THE CURIOUS INDEX, 8/27/2010
by Spencer Hall on Aug 27, 2010 9:33 AM EDT
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PrintHE'S A-WASHAUN HE'S A WAAAAAGGGHHHH (CRASH) Washaun Ealey was arrested for hit-and-run, proving he's a hard runner between the tackles with little regard for anyone in his way on the field and off. This happened as we were writing this, so details to come. in the meantime, if it holds UGA is going to win the Fulmer Cup (hit and) running away.
MICHIGAN FOOTBALL, SUBTITLED BY BUFFALAX. The guns, fake or real or Airsoft, sitting on the counter at 0:45 or so, aren't so shocking. Plenty of people own guns. Sometimes they just lay them on the table, or the bar, or carry them through airport security, or sometimes accidentally drop them on the floor during meetings. When they accidentally discharge in these situations, apologies and fruitbaskets are customary unless the accidental shooting came during a lengthy meeting with Powerpoint presentations. In that case, just wait for the victim to way "you're welcome" before expiring. It's the only polite thing to do.
If those are real guns in the video, then Michigan is merely being fucking serious about this season, but what's really entertaining about this Michigan countdown video is the Buffalax'd subtitling you can get on the Youtube video, which it's the illiterate that the no that have a with that Korea a this stuff--
ACCORDING TO THE NEW YORK TIMES: The best indicator of Urban Meyer's health and stress maintenance over the next five months will be the presence of actual noticeable assmeat holding up his khakis.
Meyer’s poor health last season could perhaps best be summed up by his sagging shorts. Florida’s strength coach, Mickey Marotti, one of Meyer’s closest friends and confidants, noticed before the SEC title game that Meyer’s khaki shorts drooped further as the week went on. "When he’d walk, his pants would sag halfway down," Marotti said. "He looked like one of our players. He completely lost his entire rear end."
Championships will equal a 250 pound Meyer slamming slices of double meat lover's stuffed crust pizza in his mouth on the sidelines, and the greatest season ever will result in his use of a Lark on the sidelines and subsequent stomach-stapling. Gary Danielson will circle and highlight this as the season goes on, and do not think we are joking here.
UNIVERSITY OF NOVEL COMPOSITIONS. The "Nanny-As Tutor-As-Program-Killing-Evil-Paper-Factory" storyline hasn't been mentioned by anyone but Joe Schad, but the young woman who worked with UNC football players and who may have written papers for them also worked in the Davis household as an "academic coach" for Davis' children. No one has been suspended for any sort of playing time yet, but one should note that Butch Davis' contract allows for him to be fired with no further payment of contract if NCAA violations occur under his watch.
Between this and the Gamecocks' ongoing hotel issues, the NCAA is just going to declare anyone in states containing the name "Carolina" invalid for the 2010 season. East Carolina, you're suspended for two years. Why? BECAUSE THEY SAID SO, THAT'S WHY. It doesn't matter who did what. This is like the French Military: we're just going to shoot everyone as an example.
UNC should have at least three starters available for the game, something LSU offensive coordinator Gary Crowton plans to take advantage of by having Jordan Jefferson run the option while Russell Shepherd passes thirty times. #theyllneverseeitcoming
COME ON DOWN TO THE WHOREHOUSE IT'S NICE. The rage continues, and justifiably so, since the Big Ten is going to mess with a traditional rivalry game of great import in the name of cashing in off a neutral site championship game. Delany says the obvious, since even Ohio State's president supports the plan that will destroy life as you know it in the conference, and thus force the special snowflake WAAAAAANK Big Ten into the big whorehouse of collegiate athletics with the rest of the dumb, filthy, non-gill-having conferences.
Remember: Big Ten fans are different, have gills, and have special emotional demands you can't possibly understand. Despite this, the authorities are moving in, and if you want to see how it ends play through to the end of Red Dead Redemption. The Big Ten is in the whorehouse with every other conference, but let us tell you: it is very, very nice in here, even when they move the furniture around without telling you. Cheerful anarchism remains the only logical approach to emotional survival as a college football fan. Choose misery and tradition, or sail with your hair on fire into the future you don't control anyway.
Now if that doesn't top the "dumbest thing Orson's ever written," we'll just keep going until we exceed the new DERP standard mentioned there. It's important to have goals in life.
HE DIDN'T SAY IT HAD TO BE A GIRL. If you need Ohio State tickets, you know who to call.
ANTHONY ALLEN IS A TECHNICAL GENIUS. The Georgia Tech B-back will just give out advice on Twitter for free, man. So generous of him.
HELLO MISSOURI THIS IS REALLY NOT GOOD. Derrick Washington, Mizzou's leading rusher for the past two years, is being investigated for sexual assault and is suspended.
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I know we're not supposed to talk about round balls here . . .
. . . but I’ve already watched the greedheads who run the ACC ruin the country’s most perfect basketball set up (full home and home round robin with little or no deadweight) in pursuit of a half-empty football title game in Nowheresville. It’s a shame to see the Big ?? head down the same path.
Except
The Big ?? sucks at basketball, so f*ck ‘em. There isn’t a decent hoops rivalry in the Rust Belt outside of Xavier/Cincinnati.
"Got a bill that's big enough to twist the Tiger's tail. Husked some corn and made those SORRY HUSKERS BAIL!"
by KennyGregoryRockThaCradle on Aug 27, 2010 3:36 PM EDT up reply actions
Um....
