IT'S ALL FOR A GOOD CAUSE
by Spencer Hall on Apr 14, 2010 5:22 PM EDT
Email
Print
Proposed: This billboard, to be positioned on I-10 twenty miles outside Tallahassee.
Reason for existing: I dunno, like, taunting and stuff? Tauntbros seem to think "taunting" adds to the pleasure of beating someone's team, like in ancient times when invading empires left behind billboards saying things like "BURNED YOUR CAPITAL LOL" and "TOO BAD/ SO SAD/ RAN SPIKES/ THROUGH YOUR DAD/ PEANUTS AND WATERMELON AND MORE AT EXIT 8." Taunt-bros then would fist-bump as taunt-bros have through the ages, and then call passersby homosexual.
Pros: It's for charity after expenses are met. And you know, the taunt-bros.
Cons: As one commenter suggested, Auburnesque. Also: Louisiana-Monroe-ish. Taunt-bro strategy sometimes backfires, resulting in the ironic reposting of said billboard when defeat finally comes sometime in the next thirty years or so. You could just write a check to the Gainesville Pet Rescue. Genghis Khan never needed billboards and thought piles of burning bodies and smoldering ruins were better than taunt-bro billboards.
Summary Judgment: Iffy. Would be better if it said "YOUR COACH IS NAMED AFTER A TENNESSEAN CHIMPANZEE."
90 comments
|
1 recs |
Do you like this story?
Comments
Summary is appropriate
under Rule 56 of the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure when there is no genuine issue of material fact. And yes, Florida’s dominance has been so overwhelming that the standard has been met here.
Judge Meyer's Ruling:
Counsel’s analysis is inapposite. The dispute relates not to the crushing dominance of the Gators over FSU (which is stipulated) but rather to the propriety of the sign’s placement.
With regard to this matter, the court rules in favor of putting up the sign, as the response from opposing counsel has consisted of being a total cry baby and not affidavits or evidence tending to support the existence of an issue of material fact.
Motion granted.
This certainly tops...
…the “thanks for being incompetent” soft fruit basket I’ve sent to the Bowden home for the past half-decade.
(Note: I just address it to “Coach Bowden” and assume it will be delivered to an appropriately-incompetent member of the clan.)
That said, the folks at GatorTailgating.com are a good bunch. Give them some love (and the Noles some hate…it’s win-win, baby!)
Paying for it?
Hell, the MDOT did it with taxpayer dollars…
Of course the conversation degenerated...
You were having it with a bunch of degenerates.
by MaliBuckeye at The BBC on Apr 14, 2010 6:06 PM EDT reply actions
I dunno about that
The last team to knock OSU out of the NC race in football was LSU. In basketball it was Tennessee. I’d say Columbus is owned jointly by pretty much the whole SEC.
by Incipient_Senescence on Apr 14, 2010 10:08 PM EDT up reply actions
Sorry...beating them for the football and basketball championship in the same year constitutes full ownership.
LSU and Tennessee were just houseguests of the Gators.
yeah...
Sakerlina beat ’em two outback bowls in a row… so i think we at least get a room (fully furnished, of course) in the timeshare…
Thanks for reminding me....
of that 2003 game.
BALLS
by ESS EEE SEE Speed on Apr 14, 2010 6:17 PM EDT reply actions
I'm all for the piles of burned bodies outside of Tallahasee.
How do we arrange this?
"In case you're wondering what the offense should look like, that wasn't it." - Urban Meyer
Piles of burned bodies are certainly theatrical,
but I think I would prefer an enormous portrait of Coach [REDACTED] hanging in Doak.
Brian Kelly says no Burger King at 3 AM.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Apr 14, 2010 7:53 PM EDT up reply actions
I'd settle for Coach [REDACTED] coaching in Doak.
"In case you're wondering what the offense should look like, that wasn't it." - Urban Meyer
The Columbus Dispatch has the number of days since tOSU has lost to Michigan in a counter every day on their sports page
At least the online edition. Not generis 2000+, exact number of days, updated daily.
Nothing will ever beat
“SAL IS DEAD. GO BIG RED.”
Look it up.
Can you hear this, Denver, or shall I turn it up for you?
Demerits for the random capitalization and use of the extremely tired "Impact" font.
Great idea, bad execution.
Voodoo Five - South Florida Bulls SBN Blog
The Toughest Blog in America
Bad karma
Louisville posted a “We’re miles ahead” sign on I-64 just west of Lexington. Then they hired Kragthorpe.
