BLOGPOLL BALLOT WEEK ONE: CRAP IN 360 DEGREES
WHY AREN'T WEATHERMEN ALWAYS RIGHT HOW COME ECONOMISTS AREN'T ALL RICH HOW ARE PSYCHICS EVER CAUGHT BY SURPRISE? Inevitably, when someone asks you about your preseason poll, they expect things to make sense, which they don't, since the man who invented the thing to begin with admitted it was purely to start conversation around the old scotch cooler. (America used to be so much cooler in many ways.)
This long list of abject guesses is crap, but so is yours, and so is everyone else's. Know that the advantage of having zero loyalty to your preseason poll is the avoidance of stickiness later on, i.e. "Boise's looked like emu shit on a shingle for the past five games, but I had them at three so DURRR POLL LEVITATION." For instance, we don't have Nebraska on there because in many ways last year they were Iowa with a.) a mutant on the defensive line, and b.) a worse offense than the Hawkeyes. Take away mutant, return same shitty offense, and you end up unranked.
(This should be a reminder that Suh had the most dominant season by a defensive player ever last year, and should have won the Heisman if the Heisman meant anything at all to anyone with a brain, conscience, and video recording capabilities. It doesn't, and Suh's lack of stiff-armed trophy is just one more instance of its insane voting calculus.)
Anyway, here it is. Did we make bets simply out of a natural compulsion to gamble out of boredom? YOU BET WE DID. Will we defend them with vigor and little reason? YOU BET WE WILL. Will we stay loyal to these after week one? THEY WILL BE THROWN OVERBOARD WITH THE CHEESES AT THE FIRST CONVENIENCE, SIRS AND MADAMS.
Ballot - Week 1
| Rank | Team | Delta |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Texas Longhorns | -- |
| 2 | Ohio St. Buckeyes | -- |
| 3 | Boise St. Broncos | -- |
| 4 | Alabama Crimson Tide | -- |
| 5 | Oklahoma Sooners | -- |
| 6 | Florida Gators | -- |
| 7 | Virginia Tech Hokies | -- |
| 8 | Washington Huskies | -- |
| 9 | TCU Horned Frogs | -- |
| 10 | Oregon Ducks | -- |
| 11 | Pittsburgh Panthers | -- |
| 12 | Wisconsin Badgers | -- |
| 13 | Georgia Bulldogs | -- |
| 14 | North Carolina Tar Heels | -- |
| 15 | Iowa Hawkeyes | -- |
| 16 | Michigan St. Spartans | -- |
| 17 | Arkansas Razorbacks | -- |
| 18 | Oregon St. Beavers | -- |
| 19 | Miami Hurricanes | -- |
| 20 | West Virginia Mountaineers | -- |
| 21 | Texas A&M Aggies | -- |
| 22 | Houston Cougars | -- |
| 23 | Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets | -- |
| 24 | Cincinnati Bearcats | -- |
| 25 | Florida St. Seminoles | -- |
SB Nation BlogPoll College Football Top 25 Rankings "
WHY TEXAS? Simply because we still don't think Terrelle Pryor is in the right hands offensively, that OSU still holds the distinguished title of Perpetual Football Salutatorian, and because in the coin toss between Oklahoma and Texas we lean towards Muschamp's ability to outscheme Kevin Wilson. You could rearrange the top six in any order and make a compelling case for any of them. This is just this week's insane guess. Ask us next week, and we will have a totally different answer.
WHY NOT [ANY OF THE TEAMS IN THE TOP SIX]? Repeated: any of them can be in any order. If you don't admit this as a voter, you are Skip Bayless, and in a just universe should be beaten with a car. Yes. A full-sized car swung by a Huik-sized being with insane strength.
YOU STAYING BY YOUR INSANE PROMISE TO LIVE EVERY WEEK LIKE IT'S SARK WEEK? Yes, but toned down due to predicted carnage in the Pac-10. USC is not ranked because we lean on the side of not ranking them at all this year. If Blogpoll protocol on the whole decides to rank them, we'll go with it, but for the moment probation and and bowl bannage makes leaving the out easier math for us.
P.S. At least we're not this guy.
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Comments
Got the Dawgs pretty high to start, Commandant.
But I think that’s right about where we’ll finish.
"Be worthy as you run upon this hallowed sod, for you have dared to tread where champions have trod."
by Silver Britches on Aug 23, 2010 9:35 AM EDT reply actions
Alternative title to this highly scientific and reasoned poll:

(Goddamn, that pic’s versatile.)
by She Blinded Me With Violence on Aug 23, 2010 9:36 AM EDT reply actions 8 recs
/handwank /mouthfart /camerondiazface'd
_________________
I'm Banana dammit!!!
by BurritoBrosShits on Aug 23, 2010 9:37 AM EDT reply actions
No Nebraska
Finally someone else understands, they aren’t going to be very good.
Not really sure how A&M is a preseason top 25 team, but then again, I’m not really sure how sometimes I enjoy the smell of my own flatulence either.
