THE CURIOUS INDEX, 9/24/2010

THE ONLY COUNTRY SONG TO APPEAR ON THIS BLOG RECORDED AFTER 1985 

The Index is up even later than usual, but that's due to some pre-trip preparations for the trip to Baton Rouge for WVU/LSU. Kevlar, ammo, spicy cajun butter, and a stack of hundreds doesn't just pile itself into a duffel bag all by itself, you know. 

ROOTABILITY IS UP GO READ IT OR WE'LL BURN YOUR MOTHER DOWN. Featuring open calls for the worship of chaos this week, i.e. the justification to go to Baton Rouge and watch WVU/LSU. 

HEY LOOK PITT IS HORRIBLE. Once upon a time you might have remembered Pitt as a Walt Harris team whose offensive line's long debacling came to a head in the Fiesta Bowl against Utah, after which Pitt fans screamed "Basta!" and hired Dave Wannstedt, who then came to PItt, spent five long years recruiting, and last night ended up with an offensive line that looked a lot like...a Walt Harris team. NFL AIDS affects everyone, especially those whose offensive line can't block the bland play-calling from the offensive staff, thus relegating you to hopeless long field goal tries and long minutes spent excavating your quarterback from the deep hole the opposing defense puts him in on every play. In short: Pitt is a bad, bad football team right now and you can't blame Dion Lewis since it's hard to run anywhere when you get hammered a nanosecond after the handoff. 

(Addendum: dislocated knees look like they suuuuuuuck.) 

BECAUSE MICHIGAN FOOTBALL STANDS FOR SOMETHING MORE PURE, MORE ABSTRACT, SOMETHING LESS WEDDED TO THE ALMIGHTY DOLLAR--WAIT IS THAT JERRY JONES WAGGLING HIS CASH-PEEN AT US OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. Hey, look, Michigan and Alabama will be playing at the JerryDome--for poetry and beauty only, mind you. 

MAN YOU NEED TO LAY OFF SABAN HE'S JUST TRYING TO SOLVE THE DOCTORS SHORTAGE IN ALABAMA. Really, Wall Street Journal, when will you finally lay off Nick Saban and his bold efforts to give medical scholarships to those who would needlessly squander their valuable intellects playing football? 12 of 25 medical scholarships approved by the NCAA since 2007 may have gone to Alabama, but are you aware of the shortage of physicians in rural areas of Alabama? Of course not, you elitist liberal Yankees, but we've come to expect such sneering insensitivity from y'all. If you need Nick Saban, he'll be on the golf course since yes, he does not have time for this shit. 

(Shhhhhhhhh. We know damn well what they are, but take a communications strategy and run with it when it's handed to you, since there's really no actual counterargument in favor of the practice.) 

OH SHIT RUN THEIR SHIRTS ARE BLACK AGAIN. Pelini cracked out the blackshirts, which means you all die now. We for two welcome our new blackshirted overlords. 

OH SHIT RUN IT'S THE MAC. And they're better statistically than one might think in a number of ways, especially in the "number of games lost to D-1AA programs," something that has become fashionable enough this year after the MAC championed it long ahead of the slavish masses. 

SPEAKING OF NUMBERS: Mike Bobo has the rare "reverse play-action play-action pass" on lock, son: 21 of 25 passes called under center were play-action passes against Arkansas last week for Georgia. 

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