Michigan State and Purdue are preseason top 3 teams. Michigan State has made consecutive Final Fours, last year doing so without three major players. Ohio State is a consensus top 10 team. Wisconsin defends their home court tougher than the Japanese at Iwo Jima, dominating Duke in Madison last year (I can’t remember what Duke did). Illinois has top 15 potential too.
A futile crusade to prevent mass ignorance
HammerAndRails, SBNation's Boilermaker Blog
The Big 10 has had a member in the Final Four 6 of the last 10 years
Not PSU obviously.
"I'm colonel cool! And I'm the captain on this rocket to the stars!"
Are you some kind of moron?
MSU just joined Duke and UCLA as the only teams ever to make six Final Fours in a 12-year span. Purdue is a consistently solid team who’s had terrible luck with injuries the past couple years. Wisconsin is always criminally underrated in the preseason. Illinois had the misfortune of being the second-best team of the decade the same year that UNC was the best (at least when Sean May was allowed to do his blatantly illegal elbow-elbow-hey-where’d-those-guys-guarding-me-go-DUNK! move). Indiana is a historical powerhouse who made the horrible mistake of hiring Sampson; they’ll recover. And that doesn’t even count two other teams with coaches who have been to the Final Four.
I got to hand it to Tom Izzo
Every four-year scholarship player in his tenure has been to at least one Final Four game.
Let that sink in slowly
"I like the taste of danger most of all." - Jonatha Brooke
by MtnEer_in_SC on Aug 27, 2010 10:22 PM EDT up reply actions
quick second threadjack
Has anyone seen the SEC helmet schedule for this year? I NEED IT!
by SEC Supremacist on Aug 27, 2010 9:46 AM EDT reply actions
BOOOM!
Managing Editor/Chief Lackey-And The Valley Shook THE LSU Tigers Blog of the Week for 52,136 Weeks in a Row and Counting
by PodKATT on Aug 27, 2010 9:47 AM EDT reply actions 3 recs
you dear sir
Are a gentleman and a scholar, even if you are a damn dirty cajun. Tip of the hat, and a cigar to you.
by SEC Supremacist on Aug 27, 2010 9:50 AM EDT up reply actions
Also...
/ right-click
/ “Set As Desktop Background”
by She Blinded Me With Violence on Aug 27, 2010 9:59 AM EDT up reply actions
something i noticed off-hand
Vandy deserves mad props for being the only SEC team to not schedule a 1-AA team (yeah, E Mich is the worst 1-A, but it’s still 1-A)
Also, http://twitter.com/RobbieCaldwell . YES it’s really him, and YES he is dispensing folksy wisdom and youtube country music clips.
Managing Editor/Chief Lackey-And The Valley Shook THE LSU Tigers Blog of the Week for 52,136 Weeks in a Row and Counting
by PodKATT on Aug 27, 2010 10:07 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
credit where it's due
to the twitter account of Anchor of Gold, a damn strong Vandy blog on this here network.
Managing Editor/Chief Lackey-And The Valley Shook THE LSU Tigers Blog of the Week for 52,136 Weeks in a Row and Counting
While I like Robbie Caldwell, I feel he is gonna be playing the part
of sacrificial lamb this year. I will pull for him to make it, but I think the stuffy suits at Vandy look down on him representing the Hahvard of the SEC, and since “its Vandy” and the record really isnt gonna change, I don’t think he will survive til the end of the year.
Vandy should join the Big 10, ya know, for their “standards”.
"THE DAY I CAN'T GET YOU GUYS TO GET IT RIGHT I'M GONNA GO TO THE LAKE SIT ON THE DOCKS AND WATCH THE DUCKS Sh*t IN THE YARD!"
by mrpelicanpants on Aug 27, 2010 10:30 AM EDT up reply actions
YESYES thank you
Brooks and Caldwell realtalk about livin right
by Call Me the Breeze on Aug 27, 2010 10:15 AM EDT up reply actions
I assume his mouse is inside a live turkey
So it’s more familiar to him.
by commodore_dude on Aug 27, 2010 11:00 AM EDT up reply actions
Pretty sure I'll catch hell for this
but I respectfully disagree with the whole OOCS thing regarding SEC teams – especially for the better ones. Why would teams with a shot at the NC want to take chances with OOC opponents whose pelts they don’t need to be 1 or 2 in the BCS (an SEC schedule plus the SECCG will get that done). Tougher schedules of course make for better games (I’d rather watch Bama v PSU than Bama v Presbyterian), but if you want your team to win it all, I’d imagine you’d welcome every cupcake you can get. No?
Because thats how pussies think.
Conference homers are the lowest form of fandom. That is why the SEC has so many of them.
Maybe you're right. UGA should get a worthy opponent to fill in for "big bad" GT
by Cover 0 on Aug 27, 2010 12:34 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
In 1994, if they were going for a national title
they should have.
Since then, its rare when we arent their best OOC opponent.
Conference homers are the lowest form of fandom. That is why the SEC has so many of them.
Or...
It’s a matter of open dates, previously scheduled games, economics, traditional sacrifice for homecoming, effectively last minute changes (Bowling Green from AU to OU in 2004), reclaiming the second bye week that existed with the 11 game schedule and so forth.
The same things also apply to a potential opponents athletic department. It’s not enough to say ‘[SEC School Here] won’t schedule anyone so it’s its own fault." Bah. Other schools face the same constraints and options. I have no doubt that Win/Loss probabilities figure into the equation at some point but too many assign a high value to them than they actually are. Alternately , there’s a PAC-10/11/12 school this year feeding on The Citadel.
