with the person doing the exercise.

The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
"If a Sith lord really wanted to mess with people he’d call himself Darth Fruitbasket" - Gabe

by Londonjoe on Feb 24, 2012 3:36 PM EST up reply actions  

we've done things similar

EDSBS's finest fifteen year old
Chicagoland's 3,607,832nd finest resident

by dudebrabroman on Feb 24, 2012 3:36 PM EST up reply actions  

Lightning siren means we're not allowed to take them outside.

My loyal heart avows no other.

"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax

"[W]e have to keep reminding ourselves over and over: 'This is water, this is water.' "

by MikeLew on Feb 24, 2012 3:35 PM EST up reply actions  

Fucking kids these days.

Once on a long XC training run, we got lightning within 100yds. That made everyone speed up.

by Erik T on Feb 24, 2012 3:35 PM EST up reply actions  

This came up earlier, but avoiding lawsuits

My loyal heart avows no other.

"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax

"[W]e have to keep reminding ourselves over and over: 'This is water, this is water.' "

by MikeLew on Feb 24, 2012 3:36 PM EST up reply actions  

The only team that did that in my school was the volleyball team

Probably the reason why the boys and girls volleyball teams were our most successful school teams.

Author and Contributor at Cartilage Free Captain

by Nick Petrilli on Feb 24, 2012 3:36 PM EST up reply actions  

Same for equestrian.

I hate that building.

Chairwoman of the "Blood Is Thicker Than Tuition Money" Committee for Fan Bigamy

Sometimes I tweet

by allicolls on Feb 24, 2012 3:39 PM EST up reply actions  

stairs can cause stupid injuries.

The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
"If a Sith lord really wanted to mess with people he’d call himself Darth Fruitbasket" - Gabe

by Londonjoe on Feb 24, 2012 3:39 PM EST up reply actions  

Such as?

Serious question, aside from the obvious falling..

by SEC Supremacist on Feb 24, 2012 3:41 PM EST up reply actions  

falling, and pulling stuff in my experience.

EDSBS's finest fifteen year old
Chicagoland's 3,607,832nd finest resident

by dudebrabroman on Feb 24, 2012 3:43 PM EST up reply actions  

knee shit in my experience. but yes, falling

The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
"If a Sith lord really wanted to mess with people he’d call himself Darth Fruitbasket" - Gabe

by Londonjoe on Feb 24, 2012 3:43 PM EST up reply actions  

I still run stadiums

but see comment above. stupid injuries means some schools have gone away from stairs

The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
"If a Sith lord really wanted to mess with people he’d call himself Darth Fruitbasket" - Gabe

by Londonjoe on Feb 24, 2012 3:40 PM EST up reply actions  

'friad not

I did have a soccer coach whose preseason conditioning (before school) was preceeded with the advice: “don’t eat breakfast before you come, you’ll puke it up.”

To the tweetmobile!

by MechE Hokie on Feb 24, 2012 4:01 PM EST up reply actions  

Craig James opposes the Sun Beast

Doesn’t even have suspenders ranked anywhere in his top 25. Laughs at MAUAJI and Steve. Only comes to EDSBS for the political discourse. And thinks that SUNSPHERE is a false god.

by Uga in DC on Feb 24, 2012 3:06 PM EST reply actions   1 recs

craig james thinks that this is the year clemson puts it all together

EDSBS's finest fifteen year old
Chicagoland's 3,607,832nd finest resident

by dudebrabroman on Feb 24, 2012 3:06 PM EST reply actions  

He respects Clemson too much for that.

I started at 221.6. I'm now 209.6. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast

by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 24, 2012 3:08 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Craig James mentored Ray Goff.

That should fix it, no?