They're occupying the Texas Tech Point Whores Slot.
by Spencer Hall on Aug 23, 2010 9:43 AM EDT up reply actions
That's our spot dammit
Of course, running the ball 200 times a game with Tubberville will make it difficult to hold down. Oh well, maybe we can repalce Wisconsin’s spot as the "team in the top 25 because they have a running back averaging 220 yards a game.
by TheBlackAttack on Aug 23, 2010 9:51 AM EDT up reply actions
Heh.

Like Nebraskas offense can perform worse than last year with a dinged up QB, the top 2 RB’s hurt, and some Featherstone-grade WR play.
by Albino Tornado on Aug 23, 2010 11:05 AM EDT up reply actions
Setting the Hokies up for a massive faceplant, are we?
Come on, Orson, that’s just cruel. Like we haven’t learned our lesson about Virginia Tech in big early season games.
/lunchpail
//not even sure what that means
Brian Kelly says no Spicy Sea Nuggets.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Aug 23, 2010 9:49 AM EDT reply actions
I started carrying a lunchpail around with me and, boy, has my life changed for the better.
For instance, I now have a sandwich with me at all times.
by She Blinded Me With Violence on Aug 23, 2010 9:59 AM EDT up reply actions 5 recs
North Carolina
Really just an amped up Iowa/Nebraska. Guess we’ll see if the Kiper-ites can overcome the generic suckiness of Butch Davis’ game management and the sad fact that TJ Yates is the best QB-type object they have.
by Washington Irving on Aug 23, 2010 9:53 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Yates
RS freshman Bryn Renner could be the best QB UNC has had, possibly ever, which honestly is not saying much as current CFL star Darian Durant is holding down that top spot. He’s clearly more gifted than Yates. How soon the ultra-conservative Davis will sit the senior Yates in his favor, though, could determine how far the offense can go. The good news is that with a healthy OL, Yates will have at least more than a half second before he goes into his defensive crouch this season. The one critical inexplicable throw per game to a defensive player three yards away will probably still rear its ugly head.
Honestly I’d gladly take Iowa/Nebraska results this season considering the ten long years in the wilderness following Mack Brown’s departure to Austin.
MICHIGAN STATE FOOTBALL INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Start out 4-0 with a close win over Notre Dame, acquire rankings, accolades, media noise &c.
2. Lose heartbreaker in overtime to Wisconsin.
3. Get destroyed by Illinois, enter tailspin, finish with unholy beatdown at the hands of Penn State.
4. Repeat until coach is fired.
Brian Kelly says no Spicy Sea Nuggets.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Aug 23, 2010 10:00 AM EDT up reply actions
I appreciate the love......
…..but I fear Orson has just doomed the Spartans to a 4-8 season.
Living up to expectations is not our specialty.
What got us here?
The coach who shall not be named got us here, but since he’s off hunting unicorns in the Tunisian rain forest or some shit like that, I’ll happily watch Dantonio’s crew cause heart attacks every week, and look forward to hoops season.
I disagree...
MSU pretty much lives up to my expectations every year.
It doesn’t matter how many football games the SEC wins. We will always look down on you.
by devidee33 on Aug 23, 2010 10:24 AM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
The Philosophy of Michigan State
What is an expectation? If we make expectations with the expectation that they will never be fulfilled, are they not already self-fulfilling? And if the initial expectations are fulfilled, does that mean that the expectation that said expectations would not be fulfilled was not fulfilled?
/ahem
/WOOO FOOTBAW AND BEER AND TITTAYS
Brian Kelly says no Spicy Sea Nuggets.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Aug 23, 2010 10:29 AM EDT up reply actions
I expect the Spartans to be shitty every year.
:expectationfulfilled
It doesn’t matter how many football games the SEC wins. We will always look down on you.
What do you have
against football beer and tittays?
I know they don’t have good football beer or tittays in South Bend, so you have an excuse.
Sparty on. Gator done.
by SpartanGator on Aug 23, 2010 12:16 PM EDT up reply actions
Looking forward to 4-8
Sparty melting down and Stanzi pulling wins out of his ass are the only reasons for me to sit through those Ro-Tel commercials on the BTN.
/thatswhyyouaremichiganstate
by ramblingamblinjohn on Aug 23, 2010 1:39 PM EDT up reply actions
I have a feeling.....
….Stanzi’s magic castle may come tumbling down this year. You can only live on the edge for so long before the law of averages catches up with you.
Best-case scenario, I could see it happening
Worst case? I don’t see any way we get as low as 4-8, we’ve got too much talent on offense and a defense that shouldn’t be completely godawful, and there are at least five games on the schedule that (knock on wood) even we shouldn’t be able to screw up (that doesn’t even count Notre Dame, and even in our disaster years we usually have at least one WTF win).
I went to college with Mr. Giglio
He was a bitch even though his girlfriend was cool. I fought him once. It ended with me headlocking his friend and his friend headlocking my friend and we reached a truce.
The new year approaching, click in. Let’s facelift bar! Open the wardrobe is not yet found love after another the right clothes? So, also waiting for? Immediate action bar!