Folks ought to be aware of the unfortunate combination of glass atheltic departments and stones.
by PalmettoTiger on Aug 27, 2010 1:25 PM EDT up reply actions
Thanks for reminding me
I forgot to mention that you have to describe what you’re doing as you wash the Hummer. And also mention that it’s the biggest car you’ve ever washed…. repeatedly….yeah…
The 0-9 doesn't kill me; it's the disparity in gameday fashion sense.
by roger_t_shrubber on Aug 27, 2010 9:59 AM EDT reply actions
I find the UNC situation absolutely delightful in the most shallow schadenfreude sort of way
I will admit that I will miss Butch Davis because he’s going to be fired at the end of the season (whether it’s actually called firing or resigning after agreeing to a less than value buyout).
The complete breakdown of the UNC alumni over an academic scandal is priceless. Someone has smudged the bright and shiny star academic university on the hill. Oh dear.
Alec: Chris, did you really buy a $1400 toilet?
Chris: Yeah, it's great. It's Japanese and has those little warm water jets that clean the undercarriage.
Eric: Chris, it's a toilet, you shit in it.
I hate UNC as much as the next guy
Probably more (see user name), but there’s something redeeming about a fan base that still cares about academic integrity.
UNC will gladly sacrifice football
At the altar of academic prestige. But don’t dare start poking around the basketball program, nothing to see here
by Call Me the Breeze on Aug 27, 2010 10:08 AM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Rec'd. Spare the sanctimony.
That 17-year-old Hokie sitting in the Greensboro Coliseum rafters in 1997 didn't see any of this coming.
Play to the end of Red Dead Redemption
So Delany so going to come out of a barn shooting and be gunned down by corrupt Federal Marshals?
A futile crusade to prevent mass ignorance
HammerAndRails, SBNation's Boilermaker Blog
If this all works out the right way, yes.
Because college football is too important to be left to the professionals.
by Spencer Hall on Aug 27, 2010 10:03 AM EDT up reply actions
Now I need some popcorn
This could be sweet to watch, especially here in Big Ten Country
A futile crusade to prevent mass ignorance
HammerAndRails, SBNation's Boilermaker Blog
by BoilerTMill on Aug 27, 2010 10:08 AM EDT up reply actions
You're in Big Ten Country.
You watch your shootings with a big bowl of queso, made with Ro-Tel.
by Abbas_Cincinnatus on Aug 27, 2010 5:12 PM EDT up reply actions
You're right
My mistake. I need my Barbasol and pancakes too.
A futile crusade to prevent mass ignorance
HammerAndRails, SBNation's Boilermaker Blog
by BoilerTMill on Aug 28, 2010 10:23 AM EDT up reply actions
Spoiler tag, bitches
Some of us are on Gamer Savings Time.
by Albino Tornado on Aug 27, 2010 12:20 PM EDT up reply actions
ESPN reports
that Ealey was also charged with driving with a suspended license. Has there been a single player for the Dawgs that has had a valid license in the last 7 years?
by supesk6 on Aug 27, 2010 10:01 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Go ahead, blame the Koreans.
_________________
I'm Banana dammit!!!
by BurritoBrosShits on Aug 27, 2010 10:04 AM EDT reply actions
Saddest of all
Washaun is now down to one balloon.
by Run Home Jack on Aug 27, 2010 10:10 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs
I was wondering the same thing
"I like the taste of danger most of all." - Jonatha Brooke
by MtnEer_in_SC on Aug 27, 2010 10:22 AM EDT up reply actions
It would be refreshingly honest
to see Delaney come out and just say, “We’re moving Michigan-dOSU because FUCK YOU, third-tier minimum donation level season ticket holder, that’s why.”
It won’t happen, of course, since the executive class abhors honesty as much as nature abhors a vacuum, but a boy can always dream. The only thing on which I agree with Brian is this: we’ll be there no matter how filthy the whorehouse gets, because existentially, there’s two whores in the equation: the one who pays and the one who’s gettin’ paid. Most of us here just happen to be the former, that’s all.
"...when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to."
— Martin Luther
The Meyer khaki scale
So far I have the ends of the spectrum:
“Mark Mangino”
and
“Runway Model on Heroin”
As the possibilities for the rungs in between are endless, feel free to add.
/clickclick
I SAID, sit the fuck down and finish your spinach!
Let's hang half a hundred on 'em and enjoy the second half.
by Uncle Earmuffs on Aug 27, 2010 10:15 AM EDT reply actions
Why would you leave the scene of an accident
unless you were drunk?
by Riley Cooper's Mane on Aug 27, 2010 10:18 AM EDT reply actions
Stoned
Let's hang half a hundred on 'em and enjoy the second half.
by Uncle Earmuffs on Aug 27, 2010 10:20 AM EDT up reply actions
Were fleeing Russian agents in a quaint European capital?
"In case you're wondering what the offense should look like, that wasn't it." - Urban Meyer
by cantcatchuf on Aug 27, 2010 10:26 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
man in vehicle not your wife
To distrust Saban is to love him!
It's okay - we've got bleach.
"...when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to."
