FULMER CUPDATE: GEORGIA'S EALEY CONTROLS THE ENDGAME WITH THE (HIT AND) RUN

The gag began with Knowshon Moreno, the UGA running back who left following the 2009 season only to be supplanted in part by Washaun Ealey, whose first name simply had to have some connection to Knowshon's. It was an echo of the name, but also a sign that for all eternity children destined to be UGA running backs would have this suffix added to their birth name automatically.

Like Tibetans searching for a new Panchen Lama, future Bulldog coaches would search the elementary school rosters searching for them until they found one. Possible names on the search list included, but were not limited to: 

 

  • Steveshaun
  • Shon-Shon
  • Johnshon
  • Brahshon
  • Akshon
  • Chipshon
  • Herschshon
  • Brownianmoshon 
The other similarity led us to Mario Kart. All things lead to Mario Kart eventually, but this particular one stemmed from thinking of Wa-shaun as the evil, mustachioed version of Know-shon, a kind of Wario to Moreno's Mario. It makes little sense, and writing that out makes it look even more absurd. It didn't stop us from running with it every time we saw Ealey, though, or from yelling out to ourselves Wario's trademark "I'M A-GONNA WIN" every time he got the ball. 

As it turns out, the completely nonsensical tic makes sense, since Ealey drives just like his Nintendo namesake. 

 

washaungonnawin.jpg

The UGA running back, scheduled to back up/share reps with Caleb King this fall, took a red shell in the side of his yellow (favorite color of Wario) Impala and hit a car in a parking lot in Athens. He then left the scene, but was later interviewed in his dorm room after the license number taken down by witnessed matched his. Ealey then admitted he had hit the car and left the scene while also driving on a suspended license. 

The suspended license charge and hit-and-run are both misdemeanors, and thus a point each. A single bonus point will be awarded for repeat offense by Georgia, taking the total to three points and all but sealing the 2010 Fulmer Cup race for the University of Georgia. Barring open rioting at Minnesota or East Carolina, the number one party school in the nation will reflect their vivacious nightlife in the Fulmer Cup standings, too. The Dawgs have done this the old-fashioned way: by stumbling tipsily into the arms of a willing and overly officious local police force.  

It works every time. YOU'RE A GONNA WIN, GEORGIA. 

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