THIS IS WHY OUR COMMENTERS ARE THE TITS.
by Spencer Hall on Aug 23, 2010 10:17 AM EDT up reply actions
Actually read Giglio's column on Sunday with this poll in it
I spat up my 4pm afternoon oatmeal all over my fine egyptian drapes. Funniest thing I had read in the Charlotte Obsever page outside of Duke wins football game. Hell for the rest of you, here’s the link to it with his reasoning:
http://www.charlotteobserver.com/2010/08/22/1636676/boise-state-not-safe-bet-but-worthy.html
Don't give up, don't ever give up ~ Jim Valvano
Yeah, but..
Who took the girl home?
Those that actually read the NandO for insightful college footbaw analysis should be committed.
by GamecockTony on Aug 23, 2010 10:36 AM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
Rec'd for accuracy.
That 17-year-old Hokie sitting in the Greensboro Coliseum rafters in 1997 didn't see any of this coming.
by JoshCVT on Aug 23, 2010 10:55 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Agreed and rec'd
"I like the taste of danger most of all." - Jonatha Brooke
by MtnEer_in_SC on Aug 23, 2010 2:45 PM EDT up reply actions
THIS POLL IS GARBAGE TO THE EXTENT THAT IT DIFFERS WITH PHIL STEELE
ALL HAIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLL STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLE
The new year approaching, click in. Let’s facelift bar! Open the wardrobe is not yet found love after another the right clothes? So, also waiting for? Immediate action bar!
not bad.
I wouldn’t put Texas at the top, but I don’t know who I would replace them with. Christ on a pogo stick, is it finally Boise’s year?
Glad someone has some sanity about Alabama though. Teams that lose that much defense, have that brutal a schedule and have that big ol’ National Championship target on their backs don’t repeat. Also, Gumps.
Not buying Georgia just yet. Freshman QB and a new defensive scheme looks like early season difficulties to me.
Awww. c'mon girl.
UGA
Fueled by bacon-infused bourbon and no longer at the mercy of Ra the Sun God, Georgia will rise to its rightful place at 3rd in the SEC East.
by Washington Irving on Aug 23, 2010 10:04 AM EDT up reply actions
That’s funny.
But Georgia was third last year.
not drunk, just overserved
by Gen. Stoopnagle on Aug 23, 2010 10:32 AM EDT up reply actions
"Rise"
in the ‘to right hand of the Father’ sense, not the ‘up the standings’ sense.
Richt always adheres to his faith, even in the lexical context.
by Washington Irving on Aug 23, 2010 10:44 AM EDT up reply actions
Given the disarray on Rocky Top,
I would take UGa at third in the East in a heartbeat.
by GwinnettGamecock on Aug 23, 2010 4:26 PM EDT up reply actions
I'm sure you would
’cause when was the last time Sakerilina was ahead of Georgia?
"I like the taste of danger most of all." - Jonatha Brooke
by MtnEer_in_SC on Aug 23, 2010 5:03 PM EDT up reply actions
The Old Ones speak of a time
in the Way Way Back. Ask the Outlander. Perhaps he would know.
by GwinnettGamecock on Aug 23, 2010 11:17 PM EDT up reply actions
This Way Way Back you speak of
It clearly involves Ray Goff. That’s the only legitimate explanation I’ll accept here. Just like South Carolina fans block out the losing streak in the late ‘90s, we’ve blocked out the atrocity that was the Goff years. That dude set our program back 15 years.
http://hobnailboot.wordpress.com/
I wouldn't put Texas at the top
Because of all the schematic changes they want to pull this year. Their best years have been with their zone-based shotgun stuff under Young and McCoy, but due to Gilbert’s lack of running ability and arm-cannon, they’re moving to more traditional stuff. The stuff they did pre-Young/McCoy, with less success.
The new year approaching, click in. Let’s facelift bar! Open the wardrobe is not yet found love after another the right clothes? So, also waiting for? Immediate action bar!
"Is it finally Boise's year?"
It’s not like they’re the Cubs. They’ve been playing D-IA Football for like two months, so let’s hold off on the “Boise deserves it, they’ve waited long enough” talk.
by CanWeBeMature on Aug 23, 2010 10:57 AM EDT up reply actions
It's all about the O line
If Georgia’s offensive line plays as well as they look on paper, the Ginger Ninja could come back and win 10.
Of course, Georgia’ s O line ALWAYS looks good on paper, and then they get a bunch of knee asplode. If that happens, I think Sakerlina whoops ’em, and then they do a Fla, Auburn, Tech fade at the end.
I would say that GT is underrated, because the skill players they have coming back are as talented as the ones that went to the NFL (with the exception of Derrick Morgan). Anthony Allen will probably have more yards than Dwyer did, and Nesbitt appears to be about two steps faster after having the gunk taken out of his ankle this spring. Stephen Hill is D. Thomas minus about 15 pounds. Cooper Taylor is back at safety, and apparently heart surgery makes you bigger and faster. 6-5, 225, and by all accounts the fastest white boy in Georgia.