My anti-drug is football, because sometimes it is a better hallucinogen than anything you can get at Burning Man. - Spencer Hall 9/28/11

by car.full.of.midgets on Feb 24, 2012 3:17 PM EST up reply actions  

Ray Goff owns many Zaxby's

In spite of their ads, these should have been around for longer, Ray Goff should have been fired earlier

by ItsComplicated on Feb 24, 2012 3:18 PM EST up reply actions  

fuck yes

EDSBS's finest fifteen year old
Chicagoland's 3,607,832nd finest resident

by dudebrabroman on Feb 24, 2012 3:15 PM EST up reply actions  

Wait, are you... Joe Schad?

"Shabbat Shalom motherfuckers" Mordechai Jefferson Carver
לכאלה הולכים שבאה

by 8gooner8 on Feb 24, 2012 3:23 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

CJ drinks authentic Killian's.

I started at 221.6. I'm now 209.6. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast

by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 24, 2012 3:21 PM EST up reply actions  

Hey Now

There is at least 2 or 3 real Irishmen in Golden Colorado, I swear it.

by AlbieUte on Feb 24, 2012 3:37 PM EST up reply actions  

Craig James keeps Chick-Fil-A closed on Sunday and prevents Tim Horton's from expanding further south

My anti-drug is football, because sometimes it is a better hallucinogen than anything you can get at Burning Man. - Spencer Hall 9/28/11

by car.full.of.midgets on Feb 24, 2012 3:20 PM EST reply actions  

Guess I've been lucky in my limited number of visits,

but I usually make it a point to hit them up if I venture far enough north.

My anti-drug is football, because sometimes it is a better hallucinogen than anything you can get at Burning Man. - Spencer Hall 9/28/11

by car.full.of.midgets on Feb 24, 2012 3:25 PM EST up reply actions  

Can't speak to their coffee

but the donuts…

It’s a crime against humanity that their only Virginia location is behind the gates at Naval Base Norfolk.

That Hokie freshman in the Greensboro Coliseum rafters didn't see any of this coming.

by JoshCVT on Feb 24, 2012 5:14 PM EST up reply actions  

It's also the basis for the donut shop in Wayne's World

themoreyouknow.jpg

My anti-drug is football, because sometimes it is a better hallucinogen than anything you can get at Burning Man. - Spencer Hall 9/28/11

by car.full.of.midgets on Feb 24, 2012 3:33 PM EST up reply actions  

canadian

Shut Up! I must have my EDSBS and my bourbons!!

by Eddie Teach on Feb 24, 2012 3:23 PM EST up reply actions  

And won't let In-and-Out expand east.

Whattaburger doesn’t want the competition.

Dude, I like Katy Perry and watch "Glee." I’m pretty much a lost fucking cause.

by Queen Hoka-Hotty-Toddy on Feb 24, 2012 3:22 PM EST up reply actions  

in and out, animal style fries are so good

EDSBS's finest fifteen year old
Chicagoland's 3,607,832nd finest resident

by dudebrabroman on Feb 24, 2012 3:23 PM EST up reply actions  

Seriously.

They have Tim Horton’s in Kandahar, for crying out loud.

I started at 221.6. I'm now 209.6. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast

by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 24, 2012 3:23 PM EST up reply actions  

well, the canadians did send troops

Shut Up! I must have my EDSBS and my bourbons!!

by Eddie Teach on Feb 24, 2012 3:25 PM EST up reply actions  

So we need Canada to invade, and we'll get Tim Horton's?

Worth it.

I started at 221.6. I'm now 209.6. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast

by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 24, 2012 3:27 PM EST up reply actions  

I will cede michigan for this, and maybe kotd

EDSBS's finest fifteen year old
Chicagoland's 3,607,832nd finest resident

by dudebrabroman on Feb 24, 2012 3:27 PM EST up reply actions  

I, for one, welcome our new Canuck overlords.

My anti-drug is football, because sometimes it is a better hallucinogen than anything you can get at Burning Man. - Spencer Hall 9/28/11

by car.full.of.midgets on Feb 24, 2012 3:28 PM EST up reply actions  

So Duke is having it's annual Library Rave tonight. Theme is Comic books.

