CURIOUS INDEX, 3/4/2011

NCAA PROBES MAN, IS KICKED OUT OF BYU FOR THE CLEAR VIOLATION OF HONOR CODE. Ha-ha, double entendre!

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WHY'D YOU DO THAT TO THAT NICE MAN WHO HELPS DUCKS DUCKS DO SO MUCH FOR US AND WORK FOR THE FASHION POLICE FOR FREE.

Yahoo and ESPN had to go bang-bang yesterday with their respective stories on the NCAA's investigation of Wllie Lyles, a man who served as a herder of recruits for Oregon and other schools including Auburn, Baylor, LSU, Oklahoma State, USC and Texas A&M.  Lyles received $25,000 for his services, paid for free and clear by Oregon to the service in an act that is, for the moment, completely okay by NCAA bylaws. The NCAA is not Lache Seastrunk's mom, who has a different understanding of amateur athletic jurisprudence. 

"Willie said he was a trainer," Evelyn Seastrunk said. "Now Oregon says he's a scout? Is he on Oregon's payroll? If Willie Lyles collected $25,000 off my son he needs to be held accountable. The NCAA must find out for me. I don't know how to digest someone cashing in on my son."

As far as whether this is going to be trouble for any of these schools: that seems unlikely since the funneling of cash to recruiting "services" (however vaguely defined those are by title and organization) remains fair practice. By the way, "funneling" makes it sound so much dirtier, and that is precisely why we used that word. What will likely happening is a rewriting of the rules surrounding recruiting services and censure/banishment of Lyles, who while technically not doing anything wrong here is certainly living too close to Sketchtown for the NCAA's comfort level. 

(Oh, and we wrote about this exact loophole last week because WE HAVE POWERS.)

SUMMARIZED IN ONE JANKED-UP SENTENCE. Teenager tells the truth, teenager backtracks when told the truth is inconvenient, teen vows to only tweet random shit like WEST AFRICA because no one is really interested in that save for jeering bloggers.

AARON MURRAY HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR. Wonders never cease.

"My leg got amputated last weekend, so I’ve only got one leg," Murray said sarcastically. "I’ve got to steal one to play the season with."

He's winking at all you crusty old former Red and Black-ers who perpetually bemoan the degraded state of the paper, y'all. 

REALLY, MATH IS UNFAIR, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE BAD AT IT. Dave Wannstedt says his track record regarding player conduct is misunderstood, and that's funny because like CNNSI's writers who put the piece together in the first place he doesn't understand basic statistics, either. (But you already knew this.)

FULMER CUP NOTE. We see this, and it will be included in the next update with a bonus point for police chase achievement unlocked, Washington Husky fans.

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