HOLY HELL JULIO MORA MUST BE THE BEST PROSPECT EVER
by Spencer Hall on Jul 30, 2010 12:17 PM EDT
33 comments
We're working on Sports Memes and the Digital Viking at the moment, but we must bring this to your attention (Via reader Ara.) Julio Mora may only run a 4.65, but did we mention he's bullet-proof, constantly covered by a halo of ever-burning flame that burns others and not him, and can disaggregate defenders into piles of red goo like Dr. Manhattan?
The first 22 star recruit in Rivals history becomes one and a half star recruit when you click his individual profile, but that's because he rates himself much more harshly than others do. Champions always do. Mora will decide between Southern Utah and Weber State because they will let him keep his pet bear and spouse Geraldine the Kodiak bear and their litter of half-bear, half-god children in student housing. He also farted once in an elevator and started a rave that lasted for five days, is the author of Bhutan's innovative constitution, and is the king of England. A special dispensation will be needed for his cleats, which are each individually full-sized living dinosaurs.
(Assistance by Adam Jacobi.)
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Herschel Sims = Greatest Genetically Engineered RB Prospect Ever
Meanwhile, UF bio-engineering scientists report that Danny Tebow is fermenting nicely in the birthing-pod.
Danny Orr Tebow?
The first pre-natal commitment unless Kiffin has already done it on the down low.
We are THE tigersthatsaywareagle
He's deciding between two Utah schools
because he gets a wife for every one of those stars.
After his playing days are over, of course.
SLGT - Let's Go Blues!
by BoylenOver on Jul 30, 2010 12:25 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
+1'd
He’d almost be halfway to Brigham Young!
by cbweatherman on Jul 30, 2010 1:18 PM EDT up reply actions
God, what if they send him on a mission?
The entire population of the southern hemisphere will be instantly converted to Mormonism…
They shall know me by the tang of my bitter and untenable jadedness.
by towski on Jul 30, 2010 12:28 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
My sperm has fifty stars.
My progeny will have 100 out the womb.
_________________
I'm Banana dammit!!!
by BurritoBrosShits on Jul 30, 2010 12:28 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
Mora, Mora, Mora,
The last person I remember reading about with that name got his job solely because of daddy – took one franchise three years to figure out he was retarded, then the next one took only a year.
Is Julio Jim Jr.‘s younger brother or son? Cause if it’s yes – he’ll probably fall back assward into all kinds of accolades and opportunities he never earned.
The tragedy here
is that the truly glorious name of Chevelle Buie is being overlooked.
Hangin' half a hundred
If Bama offers him, he'll go up to 24 stars
by Golden Hand on Jul 30, 2010 1:13 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
the NC championship jokes never get old
no really, they’re funny. maybe they sting a little? oh well, guess i’ll just have to appreciate the 4 during my lifetime (including my freshman year and one a little more recently <- 2009).
by dirt sandwich on Jul 30, 2010 2:57 PM EDT up reply actions
Time to clean off my monitor (again)...
He also farted once in an elevator and started a rave that lasted for five days
+1 O/S
Don't care how many stars he has
There’s no way he’s more awesome than a guy named JUSTICE HAYES. Criminals of Grang Blanc, MI beware, the eyes of JUSTICE HAYES are upon you
by NU Wildcat Offense on Jul 30, 2010 1:51 PM EDT reply actions
Justice is going to South Bend....
the Indiana Excise Police just got themselves a new recruit in their war against the never-ending scourge of college kids drinking beer
Those are some legit RB names
Except for Julio Mora. He’s going to be a utility infielder for a AA team in the Carolinas.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains
by Chekhov's Spread Gun Option on Jul 30, 2010 1:54 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Good thing my office door was closed
his cleats…are each individually full-sized living dinosaurs.
Thank you sirs.
Sure, he's good, but...
He doesn’t have anything on South Carolina’s Sean Tapley. Your puny HTML cannot contain his greatness!
by impiri on Jul 30, 2010 2:10 PM EDT reply actions 3 recs
I stopped counting
when I hit fifty. Are there 75? It looks like 75.
And here's a lighthouse keeper being beheaded by a laser beam!
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