There’s a disturbing amount of Liefeld up.

The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
"If a Sith lord really wanted to mess with people he’d call himself Darth Fruitbasket" - Gabe

by Londonjoe on Feb 24, 2012 3:21 PM EST reply actions  

All the cyborgs and oversized guns?

My anti-drug is football, because sometimes it is a better hallucinogen than anything you can get at Burning Man. - Spencer Hall 9/28/11

by car.full.of.midgets on Feb 24, 2012 3:22 PM EST up reply actions  

Yup. and some Frank Miller era full size Batman mannequins

The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
"If a Sith lord really wanted to mess with people he’d call himself Darth Fruitbasket" - Gabe

by Londonjoe on Feb 24, 2012 3:23 PM EST up reply actions  

Would totally appropriate one for my own.

My anti-drug is football, because sometimes it is a better hallucinogen than anything you can get at Burning Man. - Spencer Hall 9/28/11

by car.full.of.midgets on Feb 24, 2012 3:30 PM EST up reply actions  

we'll see around 3 in the morning. one of the roommates might have a surprise staring him right in the eye when he opens his bedroom door

The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
"If a Sith lord really wanted to mess with people he’d call himself Darth Fruitbasket" - Gabe

by Londonjoe on Feb 24, 2012 3:31 PM EST up reply actions  

I may have done something similar using a Hellboy promotional display...

My anti-drug is football, because sometimes it is a better hallucinogen than anything you can get at Burning Man. - Spencer Hall 9/28/11

by car.full.of.midgets on Feb 24, 2012 3:35 PM EST up reply actions  

Liefeld's take on the human form

is unique, to say the least.

Unless you’re into tiny feet and impossibly curvy spines.

"Every time you go to that cook-off you get drunk as a poet on payday!"

by DrewRusse on Feb 24, 2012 3:37 PM EST up reply actions  

The NFF blocked the image for me.

What title is it from?

My anti-drug is football, because sometimes it is a better hallucinogen than anything you can get at Burning Man. - Spencer Hall 9/28/11

by car.full.of.midgets on Feb 24, 2012 3:39 PM EST up reply actions  

It's the one of Captain America

where his torso (from back to chest) is about 5x as thick as his head

"Every time you go to that cook-off you get drunk as a poet on payday!"

by DrewRusse on Feb 24, 2012 3:43 PM EST up reply actions  

Also turned weirdly.

Not to be all internet-high-and-mighty, but it’s an appallingly bad portrayal of a human-like creature.

by Erik T on Feb 24, 2012 3:45 PM EST up reply actions  

Yeah, his panels were often counter-examples

in my brother’s Drawing Human Anatomy class at SCAD.

My anti-drug is football, because sometimes it is a better hallucinogen than anything you can get at Burning Man. - Spencer Hall 9/28/11

by car.full.of.midgets on Feb 24, 2012 3:47 PM EST up reply actions  

Liefeld is gawdawful

Never figured out why he got so popular. I’ve got New Mutants #98, which has the first appearance of Deadpool (among others), and his art in that issue is terrible. He got even worse later.

Electric dog-polisher, that was a good one. Gasoline-powered turtleneck sweater. Then, of course, I bought some dumb stuff too....

by Burrito Electrico on Feb 24, 2012 4:28 PM EST up reply actions  

And mittens for hands

Dude cannot draw hands, has no idea how the human body works, loves to put extra pockets on stuff and somehow became the highest paid comic book writer in the land.

"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal

by stempke on Feb 24, 2012 3:40 PM EST up reply actions  

Craig James thinks Randy Jackson is the most insightful judge on Idol.

Dude, I like Katy Perry and watch "Glee." I’m pretty much a lost fucking cause.

by Queen Hoka-Hotty-Toddy on Feb 24, 2012 3:22 PM EST reply actions  

OT -- just got finished making some shippers for a bunch of crab boil.

my sinuses are the clearest theyve been in a while.

