We'll wait until Fearless Leader's return to score this one officially, but we haven't seen a kidnapping charge turn up in the Fulmer Cup since the hallowed days of Ellis T. Jones and the award that bears his name, so here's Oregon State, bringing some decidedly un-Oregonian un-chillitude to your Monday with news of defensive tackle Castro Masaniai's weekend antics. The charges include "second-degree kidnapping, coercion, disorderly conduct, harassment and criminal mischief," and the pull quote, as ever, is a charming one:

Police responding to the call of an assault in progress say the player tried to force his girlfriend from the McDonald's, which resulted in the kidnapping charge.

We almost feel like deducting a bonus point from this one because of the decidedly un-spicy nature of the "kidnapping" (nobody even ended up in a car trunk? Ellis T. Jones disapproves, sirrah), but will leave it up to the boss scorekeeper to suss out all points. If you are of an Oregon State bent (or an Oregon bent) and would like to commiserate with (or point and laugh at, or high-five) some Beaver brethren, there's a thread up at Building the Dam.