Yeaah. I'd have felt better about this sign being set up last year.
There is actually a slim possibility that FSU could beat us this year, if they blossom without Bowden and our defense absolutely tanks. This billboard just doubles their chances.
"In case you're wondering what the offense should look like, that wasn't it." - Urban Meyer
Agreed...
I think the possibility is greater than slim… To really rub it it in this should have been put up 1-2 years ago, but I realize it probably took those toothless morons the full 6 six years to come up with this crafty, in-depth billboard.
The preferred spelling, however, is “weauxfing.” I learned that from years over at rec.sports.football.college on USENET.
by An 'eer with a beer on Apr 14, 2010 10:06 PM EDT up reply actions
IT'S A CYCLONE STATE!
"can your nerd powers explain what this dude is doing in the thread above? I think we’re already defeated"
Good thing I went to FAMU.
As if that “Gainesville: City of Champions” billboard on I-75 wasn’t bad enough to look at while driving."
amazing
that’s almost the exact same length of time it’s been since florida didn’t schedule a cupcake team in November
I know
that’s why we need Free Shoes U to improve a little bit. Our strength of schedule is taking a hit.
by Willknowsbest on Apr 15, 2010 7:33 AM EDT up reply actions
Are you signing up, Cupcake?
If you’ll do so without a home and home agreement, I imagine Mr. Foley will accomodate you. Change the name of your mascot to something Gators don’t eat like the “Fighting Tulips” and you may have a chance. Oh sh.t, that hasn’t worked for the Buckeyes either.
Poor form
It’s not even the longest winning streak in the history of the series. Also, to really get your money’s worth, you need to include how long FSU has gone without a National Championship.
I will say, however, that if SC ever surpasses Notre Dame’s 13 game unbeaten streak in the series, I fully advocate buying up billboards in South Bend and Chicago. But it’s more likely that the Bruins would put up a billboard in LA if they ever get 2 in a row against us again.
As long as right outside of Gainesville we put...
Roll Tide! How did that taste. Tebow stop crying. This is not a prize fight. It aint gonna stop!
In the same spirit...
Your bretheren at Auburn University would like to go halvsies with you on that billboard outside Gainsville. The last time UF beat Auburn, Dubya was in his first term. (2,734 days and change, to be exact…but who’s counting?).
/fistbump
/Call the Gaytors…well, gay.
I'm Irish. I'm going to have to deal with something being wrong the rest of my life.
by boddagettaflyer on Apr 15, 2010 9:22 AM EDT up reply actions
Shh! We'll have none of that objective-y, truth-y like substance around here!
This agression will not stand, man…
In all seriousness, I miss Auburn-Florida every year. Fuckin’ SEC, man…
I'm Irish. I'm going to have to deal with something being wrong the rest of my life.
by boddagettaflyer on Apr 15, 2010 11:24 AM EDT up reply actions
this is why...
I hate the Gators so damn much! And… Tebow’s gay!
I enjoyed it
I enjoyed it. Here’s one for ya, and I got a lot of them!
A man walks into a store and says, “I would like a orange hat, blue pants, green sweater, and white shoes.” The clerk says, “Are you a Gator fan?” “Yes,” replies the man, “How did you guess—by the color combination?” “No,” answers the clerk, “because this is a hardware store.”
Agreed.
I’d prefer a billboard along the lines of “Hey, girl’s school, how are those free shoes working out?”
Inherently, UF > FSU. No need to reference records or anything.
"In case you're wondering what the offense should look like, that wasn't it." - Urban Meyer
by cantcatchuf on Apr 15, 2010 11:45 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Wasn't supposed to be creative, but blunt.
Nuance or whit would be lost on the intended audience.
"In case you're wondering what the offense should look like, that wasn't it." - Urban Meyer
So you wanna throw around the old girl's school retort, eh?
If FSU had not gone to an all girls school form, UF would never have had a Football team. And I quote, “With the passage of the Buckman Act by the Florida Legislature in 1905, the coeducational Florida State College became the female-only Florida Female College, later renamed the Florida State College for Women. All male students, including the fraternity system and the football team, were transferred to the newly created University of Florida.”
Read the “History” section of the Wikipedia entry about FSU football (link provided). Suck it!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Florida_State_Seminoles_football
And You Like Most Gators Are Idiots
FSU is originally and all male school, so get your facts straight. Male school first! Get that?
Ummm, have you seen the talent in Tally?
