HOW CRAY-CRAY WAS MY BUYOUT: THE RON PRINCE STORY

Say this for Kansas State: It's going to take a lot to top recent antics in the Kansas athletic department, but the little brothers in purple are going for the brass ring of batshittery con gusto. Walk with us, if you will, through the latest set of revelations concerning efforts on the part of K-State officials to skirt EDSBS Patron Saint of Sideline Gyrations Ron Prince's secret multimillion-dollar buyout, not forgetting that K-State is in this mess to begin with because someone gave Ron Prince a secret multimillion-dollar buyout:

• The part where the athletic director tried to make Prince his comely Victorian ward to make the extension go away:

In Charlottesville, Krause made an offer: If Prince agreed to nullify the buyout agreement, Krause would purchase an insurance policy on his own life and designate Prince as the beneficiary.

• The part where the University's central argument is that Krause overstepped his authority, because clearly ADs should not be allowed to offer contracts to coaches working under their purview:

The two-page memorandum of understanding, which entitles Prince to a series of deferred payments beginning in 2015, is being challenged on the grounds that Krause acted outside his authority in negotiations.

• The part where this had to be resolved speedily to escape extra scrutiny that might ensue thanks to their baby-shaking RB:
Wefald and Krause felt it was important to resolve the contract issues before the 2008 football season, and they were concerned about negative publicity stemming from former Wildcat Leon Patton's legal woes. Patton, a running back who played two seasons for Prince, was being investigated on child abuse charges, and Wefald feared a public backlash if the story broke before Prince's contract was finalized.

• This part is sketchy, but the story indirectly implies that the MOU itself was written on notebook paper, which is fantastic storytelling even if untrue.

Oh, my land, this is both fun and far from over. Please share your own epochal notebook-paper moments below.

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