— Martin Luther
by Go Big Rev on Aug 27, 2010 10:42 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
...only if wife had busted all windows of my Escalade with my putter,doinked me in the head, while still technically not using a golf club
"THE DAY I CAN'T GET YOU GUYS TO GET IT RIGHT I'M GONNA GO TO THE LAKE SIT ON THE DOCKS AND WATCH THE DUCKS Sh*t IN THE YARD!"
by mrpelicanpants on Aug 27, 2010 10:37 AM EDT up reply actions
Oh, my God, they found me, I don't know how, but they found me. Run for it Marty.
Who?
Who do you think? THE LIBYANS!
heh-heh-hee Ms MtnEer was watching that flick just the other night.
"I like the taste of danger most of all." - Jonatha Brooke
by MtnEer_in_SC on Aug 27, 2010 12:03 PM EDT up reply actions
I hate Illnois Nazis!
Sancto Tedford
by Anonymous IV at Mono Lake on Aug 27, 2010 2:20 PM EDT up reply actions
Hot shit, a Kenny Irons reference!
Thank you for making my day by bringing up the best story of all time. 100 cocktails to you.
..or if you were Keith Richards...
http://theselvedgeyard.wordpress.com/2010/08/25/the-rolling-stones-road-worn-forlorn-almighty-guitar-porn/
Best thing about that article:
Keith Richards & his Bentley S3 Continental, called "Blue Lena", which he drove more like a battering ram than a luxury touring car. "He was incredible," a friend commented. "He’d just bounce off everything. He just didn’t care. We’d all be sitting there in the car and everybody would say, ‘Oh, I think we just hit a tree.’"
"THE DAY I CAN'T GET YOU GUYS TO GET IT RIGHT I'M GONNA GO TO THE LAKE SIT ON THE DOCKS AND WATCH THE DUCKS Sh*t IN THE YARD!"
by mrpelicanpants on Aug 27, 2010 10:47 AM EDT up reply actions
...if a cop describes you as "Keith Richards", you are on a whole 'nutha level my friend
"THE DAY I CAN'T GET YOU GUYS TO GET IT RIGHT I'M GONNA GO TO THE LAKE SIT ON THE DOCKS AND WATCH THE DUCKS Sh*t IN THE YARD!"
by mrpelicanpants on Aug 27, 2010 11:13 AM EDT up reply actions
That site has some awesome shit on it! The custom vans?!? Wow. I was born a decade too late (1980).
/immediatelycheckscraigslistforcustomvans
Let's hang half a hundred on 'em and enjoy the second half.
by Uncle Earmuffs on Aug 27, 2010 11:33 AM EDT up reply actions
Dude that site is the BOMB. Style, all cool shit, and Hunter S. Thompson photography
the coolest thing is it has stuff from legendary photographers from the 30’s and so on.
The pics from the Depression and freakin Eastern Kentucky are, well, depressing.
Gives me a diff perspective on what our grandparents and great grandparents had to deal with as far as how they lived, which by most accounts, wasnt on a whole hell of alot.
I wasn’t into B&W photography before this site, but its very powerful if done right. All the old pics I saw from my old family albums were all leathered and not very clear, so this site puts it all in perspective.
"THE DAY I CAN'T GET YOU GUYS TO GET IT RIGHT I'M GONNA GO TO THE LAKE SIT ON THE DOCKS AND WATCH THE DUCKS Sh*t IN THE YARD!"
by mrpelicanpants on Aug 27, 2010 11:51 AM EDT up reply actions
And this post on Andre the Giant is epic....
The photo in the sidebar of Andre the Giant and Wilt Chamberlaiin holding between them is a midget looking Arnold on the set of “Conan”…and the story is about how much Andre could put away on a daily basis. 5 bottles of vodka to get a slight buzz….LOL
http://theselvedgeyard.wordpress.com/2009/07/22/andre-the-giant-proving-size-matters/
"THE DAY I CAN'T GET YOU GUYS TO GET IT RIGHT I'M GONNA GO TO THE LAKE SIT ON THE DOCKS AND WATCH THE DUCKS Sh*t IN THE YARD!"
by mrpelicanpants on Aug 27, 2010 11:54 AM EDT up reply actions
and this....he's my HERO
You won’t find it in the Guinness Book of World Records, but Andre the Giant holds the world record for the largest number of beers consumed in a single sitting. These were standard 12-ounce bottles of beer, nothing fancy, but during a six-hour period Andre drank 119 of them. It was one of the few times Andre got drunk enough to pass out, which he did in a hallway at his hotel. His companions, quite drunk themselves, couldn’t move the big man. Fearing trouble with cops, they stole a piano cover from the lounge and draped it over Andre’s inert form. He slept peacefully until morning, unmolested by anyone. Perhaps the hotel people thought he was a piece of furniture.
Think about it: 119 beers in six hours. That’s a beer every three minutes, non stop. That’s beyond epic. It’s beyond the ken of mortal men. It’s god-like.
"THE DAY I CAN'T GET YOU GUYS TO GET IT RIGHT I'M GONNA GO TO THE LAKE SIT ON THE DOCKS AND WATCH THE DUCKS Sh*t IN THE YARD!"
by mrpelicanpants on Aug 27, 2010 11:59 AM EDT up reply actions
Un-fuckin-believable
I love the part where they commandeered the horse-drawn carriages in Manhattan…Can you imagine seeing that shit!!! Un-fuckin-believable. I fine Amurican, er uh, Frenchie?!? Easily the coolest French dude, ever.