BTW, any of you guys ever used Rex seasonings? are they worth (ahem) disappearing to my house?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
GTHTSUN
"Bicycle is new poverty mule. " - Spencer Prokhorov

by CoastalCowbell on Feb 24, 2012 3:41 PM EST reply actions  

Quite the opposite.

Craig James goes out and watches all the Oscar-nominated movies because he thinks it will make himseem more sophisticated.

by Dr. Norris Camacho on Feb 24, 2012 3:44 PM EST up reply actions  

I thought the James family was afraid

of spending two hours in an air conditioned, silent dark place?

by tron1013 on Feb 24, 2012 3:46 PM EST up reply actions   4 recs

Craig James was one of those that demanded a refund because "The Artist" didn't have any talking in it.

Being an Ole Miss football fan prepared me for the inevitable disappointment yet blind loyalty required to be a "Glee" fan. And liquor helps.

by Queen Hoka-Hotty-Toddy on Feb 24, 2012 8:52 PM EST up reply actions  

The fucking Arctic Circle gets all the attention

Stupid polar bears

"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal

by stempke on Feb 24, 2012 4:00 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

They are big and strong up front

but I don’t think they’ve got the depth to make it through the season.

by SEC Supremacist on Feb 24, 2012 4:02 PM EST up reply actions  

Well all, I'm off to work

One of you please make sure Mango gets cleaned up and doesn’t smell like Michigan before you put him to bed.

"Less complaining. More sexy rumpus" ~ The Oatmeal

by stempke on Feb 24, 2012 4:04 PM EST reply actions  

Craig James thinks he made it to the Final Four after the first hooker stopped breathing..

"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."

by mnHorn on Feb 24, 2012 4:17 PM EST up reply actions   2 recs

Update on the bourbon protein shake

Do not add bourbon before you stir the protein powder, else the powder will clumb together and not mix, and a mouthful of delicious milkbourbonmilk is spoiled by globs of dry stinky protein.

Old South, New Twitter

Sposed to be SEC

by Old South on Feb 24, 2012 4:13 PM EST reply actions  

#Rememberthefive

Texas
Baylor
Alabama
Houston
Texas

If we were making a hooker joke, it would be better if they had lost to Mizzou.

If you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

The Twitters, I haz them.

by Illusions, Michael. on Feb 24, 2012 4:57 PM EST up reply actions   2 recs

Craig James thinks that Ross Perot Jr. was the greatest owner

Not just in Mavericks history, but in all of Dallas sports history.

Electric dog-polisher, that was a good one. Gasoline-powered turtleneck sweater. Then, of course, I bought some dumb stuff too....

by Burrito Electrico on Feb 24, 2012 4:18 PM EST reply actions   1 recs

craig james loves silvio berluscioni

EDSBS's finest fifteen year old
Chicagoland's 3,607,832nd finest resident

by dudebrabroman on Feb 24, 2012 4:20 PM EST reply actions  

HEY!? who doesn't?

The twitter
Anfield Asylum, sbnation's very own open zoo for the most dangerous game: Liverpool fans
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- Coach Adun
"The greatest sin is to spurn the gift"- Coach Alistair
"If a Sith lord really wanted to mess with people he’d call himself Darth Fruitbasket" - Gabe

by Londonjoe on Feb 24, 2012 4:21 PM EST up reply actions  

fair enough

EDSBS's finest fifteen year old
Chicagoland's 3,607,832nd finest resident

by dudebrabroman on Feb 24, 2012 4:21 PM EST up reply actions  

Craig James doesn't use his four-ways if he stops in the middle of the road.

"Every time you go to that cook-off you get drunk as a poet on payday!"

by DrewRusse on Feb 24, 2012 4:25 PM EST reply actions  

That's just one splash of water applied to both face and taint at the same time.

Because they’re so close to each other, you don’t need two splashes.

A sassy, brassy, classy lassy.

by LoneStarHoosier on Feb 24, 2012 4:32 PM EST reply actions  

So did its author.

