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FULMER CUPDATE: GEORGIA'S EALEY CONTROLS THE ENDGAME WITH THE (HIT AND) RUN

The gag began with Knowshon Moreno, the UGA running back who left following the 2009 season only to be supplanted in part by Washaun Ealey, whose first name simply had to have some connection to Knowshon's. It was an echo of the name, but also a sign that for all eternity children destined to be UGA running backs would have this suffix added to their birth name automatically.

Like Tibetans searching for a new Panchen Lama, future Bulldog coaches would search the elementary school rosters searching for them until they found one. Possible names on the search list included, but were not limited to: 

 

  • Steveshaun
  • Shon-Shon
  • Johnshon
  • Brahshon
  • Akshon
  • Chipshon
  • Herschshon
  • Brownianmoshon 
The other similarity led us to Mario Kart. All things lead to Mario Kart eventually, but this particular one stemmed from thinking of Wa-shaun as the evil, mustachioed version of Know-shon, a kind of Wario to Moreno's Mario. It makes little sense, and writing that out makes it look even more absurd. It didn't stop us from running with it every time we saw Ealey, though, or from yelling out to ourselves Wario's trademark "I'M A-GONNA WIN" every time he got the ball. 

As it turns out, the completely nonsensical tic makes sense, since Ealey drives just like his Nintendo namesake. 

 

washaungonnawin.jpg

The UGA running back, scheduled to back up/share reps with Caleb King this fall, took a red shell in the side of his yellow (favorite color of Wario) Impala and hit a car in a parking lot in Athens. He then left the scene, but was later interviewed in his dorm room after the license number taken down by witnessed matched his. Ealey then admitted he had hit the car and left the scene while also driving on a suspended license. 

The suspended license charge and hit-and-run are both misdemeanors, and thus a point each. A single bonus point will be awarded for repeat offense by Georgia, taking the total to three points and all but sealing the 2010 Fulmer Cup race for the University of Georgia. Barring open rioting at Minnesota or East Carolina, the number one party school in the nation will reflect their vivacious nightlife in the Fulmer Cup standings, too. The Dawgs have done this the old-fashioned way: by stumbling tipsily into the arms of a willing and overly officious local police force.  

It works every time. YOU'RE A GONNA WIN, GEORGIA. 

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To anyone in the Athens area:

10,000 drinks if you can find Richt out in public, sneak up behind him, and dump a cooler of Gatorade over his head. With only a few seconds on the clock, I think it’s safe now.

Nick Saban is my BFF

by cowcollege on Aug 27, 2010 12:23 PM EDT reply actions  

Tell that to Guy Morriss

Team Speed Kills -- SBNation's SEC Blog
If you're so inclined, follow me @Year2

by Year2 on Aug 27, 2010 12:26 PM EDT up reply actions  

Take up a collection

Please provide video proof and I am in.

A futile crusade to prevent mass ignorance

HammerAndRails, SBNation's Boilermaker Blog

by BoilerTMill on Aug 27, 2010 1:58 PM EDT up reply actions  

I can't wait 'til they do that,

so that then the entire LSU defense can go rob a dude and then steal his car, racking up the proverbial ‘Hail Mary’ of Fulmer Cups, a la the 2002 “Bluegrass Miracle”.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bluegrass_Miracle

by LilBroey700 on Aug 27, 2010 2:31 PM EDT up reply actions  

Re: I can't wait 'til they do that,

Too tough to decide:

A) “It will probably result from Orson calling an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty on AJ Green for high-fiving somebody within a week of clinching the Cup, which infuriates some girl from the ‘party-in-the-uga’ video causing her to drive right into the waiting pack of LSU defenders”

B) “Yeah, I’m sure this will happen but Les Miles will likely call the cops Wed night to talk it out and the actually won’t happen until after the season starts Thursday night.”

by Girls' Generation Groupie on Aug 27, 2010 3:55 PM EDT up reply actions  

Brownianmoshon

ha-ha Chemistry / physics joke to test your geekiness!
And I pass!!