Let's hang half a hundred on 'em and enjoy the second half.
by Uncle Earmuffs on Aug 27, 2010 12:14 PM EDT up reply actions
Don't Give a Fuck
_________________
I'm Banana dammit!!!
by BurritoBrosShits on Aug 27, 2010 11:25 AM EDT up reply actions
Because of a schematic advantage
Sancto Tedford
by Anonymous IV at Mono Lake on Aug 27, 2010 2:21 PM EDT up reply actions
Just don't give a fuck about other human lives
Or, as Mel Kiper would put it, “has a great motor out there.”
Orson, in response to Brian 's "Dumbest thing Orson's ever written" post...
Should have no problem finding dumb things that Brian Cook has written.
I think a nice, gentlemanly Blog Duel is in order, simply by finding and posting other stupid things that the other has written. This could go on forever, since if you think about saying anything negative about “The Big 10” and its “tradition” and a rivalry game that has become irrelevant of late, you will be called stupid, then they will throw up why the Big 10 is superior, even though the evidence on the field shows it is not, they will give excuses like “academic standards” and “key jangling” and “Rich Rodriquez is our coach”.
"THE DAY I CAN'T GET YOU GUYS TO GET IT RIGHT I'M GONNA GO TO THE LAKE SIT ON THE DOCKS AND WATCH THE DUCKS Sh*t IN THE YARD!"
by mrpelicanpants on Aug 27, 2010 10:26 AM EDT reply actions
I believe the Star Trek fight music is called for.
by Counter Trap on Aug 27, 2010 10:27 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
"...when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to."
— Martin Luther
Don't know, man.
Not sure that tops Amok Time—with Lou Holtz as T’Pau.
NOTE: do not google “Spock Kirk” without some specific verbs like “fight.” Egads.
I should not be surprised that there are commenters in Cook’s comments who are trying to decide if there are any other conferences who would something so stupid as to count non-divisional games in the divisional standings.
I'm wrong all the time.
I hope their commentors would like to start a rumble with the EDSBS commentors....
something akin to “Anchorman”..no punches in the face, and breaking of hands are off limits.
Everyone involved has to be drunk.Indoors, on turf. It could escalate quickly. I think ESS-EEE-CEEE speed will prevail.
"THE DAY I CAN'T GET YOU GUYS TO GET IT RIGHT I'M GONNA GO TO THE LAKE SIT ON THE DOCKS AND WATCH THE DUCKS Sh*t IN THE YARD!"
by mrpelicanpants on Aug 27, 2010 10:34 AM EDT up reply actions
I stabbed a guy in the heart with a trident.
by Infield Elephant on Aug 27, 2010 10:36 AM EDT up reply actions
Yeah I saw that
Brick killed a guy
What do we do if somehow Colt McCoy ends up on an NFL team starting against Vince Young?
by inVINCEable on Aug 27, 2010 10:37 AM EDT up reply actions
you can't kill Brian Cook. He's already dead inside from the pain of
“The Game” being moved from its end of the year slot.
"THE DAY I CAN'T GET YOU GUYS TO GET IT RIGHT I'M GONNA GO TO THE LAKE SIT ON THE DOCKS AND WATCH THE DUCKS Sh*t IN THE YARD!"
by mrpelicanpants on Aug 27, 2010 10:39 AM EDT up reply actions
I've been meaning to talk to you about that.
You should find a safe house and lay low for a little while.
by Riley Cooper's Mane on Aug 27, 2010 10:45 AM EDT up reply actions
We think we know what this would look like.
Because college football is too important to be left to the professionals.
by Spencer Hall on Aug 27, 2010 10:41 AM EDT up reply actions
I have to go with the Dwight v. Michael "Office" scene
with the sensi just laughing in the background.
I was trying
to find a video of that.
What do we do if somehow Colt McCoy ends up on an NFL team starting against Vince Young?
by inVINCEable on Aug 27, 2010 11:39 AM EDT up reply actions
HOW IN THE HELL IS THERE A "O" IN COMMENTERS??
"THE DAY I CAN'T GET YOU GUYS TO GET IT RIGHT I'M GONNA GO TO THE LAKE SIT ON THE DOCKS AND WATCH THE DUCKS Sh*t IN THE YARD!"
by mrpelicanpants on Aug 27, 2010 10:51 AM EDT up reply actions
Um
“I should not be surprised that there are commenters in Cook’s comments who are trying to decide if there are any other conferences who would [do] something so stupid as to count non-divisional games in the divisional standings.”
Every conference with divisions counts non-divisional games in its divisional standings.
Except the MAC
In a now-standard display of front-office fucked uppedness, we had a couple of seasons where cross-divisional games didn’t count — and sure enough, we had a division winner one year with an overall conference record worse than the runner up.
This is really simple.
All we Big 10/11/12 tradition junkies want is what the SEC has—not what the ACC has (failed crystal ball to imagine future footbaw competitiveness) or the Big XII-II has (goodbye OU-NU rivalry). The SEC simply made a sensible geographic division, preserved most if not all existing rivalries, and put a big ol’ revenue-generating cherry championship game on top of an already delicious sundae. Big Roy wasn’t so concerned about his precious championship game that he sacrificed, say, the Iron Bowl for it. He trusted the fans to show up. He was right. Why are these lessons so hard to learn?
Exactly
Is it worth making the biggest rivalry in the conference by a wide margin (and, at minimum, on par with the Iron Bowl for biggest in the nation) half as important for the off chance (I’d be surprised if it’s even once a decade) of a second game which might be worth twice as much as the regular season game?