"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."

by mnHorn on Feb 24, 2012 4:43 PM EST up reply actions  

Yeah.

Just didn’t scare the pants off me like the original did.

by SEC Supremacist on Feb 24, 2012 4:45 PM EST up reply actions  

Kokomo?

I started at 221.6. I'm now 209.6. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast

by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 24, 2012 4:47 PM EST up reply actions  

Indy. Sort of the first or second level of Hell.

Kokomo is firmly in the Malebolge.

A sassy, brassy, classy lassy.

by LoneStarHoosier on Feb 24, 2012 4:53 PM EST up reply actions  

Yeah I gues--

/stops at stop light

I started at 221.6. I'm now 209.6. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast

by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 24, 2012 4:57 PM EST up reply actions   2 recs

/passes Steak'n'Shake

//passes another Steak’n’Shake

A sassy, brassy, classy lassy.

by LoneStarHoosier on Feb 24, 2012 4:58 PM EST up reply actions  

all the ranch?

ALL THE RANCH!

In the name of the Woody, the Bo, and the Mustache Ride. Amen.

by Pariahwulfen on Feb 24, 2012 4:59 PM EST up reply actions  

Well, to be fair

crossing the road is too much work for most Indianans, so they gotta put one on each side.

I started at 221.6. I'm now 209.6. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast

by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 24, 2012 5:00 PM EST up reply actions  

To be fair, you'd be an idiot to try and cross US 31 on foot.

The town is just not designed for pedestrians or bicycles. Whether that is a reflection of the sedentary nature of its people or vice versa is a question the health department and INDOT should really look into.

Of course, the punchline of all this is the major public works plan in the making that will re-route US 31 around Kokomo rather than through the city, relieving the traffic problem, but also probably killing all of those businesses or relocating them to a somehow even less appealing strip around the edges of the town. Fucking idiots.

A sassy, brassy, classy lassy.

by LoneStarHoosier on Feb 24, 2012 5:08 PM EST up reply actions  

Oh, you and your seriousness.

/ranch joke

I started at 221.6. I'm now 209.6. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast

by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 24, 2012 5:11 PM EST up reply actions  

Oh, Indiana.

HOW DO I SOCIETY?

¡El Hipopótamo!

by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 24, 2012 5:12 PM EST up reply actions  

And the Britney Spears version of I Love Rock 'N' Roll

Electric dog-polisher, that was a good one. Gasoline-powered turtleneck sweater. Then, of course, I bought some dumb stuff too....

by Burrito Electrico on Feb 24, 2012 4:49 PM EST up reply actions  

And Madonna's version of "American Pie."

Being an Ole Miss football fan prepared me for the inevitable disappointment yet blind loyalty required to be a "Glee" fan. And liquor helps.

by Queen Hoka-Hotty-Toddy on Feb 24, 2012 8:54 PM EST up reply actions  

GET PAID, SON

But seriously, thats awesome! Congrats

Twitter
Currently .01. This goes away when I'm .17.

by emc503 on Feb 24, 2012 4:52 PM EST up reply actions  

I don't want to get my hopes up,

but my cover letter looks really good.

My research has yielded the discovery of three separate medieval manuscripts previously unknown to the special collections librarian. I have determined that one manuscript leaf is from a incunabula sheet from Paris, one a leaf from a French breviary, and two leaves from Justinian’s Law Code, copied in the fourteenth century. I have digitized materials for the library with the Bookeye 3A1 digital scanner, including the Nuremburg Chronicle and documents belonging to Rutherford B. Hayes.

If you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

The Twitters, I haz them.

by Illusions, Michael. on Feb 24, 2012 4:53 PM EST up reply actions  

Sounds impressive.

Looks good to me.