But there’s no telling how good the three new o line starters will play (although they have mega depth there for once), or how quickly they’ll pick up the new D. And their road schedule is a motorforker. Nine wins vs. 11, just because they have to play at UNC, VT and UGA (although they’re actually gonna win that one, after losing a puzzler to MTSU or NC State).
In the history of college football
Has there been a fanbase that’s gotten more mileage out of a three point win than the GA Tech faithful? It’s as if the previous four decades of complete ownership by UGA in this series has never happened.
http://hobnailboot.wordpress.com/
Try losing to KSU or Missouri once every three decades or so
1. Lose 25 in a row or so
2. Have undersized and overround QB accuse Big Brother’s players of eye gouging and spitting
3. Snap a 30+ game losing streak
4. Run on the field and get dropped by a walkon safety majoring in pre-dentistry
5. Act like you invented football
by Albino Tornado on Aug 23, 2010 11:41 PM EDT up reply actions
But in all seriousness
7 of those 9 sacks in the Big XII championship game where coverage sacks, and towards the end of the year, the Neb offense wasn’t bad, given the incredibly conservative play calling (because of turnovers earlier in the year and Lee’s bad arm). Give Lee a month to rest, open up the play book, make sure the o-line knows its assignments, and you get 30 – 0 drubbing of AZ in the Holiday Bowl.
Nebraska won’t be great, but unranked? Well, that just crazy.
He has a point
other than on top of his head. FWIW both the major polls have the Huskers in the Top Ten.
"I like the taste of danger most of all." - Jonatha Brooke
by MtnEer_in_SC on Aug 23, 2010 5:09 PM EDT up reply actions
33-0 actually.
I don’t expect a NC, but c’mon, we’re at least top 15 especially w/ an O line w/ more than 6 healthy bodies to choose from.
Hadoken!!
I think Pelini deserves a bit more respect
It doesn’t matter how many football games the SEC wins. We will always look down on you.
I can't tell if you're being clever by not including Notre Dame
Am I being baited here, or would it have been baiting non-Domers to include ND? I can’t tell. I need to be told what to think here.
by domer.mq on Aug 23, 2010 10:31 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs
HIRE RON PRINCE
Don't give up, don't ever give up ~ Jim Valvano
by AParker on Aug 23, 2010 10:37 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Who?
Excuse my language, ma'am, but that damn Dodd's gonna beat my butt today. -- Bear Bryant, November 1962
SB Nation Atlanta · The Falcoholic · Blog · Twitter
Colin Cowherd just went on a huge rant this morning complaining about Boise State being ranked in the top 5. His rant reminded me of why he’s a douche and I hardly listen to his show.
"Dodger fans aren’t happy when foul balls get into their section, because it interferes with their playing with the beachball"- Mike Krukow
I hadn't listened to his show in a while
I turned it on today because the local hacks where talking about Triple A baseball.
I had forgotten about how much of an arrogant prick he is.
"Dodger fans aren’t happy when foul balls get into their section, because it interferes with their playing with the beachball"- Mike Krukow
Don't ever do that again
Preferable options include silence, foreign-language radio, or even Kenny Chesney.
http://michiganzone.blogspot.com/2006/03/espns-colin-cowherd-borrows-m-zone.html
I agree that they shouldn’t be ranked in the top 5, but at the same time I also agree that he’s a douche.
by CanWeBeMature on Aug 23, 2010 10:59 AM EDT up reply actions
I'll take Mr. Cowherd's jon on SportsNation for him.
He can go be an arrogant prick. I’ll just drool over Michelle Beadle.
We're all on the Hindenberg. No reason to fight over a window seat.
by Stubob72556 on Aug 23, 2010 11:10 AM EDT up reply actions
Im always torn over watching it
Beadle vs Cowherd. Its a tough call over whether to watch at all.
Conference homers are the lowest form of fandom. That is why the SEC has so many of them.
Believe what you will....
This will be Bamas best defense yet. How in the hell can QB’s complete passes running for their lives and embedded in the grass? I am buying tickets to a few games just so Marcell and/or Sentimore can slide into the coveted “Suh OMG DOMINANT D-LINEMAN” slot for this year. Your lack of faith in the process is disturbing. I have doubted the past 2 seasons that we would be successful. I was right on the 2008 season and suprised at the 2009 BCS Championship, since I always have viewed this team with suspicion since the Utah debacle. All that was erased last year. The only roadbump the past 2 yrs for us was Florida. Last year, as with many BCS championship teams of the past, we had our scares. Florida,although successful in the 2008 SECCG, was not one of them. The acid test for us will be Florida, they replace alot on a defense we ran through at will, and we bring back the same offense and coaches. Concerns? Nothing that won’t be ironed out before the Gators meet us at home. If Florida does not have a legit running game like last year, expect the same results. Its the most talent on one field for Alabama on BOTH sides of the ball I have seen in 30 yrs. We are 2005 USC, except we will be a lil better on defense. I think we will drop a game, but I wouldnt be betting against the spread.