Give Wisconsin fans cheese and they'll be fine.
"Dodger fans aren’t happy when foul balls get into their section, because it interferes with their playing with the beachball"- Mike Krukow
You guys are right...
Tradition is just silly. You know what is important though…
PASSION.
Yeah, passion is tangible. If a team (or conference perhaps) has passionate fans, they are more likely to be successful.
Screw tradition. I’m all about passion.
It’s like, it’s like…religion. Yeah, that’s it. It’s very difficult to quantify or explain. But it’s like a religion. It’s part of our DNA or identity if you will.
Of course, things that happened in the long ago days..the olden times, they have no meaning on present day identity. What is important to me is exactly what is important to everyone else…passion and religion.
It doesn’t matter how many football games the SEC wins. We will always look down on you.
I don't care enough to argue.
Doesn’t affect me in the least. But I read something yesterday that said it was the greatest rivalry in sports and I almost fell out of my chair. It isn’t even the greatest rivalry in THIS sport.
"Be worthy as you run upon this hallowed sod, for you have dared to tread where champions have trod."
by Silver Britches on Aug 27, 2010 11:00 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I agree...
it’s tough to top the annual tilt for the Blue and Gold Wagon Wheel.
It doesn’t matter how many football games the SEC wins. We will always look down on you.
I hate both Michigan and Ohio State
But I’d be hard pressed to find a college football rivalry that is far and away a greater rivalry. When you combine the fact that they have been essentially playing for the conference championship with the pure hatred that exists on both sides, it is indeed a premier rivalry.
Hearing it called the “greatest” would not be surprising in the least, and certainly not “fall out of your chair.” When your arguing that a rivalry is better or worse than the Michigan-Ohio State rivalry, is simply an exercise in regional differences.
As a Big 10 fan, I think ...
it is one the greatest rivalries in sports. And for decades it was the conference championship. If this changes, we’re letting something go. The Big 10 may go on to bigger and better things, but it will be different without THE GAME.
That being said, whenever THE GAME is on, I also root for a 10.0 quake to hit at midfield.
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Aug 27, 2010 11:59 AM EDT up reply actions
And that is why, except for one Saturday a year
I hope for good things for Iowa. They’re just like us… except crazier…. and they do way more meth.
I've said it elsewhere...
Des Moines is the Napa Valley of meth.
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Aug 27, 2010 12:53 PM EDT up reply actions
Rusk County Wisconsin
Is giving them a run for their money, but Des Moines is a crystal lovers paradise
Which one tops the list is a matter of regionalism
But there’s only one that can give it a run for its money, and that’s the Iron Bowl. No other has combined the hate and the magnitude of the stakes (although several have one side or the other).
That might be
One of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen devidee33 write.
/Can’t lie, that’s the only thing I’ve ever seen devidee33 write.
by TheBlackAttack on Aug 27, 2010 11:10 AM EDT up reply actions
We're still talking about this?
by ESS EEE SEE Speed on Aug 27, 2010 11:12 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I'd still hit it....
"THE DAY I CAN'T GET YOU GUYS TO GET IT RIGHT I'M GONNA GO TO THE LAKE SIT ON THE DOCKS AND WATCH THE DUCKS Sh*t IN THE YARD!"
by mrpelicanpants on Aug 27, 2010 12:54 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
MDWM
And, to save ACS and everyone else the trouble:
"...when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to."
— Martin Luther
by Go Big Rev on Aug 27, 2010 11:17 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
The farting boobies really wasn’t ACS’s gag. That was more me and ‘She Blinded Me With Violence’.
"I like the taste of danger most of all." - Jonatha Brooke
by MtnEer_in_SC on Aug 27, 2010 11:56 AM EDT up reply actions
But glad you jumped in there while I was at lunch!
TNX
"I like the taste of danger most of all." - Jonatha Brooke
by MtnEer_in_SC on Aug 27, 2010 11:57 AM EDT up reply actions
You are correct, sir.
But as long as I’m here:
Brian Kelly says no commercial interruption.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Aug 27, 2010 12:26 PM EDT up reply actions
Hey look, I found a new one.
"I like the taste of danger most of all." - Jonatha Brooke
by MtnEer_in_SC on Aug 27, 2010 10:28 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Yay.
It’s back.
/facepalm
"Nice coat! Who shot the couch?"
by CoastalCowbell on Aug 27, 2010 11:39 AM EDT up reply actions
PASSION
PASSION MAKES THE GRASS GROW. PASSION IS THE FUEL TO MY FIRE. PASSION MAKES ME BELIEVE THAT WKU CAN WIN A GAME. PASSION MAKES MY POOP REGULAR. PASSION. /handwankmouthfart /ohthegay /weaksauce /sniffsownfart /wearstweedjacket /wetalkin’boutPASSION /herpdeederpdeePASSION
_________________
I'm Banana dammit!!!
by BurritoBrosShits on Aug 27, 2010 11:47 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
awesome.
"Nice coat! Who shot the couch?"
by CoastalCowbell on Aug 27, 2010 11:53 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
..and money...you cant have religion without money...and if the NCAA
played on Sunday, the NFL would fold.