"I like the taste of danger most of all." - Jonatha Brooke

by MtnEer_in_SC on Aug 27, 2010 12:28 PM EDT reply actions  

All we do is

The orientation video for next year will be some rendition to this song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGXzlRoNtHU

by DawgShark on Aug 27, 2010 12:28 PM EDT reply actions  

Just curious...

Is there an actual physical trophy for the Fulmer Cup? And if so, when and where will the press conference be to present the trophy?

¡Viva La Revolución!

by ecuamerican on Aug 27, 2010 12:29 PM EDT reply actions  

From this week's Blotter

Hit and Stay
A man accused of hitting his neighbor’s car in an apartment complex parking lot initially claimed they were both victims of a hit and run. “Gosh, how do two cars get hit in one night in the same parking lot?” Officers were able to match the damage and issued a ticket. Joking, the suspect said it wasn’t a hit and run but a “hit and stay.”

Charleston City Paper

"I like the taste of danger most of all." - Jonatha Brooke

by MtnEer_in_SC on Aug 27, 2010 12:31 PM EDT reply actions  

But

did Washaun execute the power turn well?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Brian Kelly says no commercial interruption.

by Ancient Chinese Secret on Aug 27, 2010 12:31 PM EDT reply actions  

I blame that stupid squid

it’s impossible not to hit something when your screen is covered in ink

by pastymick on Aug 27, 2010 12:58 PM EDT up reply actions  

I would hope he wasn't trying to drive his friends car ....

with a Wii Remote. That thing is a bitch. At least that would explain things.

"THE DAY I CAN'T GET YOU GUYS TO GET IT RIGHT I'M GONNA GO TO THE LAKE SIT ON THE DOCKS AND WATCH THE DUCKS Sh*t IN THE YARD!"

by mrpelicanpants on Aug 27, 2010 1:05 PM EDT up reply actions  

Ahem

Barring open rioting at Minnesota or East Carolina

The integrity of the Cup is undermined when open challenges are issued.

by Counter Trap on Aug 27, 2010 12:39 PM EDT reply actions   1 recs

Eye don’t know how to gouge this one.

-B. Spikes

by ESS EEE SEE Speed on Aug 27, 2010 12:41 PM EDT reply actions  

Other RB's considered

Included the stand-out from Lisa Lisa High….

Lostinemoshon

by PalmettoTiger on Aug 27, 2010 1:00 PM EDT reply actions   2 recs

Future Heisman winner

Positracshon – incredible ability to make would-be tacklers miss

Nick Saban is my BFF

by cowcollege on Aug 27, 2010 1:07 PM EDT up reply actions  

And then there's Lubricashon

Tacklers can’t hold onto him

Nick Saban is my BFF

by cowcollege on Aug 27, 2010 1:11 PM EDT up reply actions  

newest member of the Georgia family?

Depreshon…(this would be funnier if Adam Sandlers Cajun Boy was doing the intro)

"THE DAY I CAN'T GET YOU GUYS TO GET IT RIGHT I'M GONNA GO TO THE LAKE SIT ON THE DOCKS AND WATCH THE DUCKS Sh*t IN THE YARD!"

by mrpelicanpants on Aug 27, 2010 1:38 PM EDT up reply actions   2 recs

Nowayshon
or
Knowayshon

"It’s not Disneyland, people. Get the hell out of the way." NYC Firefighter

by jokastrength on Aug 27, 2010 1:40 PM EDT up reply actions  

Imagine all these names being said by this guy:

"THE DAY I CAN'T GET YOU GUYS TO GET IT RIGHT I'M GONNA GO TO THE LAKE SIT ON THE DOCKS AND WATCH THE DUCKS Sh*t IN THE YARD!"

by mrpelicanpants on Aug 27, 2010 1:47 PM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

How did you know?

Intuishon.

Brian Kelly says no commercial interruption.

by Ancient Chinese Secret on Aug 27, 2010 1:55 PM EDT up reply actions   2 recs

I hear that..

Ed Umacashon may not qualify academically.

by PalmettoTiger on Aug 27, 2010 1:57 PM EDT up reply actions  

His HS teammate Noinhibishon Swhatsoever

should qualify but will likely only play one season before becoming an Ellis T. Jones Awardee and being kicked off the team.