"THE DAY I CAN'T GET YOU GUYS TO GET IT RIGHT I'M GONNA GO TO THE LAKE SIT ON THE DOCKS AND WATCH THE DUCKS Sh*t IN THE YARD!"
by mrpelicanpants on Aug 23, 2010 10:53 AM EDT reply actions
I see the Bama kool-aid was served for breakfast this morning.
by CanWeBeMature on Aug 23, 2010 11:01 AM EDT up reply actions
....and here is another prediction VT will beat the holy hell outta Boise St....
Boise St is FAVORED in that game? Easy money. That nice shiny big blue balloon of “Expectations” will get popped real quick. Betting on the game, take VT by all means.
How in the hell can Boise St stop both Ryan Williams and Darren Evans? This will be the easiest money I have made this year, ending all that “BCS Buster” bullshit.
"THE DAY I CAN'T GET YOU GUYS TO GET IT RIGHT I'M GONNA GO TO THE LAKE SIT ON THE DOCKS AND WATCH THE DUCKS Sh*t IN THE YARD!"
by mrpelicanpants on Aug 23, 2010 12:27 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
....and Arkansas still hasnt tackled Trent Richardson....
This year he hopes to break an 80 yarder while getting to run over all 11 defenders/turnstiles….I hope your QB has a life insurance policy, at least AFLAC…
"THE DAY I CAN'T GET YOU GUYS TO GET IT RIGHT I'M GONNA GO TO THE LAKE SIT ON THE DOCKS AND WATCH THE DUCKS Sh*t IN THE YARD!"
by mrpelicanpants on Aug 23, 2010 12:29 PM EDT up reply actions
I remember
when I was 12 years old.
Good times.
Awww. c'mon girl.
by SmoovP on Aug 23, 2010 12:40 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
I came here to stir the pot, get this party started....
Because I am bored, and its 11 days til kickoff, and ESPN does me no favors by watching the Tide Training Days thingy, it only made me want to run thru a wall…
I usually dont stir the pot, but I can see the appeal and the fun in it…I had my doubts about Saban after losing to ULM, then to Utah at the end of ’08. I just hope he doesnt have his normal WTF? loss this year, which he hasnt had in the regular season for the past 2 yrs, so it would make sense he would be due for one, but I feel he has actually stepped his game up in coaching this year, and I will likely be suprised, more so than last year, if we didnt run the table. We are more complete on offense than I have ever seen it, and he may use the offense to cover up any weakness the D may have via Tressel Ball.
"THE DAY I CAN'T GET YOU GUYS TO GET IT RIGHT I'M GONNA GO TO THE LAKE SIT ON THE DOCKS AND WATCH THE DUCKS Sh*t IN THE YARD!"
by mrpelicanpants on Aug 23, 2010 1:34 PM EDT up reply actions
I don't know where Saban
got this image of unbeatable from. He lost plenty at LSU and with the Dolphins.
Losing at LSU is the natural order of things
RE: The 40 years of absolute suckage between Billy Cannon & the Chinese Bandits and the arrival of Saban.
It's a sure sign of impending societal collapse when we have so many grown men sitting around and arguing on the Interwebz about other people they don't know playing games that don't matter. But it can occasionally be fun.
LSU pre-Saban was a tough team, but no one really
put them over the top til he got there. Thats why Bama was so excited to get a “winner”, it was one the tops in facilities and tradition, kinda pre-mixed for a BCS run, just add Saban. He has his system down, his recruiting is top notch, and he loves defense. Tailor made for Bama.
I am sure if he had went to Michigan, we would be talking bout Mallett and Ingram on offense and a beast of a defense beating tOSU like we beat Florida. He is just more successful here than at LSU cause I think the SEC has been sorta down with all the coaching changes lately. You cannot compare the NFL vs College, 2 totally different animals. He can’t talk to pro athletes and veterans like he talks to his team on a daily basis. FWIW, many NFL athletes would laugh if he got in their face, and probably called him “Nick”.
"THE DAY I CAN'T GET YOU GUYS TO GET IT RIGHT I'M GONNA GO TO THE LAKE SIT ON THE DOCKS AND WATCH THE DUCKS Sh*t IN THE YARD!"
by mrpelicanpants on Aug 23, 2010 6:53 PM EDT up reply actions
Yep. Teams don't lose...
….a 3-yr starting QB, an Outland Trophy OT, a Rimington finalist center, their leading rusher RB, a spectacular DB, and whole host of other players to the NFL and come back and win a NC. No way, it just doesn’t happen…..oh wait, IT JUST DID.
Granted, a LOT of small things have to fall into place for a team to win a NC. Bama has a formidable task in rebuilding their secondary and special teams, but they also have the most formidable DB coach (if not HC) in the country and enough talent to be the nation’s best by mid-season. Underestimate Saban at your own peril.
I have discounted the Tide for 2 years now, and have been as surprised as anyone to see them go 12-2 and 14-0. So yeah, give me that freakin’ Kool-Aid….
It's a sure sign of impending societal collapse when we have so many grown men sitting around and arguing on the Interwebz about other people they don't know playing games that don't matter. But it can occasionally be fun.