"THE DAY I CAN'T GET YOU GUYS TO GET IT RIGHT I'M GONNA GO TO THE LAKE SIT ON THE DOCKS AND WATCH THE DUCKS Sh*t IN THE YARD!"
by mrpelicanpants on Aug 27, 2010 12:03 PM EDT up reply actions
Anthony Allen's tweet
His technical advice is all the sweeter because it’s in response to Nicki Meyer, volleyball player at GT and progeny of the Assless One himself.
UGA
has cast away the concept of going out with a whimper. Felony charges show a strong finish. Can’t coach that.
Big 10 is just resistant to change...
The first year an African-American player played in the Big 10: 1910.
The SEC?…1967.
Hey, congrats on all that forward thinking SEC!
It doesn’t matter how many football games the SEC wins. We will always look down on you.
all I know is that our forward thinking SEC teams....
usually run a mudhole through the backwards running Big 10 team when they meet in BCS Championship games…..there is actually photos and scores and proof and everything, totally not making this up, and it looks like there won’t be any changing this anytime soon.
To help you cope with your sense of grief, there are the following steps:
1. Denial-where most Big 10 fans seem stuck at-with any and everything.
2.Anger-again, Big 10 fans seem to be angry when you bring this up.
3.Barganing-Big 10 pays alot of money to other teams to join their crusade in getting enough teams for a Championship game, which, consequently, has a trade off of rescheduling “The Game”, thus starting this process back at step 1, again.
4.Depression- a stage many Big 10 fans feel near the 3rd quarter of the past 2 BCS games, now where many tOSU-UM fans are now that “The Game” has been sold down the river for the sake of “progress”.
5. Acceptance- this is mainly where tOSU/Big 10 fans find them selves in the 4th Qtr of the past 2 BCS games that tOSU played in.
"THE DAY I CAN'T GET YOU GUYS TO GET IT RIGHT I'M GONNA GO TO THE LAKE SIT ON THE DOCKS AND WATCH THE DUCKS Sh*t IN THE YARD!"
by mrpelicanpants on Aug 27, 2010 1:36 PM EDT up reply actions
Right...
because the Big Ten consists of eleven teams all of which are The Ohio State University.
It doesn’t matter how many football games the SEC wins. We will always look down on you.
..well, at least all the DRAMA seems to involve either...
tOSU, and Michigan, their rivalry game, and for the most part, tOSU has been the face of the Big 10 in the age of the BCS. What lies beneath this is while tOSU has been a dominant force in the Big 10, they haven’t had the success in the BCS when faced against inferior competition…and I quote an tOSU fan after the game vs Florida..
“there is no way an inferior Florida team should have been here. We should have never lost 41-14 against a Florida team that barely won their conference and had a loss to Auburn. This game was just biased against Michigan, who we should have played again.” Sure, tOSU and UM arent the Big 10, but they represent the “creme of the crop” of the Big 10, and for some reason, its not translating into Big Wins. Perception is Reality, and so far the Reality is 0-2 in the Championship game.
"THE DAY I CAN'T GET YOU GUYS TO GET IT RIGHT I'M GONNA GO TO THE LAKE SIT ON THE DOCKS AND WATCH THE DUCKS Sh*t IN THE YARD!"
by mrpelicanpants on Aug 27, 2010 2:01 PM EDT up reply actions
"cream" not "creme" "creme de la creme" was in my head, dammit.
"THE DAY I CAN'T GET YOU GUYS TO GET IT RIGHT I'M GONNA GO TO THE LAKE SIT ON THE DOCKS AND WATCH THE DUCKS Sh*t IN THE YARD!"
by mrpelicanpants on Aug 27, 2010 2:04 PM EDT up reply actions
Good points, except...
UM is far from cream of the crop in the Big 10, unless we’ve all suddenly gone back in time 15 years.
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Aug 27, 2010 2:06 PM EDT up reply actions
mainly tOSU.... but going back to 2007, I still dont know how Lloyd lost the App St game
with all the talent that was on that team. I mean “NFL play on Sunday” talent that beat the hell out of Florida, and I think would have beat LSU with Les Miles at the helm, and should have beat the crap outta tOSU that year.
"THE DAY I CAN'T GET YOU GUYS TO GET IT RIGHT I'M GONNA GO TO THE LAKE SIT ON THE DOCKS AND WATCH THE DUCKS Sh*t IN THE YARD!"
by mrpelicanpants on Aug 27, 2010 2:12 PM EDT up reply actions
They lost because...
I suspect they lost because there’s no fire in the program. Go to a UM game and it’s like the Saturday night dance at Bushwood C.C. They’re just zombies right now.
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Aug 27, 2010 2:16 PM EDT up reply actions
I presume you meant to limit your 0-2 comment to SEC/OSU games
2002 and all that.
P.S. Please don’t ever make me defend OSU again.
by masked_avenger on Aug 27, 2010 2:34 PM EDT up reply actions
Ohio State and UM are not the Big 10....
not by a longshot.
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Aug 27, 2010 1:44 PM EDT up reply actions
You sure?
Big Ten Titles:
1st – Michigan – 42 Titles
2nd – Ohio State – 34 Titles
3rd – MINNESOTA with a whopping eighteen
by Vodka and Red BullDawgs on Aug 27, 2010 1:49 PM EDT up reply actions
I know SEC teams root for each other in bowl games ...
but what makes you think the same is true in the Big 10?
OSU getting the rotorooter treatment in title games does not make me feel sad or inferior. I suspect many other non-OSU fans would tell you much the same thing.