Nick Saban is my BFF

by cowcollege on Aug 27, 2010 2:23 PM EDT up reply actions  

Najeh Davenport...

…was also known as “Defecashon”, and is a close relative to Noinhibishon.

by dmoney350z on Aug 27, 2010 2:30 PM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

Innaglasscaseofemoshon

"THE DAY I CAN'T GET YOU GUYS TO GET IT RIGHT I'M GONNA GO TO THE LAKE SIT ON THE DOCKS AND WATCH THE DUCKS Sh*t IN THE YARD!"

by mrpelicanpants on Aug 27, 2010 1:02 PM EDT reply actions  

Grr, Yoshi

I hate that stupid dinosaur

by Gaknar on Aug 27, 2010 1:13 PM EDT reply actions  

But, but...he wasn't nekkid!

"If you can't copy 'em, don't imitate ''em."
YOGI BERRA

by Famous Duck on Aug 27, 2010 1:15 PM EDT reply actions  

Bradley.

As a Georgia fan, my only recourse towards Swindle is to first remind him that this is at least the second or third time Mark Bradley has ripped him off, and then mention that both he and Mr. Bradley appear to have rectangular heads.

http://blogs.ajc.com/mark-bradley-blog/2010/08/27/another-uga-arrest-all-but-clinches-the-uncoveted-fulmer-cup/?cxntfid=blogs_mark_bradley_blog

by hoente42 on Aug 27, 2010 1:45 PM EDT reply actions  

Question

Would Shonngreeneshon Greene be forced to play for Georgia, or Iowa?

by The Commenter Formerly Known as Not You on Aug 27, 2010 2:14 PM EDT reply actions  

*Ahem*

S-E-C! S-E-C! S-E-C! S-E-C! S-E-C! S-E-C! S-E-C! S-E-C! S-E-C! S-E-C! S-E-C! S-E-C!

(Okay, I’m only typing one line of that.)

Yes, I live in Starkville...WHO did I piss off in a past life?

by Queen Hoka-Hotty-Toddy on Aug 27, 2010 2:17 PM EDT reply actions  

Thank you for your show of conference solidarity.

by NCT on Aug 27, 2010 10:22 PM EDT up reply actions  

Other Cupdate:

Mizery’s starting runningback suspended indefinitely after being accused of sexual assault:

http://www.columbiamissourian.com/stories/2010/08/26/derrick-washington-sexual-assault-missouri-football-gary-pinkel-suspension-order-protection/

Apparently this happened in June, but it looks like it’s just becoming public news now. No charges were filed at the time, but you wonder why he’s just being suspended now if some weren’t about to come down in the near future.

"Got a bill that's big enough to twist the Tiger's tail. Husked some corn and made those SORRY HUSKERS BAIL!"

by KennyGregoryRockThaCradle on Aug 27, 2010 3:17 PM EDT reply actions  

.

There’s still some weird details being worked out on that. It may not be resolved before the season starts, which means no points. Right? Please tell me I’m right.

by Gaknar on Aug 27, 2010 4:19 PM EDT up reply actions  

If he is arrested and charged...

wouldn’t this give mizzou 8 points (4 points for sex assault, 4 bonus points for 4th offense)? And wouldn’t that catapult them to at least a tie for 2d?

Am I missing something?

I know its in the ‘he said/she said’ phase right now and the DA is looking at the accusation..

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.

by Sasquatch Love on Aug 27, 2010 5:37 PM EDT reply actions  

They were sipping the wrong solushon

The new year approaching, click in. Let’s facelift bar! Open the wardrobe is not yet found love after another the right clothes? So, also waiting for? Immediate action bar!

by Old South on Aug 28, 2010 12:28 PM EDT up reply actions  

i lol’d hard

"Sometimes I think it is a great mistake to have matter that can think and feel. It complains so. By the same token, though, I suppose that boulders and mountains and moons could be accused of being a little too phlegmatic."
-Kurt Vonnegut, "The Sirens of Titan"

by Bravely going forward on Aug 27, 2010 7:30 PM EDT reply actions  

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