And then
Nick Saban ascends bodily into heaven, where he has to fight a cage match with Bear Bryant for the right to face Jesus in the Heaven Bowl.
My money’s on Bear Bryant. After all, he fought a bear.
And won.
Awww. c'mon girl.
uhh, I don't think Saban will be ascending anywhere.....
if you have played against his Defense, you know he aint from heaven….and his name is Saban, which sounds curiously like someone NOT from heaven….and I can’t prove he didnt sell his soul to the other guy,for all of this instant success.
"THE DAY I CAN'T GET YOU GUYS TO GET IT RIGHT I'M GONNA GO TO THE LAKE SIT ON THE DOCKS AND WATCH THE DUCKS Sh*t IN THE YARD!"
by mrpelicanpants on Aug 23, 2010 2:07 PM EDT up reply actions
There have been three famous coaches from Wf'nVA
Lou Holtz — already spent all his coaching fame dollars and is now possibly senile.
Rich Rodriguez — karma-fucked himself by teasing Bama, then bailing on his alma mater only months after professing eternal love.
Nick Saban — the Weaux Gawdz transferred all of the good football karma they confiscated from DickRod and gave it to The Little One. He may be extra-special for quite a while, but it ultimately depends on how good RR would have been had he stayed at WVU — and like our time on this Earth, nobody knows how long would have been.
Enjoy it while it lasts, Bammers.
by An 'eer with a beer on Aug 23, 2010 3:11 PM EDT up reply actions
Bro, I can't believe you forgot the greatest Wf'nV college coach of all time
Fielding Yost, who went 197-35-12 all time (165-29-10 at Michigan) and won 6 National Championships.
Fun fact: Yost and Rodriguez’s hometowns were in Marion county about six miles apart. Saban’s was also in Marion county about 12 miles from Yost’s town and 9 miles from Rodriguez’s
"I like the taste of danger most of all." - Jonatha Brooke
by MtnEer_in_SC on Aug 23, 2010 5:36 PM EDT up reply actions
One cannot forget
What one never knew.
Thanks for the correction.
by An 'eer with a beer on Aug 23, 2010 6:51 PM EDT up reply actions
What in the hell do they do in Wf'nV? Make the teams
push buses up and down the mountains? Thats a pretty good roster of coaching, and here I thought Youngstown was the cradle of coaching…it must be the moonshine.
"THE DAY I CAN'T GET YOU GUYS TO GET IT RIGHT I'M GONNA GO TO THE LAKE SIT ON THE DOCKS AND WATCH THE DUCKS Sh*t IN THE YARD!"
by mrpelicanpants on Aug 23, 2010 6:56 PM EDT up reply actions
Miami University is the "cradle of coaches"
The one in Ohio, not da U.
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
There is also FSU's Jimbo Fisher
from Clarksburg, WV, but he’s not really proven anything yet.
"I like the taste of danger most of all." - Jonatha Brooke
by MtnEer_in_SC on Aug 23, 2010 9:21 PM EDT up reply actions
"We are 2005 USC"
In the inevitable probation-y sense, at least.
by Washington Irving on Aug 23, 2010 11:06 AM EDT up reply actions
Wow, Mr. PP. Your fandom knows no bounds.
When a very good defense loses 9 to graduation/NFL/loss of eligibility, it has a negative effect. The guys replacing them are probably going to be good players, but if they were better, they would have played last year. You can expect a dropoff, yet the schedule is is generous and cruel at the same time. You get PSU with a brand new QB with no experience at all. Your defense may look great in that game, but only be on the field for 20 minutes as the offense runs the ball 55 times. Florida has a new QB. He may be great eventually, but I suspect that there will be break in period there too. Then there is Arkansas with a great QB and little defense. We’ll see, but there may not be a dominant team in CFB again this year. Everyone has a flaw, some will be found.
by Crabapple Buck on Aug 23, 2010 11:08 AM EDT up reply actions
Crab-I look for a dropoff-in the kicking game-which averaged 6-9 pts a game, which we will miss...
What people don’t see is that Nick Saban doesn’t start people who can’t play in his system. The have to KNOW it, verbatim. The guys who keep making MENTAL errors usually wash out, especially in the DB portion of the defense. Especially these past 2 yrs, there have been 4/5 star guys who(could have started anywhere else in the SEC) should have started over who was starting based on talent only.
But since they didnt get prepared and study the defense, lingo, etc, they are no longer on the team and the guys who KNOW the defense usually take the field on Saturdays. It will be rare that you will ever see a TRUE freshman DB starting on Sabans defense, since it takes a year,or two to get a grasp. There were guys we got in I felt would start instantly, and when they didnt, I kinda knew they werent gonna make it(for some reason,all from Mississippi). His system of recruiting is a machine. You have to fit into the linkage or get melted down. The biggest flaw in this system would be injuries and him having to play someone who isnt near being ready, which means he cant run the defense like he wants to -being overly aggressive on passing downs. Will plays be made against our defense? Sure. Will our D make plays against other teams? Sure. My main concern is our kicking game. In 2009, we had a good enough kicking game to get points. That may not be the case this year and may put games too close for comfort. But all I am saying is don’t be suprised if you see some young players emerge on the defensive side of the ball, and if you are gonna score points on this team, you are gonna have to earn it. I think Dre Kilpatrck could be one of the best to play in the defensive backfield at Bama since Fernando Bryant, if he stays healthy. I just think Saban is going out of his way NOT to have the Utah experience ever again. And we will pound the shit outta Auburn. Last year we had Florida circled in the SECCG. This year its Auburn. At our house. Lord help them.