"I’ll tell you one thing: The grass at Tiger Stadium tastes best."
"Woeojuwejhdjwe"
"We made a couple special teams Fu Pas...Fu Pas. F-U-P-A. Okay. Fu Pa. Maybe an 'H.'"

by LesMilesEatsGrass on Feb 24, 2012 4:53 PM EST up reply actions  

Nice

I started at 221.6. I'm now 209.6. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast

by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 24, 2012 4:56 PM EST up reply actions   2 recs

woooo good luck!

Those who stay will be champions.

by willbechampions on Feb 24, 2012 5:02 PM EST up reply actions  

OOOO! Here in DC, which branch of the LoC?

I know a few peeps over there

"Kentucky (adj.) Fitting exactly and satisfyingly; The last book which exactly fills a bookshelf is said to fit 'real nice and kentucky'" -Douglas Adams, The Meaning of Liff
"Got a word for it in the states; Spell it N-E-R-D-S" -MC Frontalot

by Cap Town Cat on Feb 24, 2012 5:14 PM EST up reply actions  

Hopefully

Not the Library of Congress bookmobile.

"If it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen out there." -- Captain Ron

by An 'eer with a beer on Feb 24, 2012 5:17 PM EST via Android app up reply actions  

in DC, yessir

applied to Rare Books and Special Collections, Poetry, and Manuscript Collections Processing.

If you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

The Twitters, I haz them.

by Illusions, Michael. on Feb 24, 2012 5:18 PM EST up reply actions  

That sounds fun

"Kentucky (adj.) Fitting exactly and satisfyingly; The last book which exactly fills a bookshelf is said to fit 'real nice and kentucky'" -Douglas Adams, The Meaning of Liff
"Got a word for it in the states; Spell it N-E-R-D-S" -MC Frontalot

by Cap Town Cat on Feb 24, 2012 5:20 PM EST up reply actions  

I'm out in 2 minutes

But that’s my regular time.

Electric dog-polisher, that was a good one. Gasoline-powered turtleneck sweater. Then, of course, I bought some dumb stuff too....

by Burrito Electrico on Feb 24, 2012 4:57 PM EST up reply actions  

900+ posts and it's almost 5 eastern

yeah people are checking out atm, should pick back up in a couple hours though

In the name of the Woody, the Bo, and the Mustache Ride. Amen.

by Pariahwulfen on Feb 24, 2012 4:58 PM EST up reply actions  

Justified marathon tonight.

If you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

The Twitters, I haz them.

by Illusions, Michael. on Feb 24, 2012 5:00 PM EST up reply actions  

Bleh, don't say marathon

I just did 3 miles and feel like a slug.

I started at 221.6. I'm now 209.6. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast

by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 24, 2012 5:01 PM EST up reply actions  

I did a 5K last night, rested today

Going to attempt a 6 miler tomorrow for the first time ever. Will probably freeze to death.

Twitter
Currently .01. This goes away when I'm .17.

by emc503 on Feb 24, 2012 5:04 PM EST up reply actions  

Wait, is my math all wrong? I did 6.4km. That's 3 milesish, yes? Dang it I hate math.

I started at 221.6. I'm now 209.6. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast

by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 24, 2012 5:06 PM EST up reply actions  

Dangit, almost 4 miles.

I feel better about myself now.

I started at 221.6. I'm now 209.6. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast

by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 24, 2012 5:06 PM EST up reply actions  

Yep, I caught it.

as I said, I feel better now. A few more days, and I’ll start bumping up the time increments to get me to 10k.

I started at 221.6. I'm now 209.6. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast

by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 24, 2012 5:10 PM EST up reply actions  

Right, so I'll probably end up doing a 10K tomorrow if all goes well

Considering my ass has never run that far before, it’s an accomplishment

Twitter
Currently .01. This goes away when I'm .17.

by emc503 on Feb 24, 2012 5:17 PM EST up reply actions  

Once upon a time I ran the perfect 10k

Not time-wise, but effort-wise. My feet were as Hermes’s, my breath like a zephyr. I floated like a butterfly stung by no bee. It was a numinous moment.

Once. Never again. But what a moment that was.