I wish there were more “girls schools” like FSU.
......and let the paramedics sort 'em out!
Jack Childress
Sees this billboard and smiles at a job well done.
Chris Rix fist daps himself.
[Coach Redacted] wouldtellhimselfwerestillimprovingtotallycorrectablenoisedrivestoofastcan’treadbillboardeatsredbullsixpackwhole.
Domers?
The Auburn sign makes me weep a little inside.
Domers, you’ve got over 6500 days on us. 92 Sugar Bowl rematch in the Gator Bowl this year? <==== This could happen.
Cuttin checks to some wussy ass pet shelter isn't
gonna:
-get us out of this fucking recession.
-keep dumbasses out there from having their pets go all trailer park/ghetto and breed more occupants for said shelters.
Proceed with the billboard.
Seriously people, Bob Barker was right about two things: harass the shit out of your hot underlings/coworkers and spay or neuter your pet today.
Yeah, i guess if you neuter your dog.....
There goes your sex life;)
......and let the paramedics sort 'em out!
Meh
Kind of like kicking a dead horse. I would expect it to be more witty, but if we’re dealing with UFelon and its fanbase, I’m not really expecting too much.
UFelon?
Even more witty and original. You forgot Gaytors. Consult Dorothy for more ideas, I’m sure she can help you out.
by ESS EEE SEE Speed on Apr 15, 2010 3:43 PM EDT up reply actions
Not like Free Shoes U is an engaging and well thought out insult either, but we stick with what fits.
All I’m saying is that, given six years to come up with a taunt to put on a billboard, I’d expect something wittier than a “reminder” of our last win over UF.
No more tainted than the 96 UF championship with the numerous players receiving cash “loans” from Tank Black.
Boasting With Signs, Has Always Done In The UF Blue And Orange Clad Wannabe
From the history books (yes, that means the UF grads must learn how to read): It would be a considerable understatement to say that Florida and Florida State had a tense relationship in those days. It took the state legislature and Governor LeRoy Collins to compel Florida to play its upstart siblings. The first six games were all in Gainesville, beause the UF brass weren’t interested in having a fair rivalry. Florida won them all, except for the 1961 tie. But Florida was coming to Tallahassee in 1964, bringing with them the nation’s top-ranked pass defense, helmets with “Never FSU, Never” taped on the side, and a private plane that flew over the stadium dragging behind it a banner that read “Never.”
Now I post this, to state the obvious… UF lost 16-7… as well as to state the fact that the hatred in this rivalry far exceeds any other rivalries that either team play. The ESPN pundits would have you think otherwise, but we all know how bright they are. Ha ha. Also the younger generation who has no clue about history might think differently. Famous words to live by: “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”
when i see his nom de plume
i am confused because i read FSUKXAZ as a combination of FSU+SUCKS+AZZ (with Zs to add emPHAsis)
A Confused Gator Who Can't Read
A confused Gator who can’t read… what’s new. I’ll explain the pseudo-acronym to you: F – Florida, S – State, U – University, KX – Kicks, AZ- Ass.
You forgot..
@MHT – at Music History Tests
by ESS EEE SEE Speed on Apr 16, 2010 5:49 PM EDT up reply actions
Only one college can actually lay claim to burning down the city of a rival...
And that is Missouri!
We sacked Lawrence, Kansas, burning the town down
Ride Quantrill Ride!
But nobody really cares about either school
At least when we are talking football
by Cigar City Nole on Apr 16, 2010 10:46 PM EDT up reply actions
Oh yeah,no no you should totally proceed with this.
I’m sure it won’t either completely blow up in your face/burn to the ground in a matter of days.
......and let the paramedics sort 'em out!
It will be taken care of at Doak this year
Bring those coaches over who were hastily hired in a seven eleven parking lot.
Bring back Peter Tom Willis
Ann say hello to the grand kids
#4 best college football team on the state of florida
Behind UF, UM, USF…
Give FSU credit they sure are loyal.
"When you argue correctly, you're never wrong."-Nick Naylor
gator fans
See full size image
285 × 325 – 19k – jpg – img.coxnewsweb.com/C/03/04/87/image_5987043.jpg
Image may be subject to copyright.
Below is the image at: www.sectalk.com/…/48511-classic-gator-fan.html
Comments For This Post Are Closed
Secondary Sidebar
User Tools
FanPosts
Community blog posts and discussion.
Certain photos copyright © 2012 by Associated Press or Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Associated Press and Getty Images is strictly prohibited.