"THE DAY I CAN'T GET YOU GUYS TO GET IT RIGHT I'M GONNA GO TO THE LAKE SIT ON THE DOCKS AND WATCH THE DUCKS Sh*t IN THE YARD!"
by mrpelicanpants on Aug 23, 2010 12:04 PM EDT up reply actions
Are you getting paid by the word?
Fuck. I get it, not a fan of that brevity thing.
by ESS EEE SEE Speed on Aug 23, 2010 12:45 PM EDT up reply actions
In closing, to sum it all up,I'll be brief,notwithstanding my love for scotch,
WRITE IT DOWN. 2010 Bama’s Defense is known as the “FEAST OR FAMINE” Defense. Blitz for a sack or turnover, if not, get prepared to be burned like toast.
Pretty sure offense will play keep away to minimize exposure to good passing attacks. Game summary will look like this
BAMA time of possession-55:48, 3 scores (2 rushing, 1 passing) and 2 FG’s….Opponents-4:52, 2 scores of 78 and 67 yrds passing, with 2 FG’s.
"THE DAY I CAN'T GET YOU GUYS TO GET IT RIGHT I'M GONNA GO TO THE LAKE SIT ON THE DOCKS AND WATCH THE DUCKS Sh*t IN THE YARD!"
by mrpelicanpants on Aug 23, 2010 2:13 PM EDT up reply actions
"the only roadbump the past 2 years was florida"
True I guess if you consider Utah a brick wall you crashed into a full speed. Or from my memory of that game…like 1/2 speed.
by Onestatewest on Aug 23, 2010 11:11 AM EDT up reply actions
Yeh, we looked really prepared for that game. Prepared=Drunk. Fans included.
Utah wasn’t who we were looking forward to playing, had we beat Florida. Kinda glad it went down the way it did. Had we beat Florida, we may have gotten smoked worse vs Oklahoma since we would be missing a 1st round NFL draft pick left tackle and then his back up goes down with an injury, I feel it would have been worse than the Utah debacle.
Where is Utah now?
"THE DAY I CAN'T GET YOU GUYS TO GET IT RIGHT I'M GONNA GO TO THE LAKE SIT ON THE DOCKS AND WATCH THE DUCKS Sh*t IN THE YARD!"
by mrpelicanpants on Aug 23, 2010 11:43 AM EDT up reply actions
Going to a BCS conference.
CougCenter Formerly known as Dancing Football
Twitter!
by Craig Powers on Aug 23, 2010 12:37 PM EDT up reply actions
Never to be heard from again......
at least in any real BCS scenario…
"THE DAY I CAN'T GET YOU GUYS TO GET IT RIGHT I'M GONNA GO TO THE LAKE SIT ON THE DOCKS AND WATCH THE DUCKS Sh*t IN THE YARD!"
by mrpelicanpants on Aug 23, 2010 1:36 PM EDT up reply actions
In all fairness
Alabama and Utah have an equal number of BCS bowl wins.
The French haven't the nature for war. Their Gallic laziness combines with their Latinate voluptuousness with the result that they would rather eat and make love with their faces than fight.
No they don't
Utah has won two BCS bowl games. And to be overly pedantic, Alabama doesn’t even have a “BCS bowl” win, as they won the BCS Title Game which is not, technically, a bowl.
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
by HoyaGoon on Aug 23, 2010 3:06 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I was wondering how long it would be
before Lane Kiffin signed up here.
by El Kabong!!! on Aug 23, 2010 4:24 PM EDT up reply actions
Obiviously
the concept of the Weauxf Gawdz has not been introduced to this lad.
He shall learn of it, however.
by An 'eer with a beer on Aug 23, 2010 11:59 AM EDT up reply actions
Will we be getting Brian's statistical commentary this year?
Conference homers are the lowest form of fandom. That is why the SEC has so many of them.
Woooh UGA, number 13, Go Dawgs!
(But really 13 is more generous than I gave them. In my dream rankings I had UGA beating Florida and then losing the SEC championship to Alabama, but in reality world I’m not sure I’d have UGA at 13.)
by Cantabrigian_UGA_Fan on Aug 23, 2010 10:55 AM EDT reply actions
psu
gets to play 3 teams on the road that won BCS bowls.
not saying i am happy with the omission, but i understand
Eat what the monkey eats, then eat the monkey. -U.S. Navy survival guidance
What's wrong with the poll you linked?
If that guy thinks Pitt & Auburn are top 5 teams, good for him for voting that way and not just following everyone else.
If we had more independent thinkers for voters, we wouldn’t end up with an undeserving team like Texas, who lost its only 2 good offenstive players and got mashed by the only good team it faced last year in Alabama, in the top 5.