"If it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen out there." -- Captain Ron

by An 'eer with a beer on Feb 24, 2012 5:26 PM EST via Android app up reply actions   1 recs

I rec this just because I know how it feels

"Shabbat Shalom motherfuckers" Mordechai Jefferson Carver
לכאלה הולכים שבאה

by 8gooner8 on Feb 24, 2012 6:15 PM EST up reply actions  

Amen.

"If it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen out there." -- Captain Ron

by An 'eer with a beer on Feb 24, 2012 6:42 PM EST up reply actions  

It IS an accomplishment, especially if you've never done it before.

But once you set a standard, you feel bad when you aren’t achieving it. A year and change ago, 10ks were my daily run. I was SUPPOSED to run the Honolulu Marathon this past December. 6k is nice, but it seems like such a long way back to 10km in 50 min right now…

I started at 221.6. I'm now 209.6. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast

by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 24, 2012 5:39 PM EST up reply actions  

Oh, definitely.

I’m right there with you…running consistently is tough, and it’s awesome that you’re (very obviously) getting into good shape. If I push, I’m trying for a sub 45 10K, and maybe even as fast as 42 or 40 if I really go hard.

Twitter
Currently .01. This goes away when I'm .17.

by emc503 on Feb 24, 2012 5:43 PM EST up reply actions  

I feel so lazy....

EDSBS's finest fifteen year old
Chicagoland's 3,607,832nd finest resident

by dudebrabroman on Feb 24, 2012 5:44 PM EST up reply actions  

You're 15

You burn more calories just standing around than we oldsters do in a week.

"If it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen out there." -- Captain Ron

by An 'eer with a beer on Feb 24, 2012 5:52 PM EST via Android app up reply actions  

Troof.

I started at 221.6. I'm now 209.6. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast

by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 24, 2012 6:06 PM EST up reply actions  

15?

Damn, I was still an only child at that point.

In the name of the Woody, the Bo, and the Mustache Ride. Amen.

by Pariahwulfen on Feb 24, 2012 6:07 PM EST up reply actions  

but I almost certainly eat more

EDSBS's finest fifteen year old
Chicagoland's 3,607,832nd finest resident

by dudebrabroman on Feb 24, 2012 6:12 PM EST up reply actions  

I was eating whole large pizzas plus breadsticks at your age

and couldn’t break 150. Now, I eat salad and tofu scramble, and can’t get under 205.

I started at 221.6. I'm now 209.6. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast

by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 24, 2012 6:16 PM EST up reply actions  

I'm pushing 190 now, but yeah youth metabolism ftw

EDSBS's finest fifteen year old
Chicagoland's 3,607,832nd finest resident

by dudebrabroman on Feb 24, 2012 6:17 PM EST up reply actions  

15 and 190? I hope you're tall

"Shabbat Shalom motherfuckers" Mordechai Jefferson Carver
לכאלה הולכים שבאה

by 8gooner8 on Feb 24, 2012 6:24 PM EST up reply actions  

Read that aloud.

How does it sound?

"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."

by mnHorn on Feb 24, 2012 6:26 PM EST up reply actions  

*for your sake

"Shabbat Shalom motherfuckers" Mordechai Jefferson Carver
לכאלה הולכים שבאה

by 8gooner8 on Feb 24, 2012 6:28 PM EST up reply actions  

40 or 42 is awesome. 50 is the best I've ever done.

The only time I really care about is the first 2 miles, for obvious reasons. When in shape, I (feel like I) can run forever at a comfortable pace, so that’s what I focus on. I’m nowhere near good shape yet. Getting under 205 will be nice, but under 200 will be a milestone. For me, that’s where the focus is. If I can get down to 190…look out ladies!

(because IE will be shooting you all, you see)

I started at 221.6. I'm now 209.6. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast

by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 24, 2012 5:50 PM EST up reply actions  

What channel is that on?

Haven’t seen it.
/looks for something to hide behind

by SEC Supremacist on Feb 24, 2012 5:04 PM EST up reply actions  

we'll be watching it on the interwebz.