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Aug 27, 2010 2:03 PM EDT up reply actions
We know that everyone in the Big 10 doesnt kiss the ring of tOSU...
but many seem to think that if for some reason if a SEC team played in the snow vs any decent Big 10 team, the Big 10 would win the game by 3 TD’s because of the weather.
"THE DAY I CAN'T GET YOU GUYS TO GET IT RIGHT I'M GONNA GO TO THE LAKE SIT ON THE DOCKS AND WATCH THE DUCKS Sh*t IN THE YARD!"
by mrpelicanpants on Aug 27, 2010 2:09 PM EDT up reply actions
It's just a perception thing.
With the rise of the superconferences teams have to protect themselves as much as possible. Big intersectional games are going the way of the T-Rex. And you guys do have a home turf advantage in bowl games. I think that’s where that attitude comes from.
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Aug 27, 2010 2:19 PM EDT up reply actions
Exactly
Except for my above mentioned hawkeye love, I root against Wisconsin’s traditional rivals. I laugh whole heartedly at the pantsing of OSU on a national stage. I take pleasure in the demolition of the Michigan program [mainly because it shuts them up about the continued slide into irrelevance of my Fighting Irish].
The SEC dominance of the Big 10 is really just the SEC dominance of Ohio State, and I’m okay with that. I don’t have the numbers in front of me, but I would venture to guess that rest of the Big 10 is probably around .500 in bowl games against the SEC. Wisconsin, for example, has had no problem coming down to SEC country and giving you guys a game, usually as the underdog.
I’ve been to a couple of Wisconsin bowls in Florida, last years Champ Sports bowl against Miami [Not SEC, I know, but certainly a home field advantage] and the Capital One Bowl against the McFadden led Arkansas team, both Badger wins, both stadiums pretty damn red considering the massive distance from Wisconsin.
Let's face it
Oklahoma and Nebraska were to the Big 8 and Ohio State and Michigan have been to the Big Ten.
Years in which one of those two did not win outright or share the conference championship In the last 50 years:
2001 (Illinois)
1999 (Wisconsin)
1995 (Northwestern)
1994 (Penn State)
1987 (Michigan State)
1985 (Iowa)
1983 (Illinois)
1981 (Iowa)
…
1967 (Purdue, Indiana, Minnesota)
So 80% of the time, either Michigan or Ohio State has won the conference. So I’d say during the modern era, yeah, they’ve been the conference.
All that will change, of course, next year.
by Albino Tornado on Aug 27, 2010 2:39 PM EDT up reply actions
sure because nebraska is awfully impressive.
or their defense was last year, for one game.
When asked why he went for 5, Tate responded "..because I couldn't go for 6...".
http://www.insidetheshoe.com/
by SouthBayBuckeye on Aug 27, 2010 5:40 PM EDT up reply actions
And yet we're 5-1 in the last 6 Cap One Bowls
Why is it everyone conflates “strength of the best team” with “strength of the conference”?
Great job, clicheface
_________________
I'm Banana dammit!!!
by BurritoBrosShits on Aug 27, 2010 3:12 PM EDT up reply actions
USC stripped of 2004 title
I should probably provide a link or something but Im not gonna.
Conference homers are the lowest form of fandom. That is why the SEC has so many of them.
Dear Big 10
Let me assure you that we too use the same thought process as “change no good.. stay same” and it has always led to great success.
Sincerely,
GM and Chrysler Management Teams
Dude look at their geographic footprints
It’s the SAME people on BOTH boards!
"I like the taste of danger most of all." - Jonatha Brooke
by MtnEer_in_SC on Aug 27, 2010 3:51 PM EDT up reply actions
The Big 10..
The Oldsmobile of college football
by bambakophobia on Aug 27, 2010 4:11 PM EDT up reply actions
There's a difference between ...
… “who cares if that’s better, this is the way we’ve always done it” and “that is not an improvement in any way, so why fuck with what works”.
Change can be good or bad, but if there’s no real reason for changing other than “we can”, it’s almost always bad. Moving the Mich-OSU game is change just for the sake of change.
Derrick Washington from Mizzou....sex assault?
so.. right now its being investigated by the DA and is in the ‘he said, she said’ phase.. if he does get charged and arrested, won’t this move Mizzou way up the board?
so.. right now its being investigated by the DA and is in the ‘he said, she said’ phase.. if he does get charged and arrested, won’t this move Mizzou way up the board?By my reckoning (and I’m not an official), Mizz. has 9 points.. they’ll get 4 points for the sex assault + 4 points for being 4th arrest.
so.. right now its being investigated by the DA and is in the ‘he said, she said’ phase.. if he does get charged and arrested, won’t this move Mizzou way up the board?By my reckoning (and I’m not an official), Mizz. has 9 points.. they’ll get 4 points for the sex assault + 4 points for being 4th arrest.Am I missing something? Did I leave any points out?
This would in theory bring them to a tie for 2d place
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
ok.. so that was weird
sorry for the double post within a post.. not sure how that happened
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
is it an H1, H2 or H3 that needs to be washed?
that reminds me of the Aziz Ansari craigslist bit…
“your friend can be there for security…”
When asked why he went for 5, Tate responded "..because I couldn't go for 6...".
http://www.insidetheshoe.com/
by SouthBayBuckeye on Aug 27, 2010 5:39 PM EDT reply actions
These are played out but Hitler is correct...
http://video.yahoo.com/watch/8153883/21627589
It doesn’t matter how many football games the SEC wins. We will always look down on you.
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