/looks at EDSBS ballot
Oh.
Huskies #8, huh?
/scratcheshead
Let's hang half a hundred on 'em and enjoy the second half.
by Uncle Earmuffs on Aug 23, 2010 11:36 AM EDT reply actions
Orson apparently thinks...
they are going to win a lot of games by scores of 62-60.
But it’s the Pac10 and whothefuckknows this year. I’ll go ahead and pick UCLA, because Rick is under the radar, where you know, he likes it.
by ESS EEE SEE Speed on Aug 23, 2010 12:49 PM EDT up reply actions
Seriously.
The fuck, sir? The fuck?
"[T]here's only one team that has a chance to try to repeat." ~ Sean Payton
by AllSaintsDay on Aug 24, 2010 12:09 AM EDT up reply actions
Obviously I disagree with * at #1
..but the Sooners can physically remove them from that spot in October, so I’ll let it slide. However, hitting Skip Bayless with a car should be something that brings us together as a nation.
by Billy Sims' Fro on Aug 23, 2010 12:08 PM EDT reply actions
Uh why is Cinci ranked but not Notre Dame
When Notre Dame just got their entire staff including head coach… Please oh please don’t prove me right that Kelly was not the right person for the job, and that his “I can win when no one on the planet including the alumni of the school I’m coaching are looking”. Ugggh. I feel a bad year coming on again.
There is no right person for the job
A staff of Zombie Bear Bryant, Zombie Knute Rockne, and Zombie Vince Lombradi could not meet ND fans expectations at ND (or any private school other than USC) in 2010 given the current college football financial and academic environment.
…fans expectations at ND (or any private school other than USC) in 2010 given the current college football financial and academic environment.
Pat Fitzgerald and Jim Harbaugh have some laps they’d like you to run.
Can you hear this, Denver, or shall I turn it up for you?
Playing as well as Stanford or Northwestern do today is achievable by ND (or my Orange, for that matter), though it would represent improvement from what the last 3 guys did at ND (none of who were considered bums going into the job, and the last two lauded as perfect for it shortly before and after they were hired) and so may be harder than many think. Since neither team routinely appears in Rose Bowls the last time I checked (let alone winning them, playing for national championships, or winning national championships), this would not meet ND fans expectations.
If any private school other than USC has five top 10 finishes in a decade in the top division of college football without some massive changes in how college football works from a financial and academic standpoint, I will be shocked. And if LA gets an NFL team, I don’t think it would be achievable for USC, either.
Good God, man.
You need an infusion, stat.

Brian Kelly says no Spicy Sea Nuggets.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Aug 23, 2010 4:42 PM EDT up reply actions
so...
Texas is #1 because Muschamp > Kevin Wilson, but Nebraska isn’t ranked because Suh > Bo Pelini? Methinks you underestimate Jut-Jaw Bo of the Great Plains.
Can you hear this, Denver, or shall I turn it up for you?
Pre-season polls always confuse me
Is this how you see these teams at the end of the year, or after the first week, or is this a representation of their buzz before they’ve played a down?
N E ways, it looks ‘kewl’ that you’ve ranked WVU ‘higher’ than almost anyone else I’ve seen so far.
"I like the taste of danger most of all." - Jonatha Brooke
It doesn't matter any way you slice it.
Preseason polls are simply a way for sports writers of all flavors to make their quota for a day’s (week’s?) work. And poor schmucks like us will inevitably read it, because it’s been 4.5 months since spring ball, 6 months since signing day, 7 months and 2 weeks since the BCS title game, and baseball is just another pestilence unleashed upon the earth by Satan to destroy the minds of righteous men….
The only way preseason polls even remotely matter is that they set/reflect the expectations of the coming season. I.e., if school A and school B are in a dead heat for a given spot at the end of the year, the one ranked higher in the preseason usually gets the nod. It’s all BS….
It's a sure sign of impending societal collapse when we have so many grown men sitting around and arguing on the Interwebz about other people they don't know playing games that don't matter. But it can occasionally be fun.
Come see the violence inherent in the system!
by Washington Irving on Aug 23, 2010 3:17 PM EDT up reply actions
Has anyone asked
Why we are throwing the cheese overboard?
I understand why to throw out the week 1 pics, but why, GOD WHY, throw the cheese overboard?
Sparty on. Gator done.
It's a Spencer Hall thing.
He absolutely hates cheese.
"I like the taste of danger most of all." - Jonatha Brooke
by MtnEer_in_SC on Aug 23, 2010 5:41 PM EDT up reply actions
Orson
I guess the epic smackdown you took playing the gloriously awesome sport of rugby has affected your ability to objectively weight teams. Nebraska unranked? We’re either the butterfly or the penguins in the below video, but irregardless we made a retarded child Iowa State feel special for a few minutes. I think that’s a complement for us.
http://cuteoverload.com/2010/08/19/butterfly-in-the-sky-i-can-fly-twice-as-high-oh-crap/


