If you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

The Twitters, I haz them.

by Illusions, Michael. on Feb 24, 2012 5:13 PM EST up reply actions  

(and I just began last night)

If you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

The Twitters, I haz them.

by Illusions, Michael. on Feb 24, 2012 5:13 PM EST up reply actions  

Maybe moved threads to the other James-related fanshot

I think this thread is reserved for the “Craig James…” lines.

I'm a wreck loose in society.

by Narrow Right on Feb 24, 2012 5:03 PM EST up reply actions  

I'm stuck here, tooth removal/exposure is fun

nothing but painkillers and icecream all day.

EDSBS's finest fifteen year old
Chicagoland's 3,607,832nd finest resident

by dudebrabroman on Feb 24, 2012 5:38 PM EST up reply actions  

Craig James believes that beer is a lifestyle choice.

I believe that it is the correct choice right now, because it’s Beer O’Clock

by Mango Stasi on Feb 24, 2012 5:59 PM EST reply actions  

What the hell is up

with my phone app? It’s insisting I post before giving me new posts.

"If it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen out there." -- Captain Ron

by An 'eer with a beer on Feb 24, 2012 5:59 PM EST via Android app reply actions  

Why does the Firefox browser

for android suck so badly on my phone? It seizes it up instantly.

"If it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen out there." -- Captain Ron

by An 'eer with a beer on Feb 24, 2012 6:02 PM EST via Android app reply actions  

Use Dolphin Mini, or Chrome Beta if you have Ice Cream Sandwich.

"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."

by mnHorn on Feb 24, 2012 6:05 PM EST up reply actions  

I'm on 3.1

whichever version that is.

"If it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen out there." -- Captain Ron

by An 'eer with a beer on Feb 24, 2012 6:06 PM EST via Android app up reply actions  

Check out

this browser.

Firefox was incredibly disappointing.

"I used to think all Jesus did was walk on water and tell people not to get abortions, but now I see he’s so much more than that. He’s like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined."

by mnHorn on Feb 24, 2012 6:10 PM EST up reply actions  

Will give that one a try

Thanks!

"If it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen out there." -- Captain Ron

by An 'eer with a beer on Feb 24, 2012 6:44 PM EST up reply actions  

Am I missing where we at?

Did I miss a fanshot or something?

I started at 221.6. I'm now 209.6. This will stay in my sig line until I am 190. Keep reminding me of this.
The Japanese History Podcast

by Kelly's Gyros on Feb 24, 2012 6:08 PM EST reply actions  

nope

no escape thread yet

In the name of the Woody, the Bo, and the Mustache Ride. Amen.

by Pariahwulfen on Feb 24, 2012 6:08 PM EST up reply actions  

You know what

I made an overflow thread since it’s getting so big in here

In the name of the Woody, the Bo, and the Mustache Ride. Amen.

by Pariahwulfen on Feb 24, 2012 6:14 PM EST up reply actions  

why can't I see new comments?

EDSBS's finest fifteen year old
Chicagoland's 3,607,832nd finest resident

by dudebrabroman on Feb 24, 2012 6:30 PM EST up reply actions  

okay.

my roommates and I adopted the stray cat. it’s patrolling its new territory.

If you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

The Twitters, I haz them.

by Illusions, Michael. on Feb 24, 2012 6:14 PM EST reply actions  

Who had five weeks in the pool?

Come on down and collect your winnings

My loyal heart avows no other.

"While you may not give a shit, @mlebowski313 is an unstoppable force of nature [at Words With Friends]" -T-Jax

"[W]e have to keep reminding ourselves over and over: 'This is water, this is water.' "

by MikeLew on Feb 24, 2012 6:19 PM EST up reply actions  

we named it Bobbi.

very chill bro.

If you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

The Twitters, I haz them.

by Illusions, Michael. on Feb 24, 2012 6:31 PM EST up reply actions  

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