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FULMER CUPDATE: UGA MAKES ITS PREDICTABLY BUREAUCRATIC ENTRY

A visual summary of UGA's Fulmer Cup resume to date: sleepy, present, and on ice.

A visual summary of UGA's Fulmer Cup resume to date: sleepy, present, and on ice.

Georgia's appearances in the Fulmer Cup are mundane, bureaucratic affairs. Student lacked proper paperwork, license suspended, exited alley inappropriately, "I fell asleep on the toilet while drunk in a public place," etc...for the most part, they've lacked the zest of Florida's gun-toting and weed-ish arrests while failing to score as many points, so yes just like the recent streak of performances in Jacksonville between the two teams STAB STAB STAB. 

The bland legacy continues with the arrest of quarterback Zach Mettenberger, who on spring break in his hometown of Remerton, GA  got hit up by what we assume to be a young Buford T. Justice type for a slew of misdemeanor citations after a trip to Flip-Flops bar. If you wonder whether you should ever go to a bar, just ask for its name. Does it end with a possessive apostrophe "s"? Then the answer is no. 

Mettenberger was charged with underage consumption/possession of alcohol, disorderly conduct, obstruction and two counts of having a fake identification, Remerton Police Chief Mike Terrell said.

Mike Terell doesn't tolerate your lawlessness, be it cloaked in a UGA shirt or in the guise of semi-naked teen girls. Eliminating Remerton's problems one at a time, that man, or in this case two at a time, since Mettenberger had two fake IDs on him, and five thousand dollars total in various currencies, and a handgun, and no, he doesn't know why he can run a thousand meters in five minutes at five thousand feet above sea level, or why he can subdue two policemen without using a weapon, or why he has these mysterious headaches. He thinks it has something to do with Treadstone, and killing Clive Owen in an icy wheatfield with a shotgun, but most good times do, so he'll have to work on his theory. 

At one point a piece that's five points for UGA in the Fulmer Cup, albeit in mostly boring technicalities but still a fair pile of points for one weekend. Hack font: this will only add to the ever-warming hot seat SOME SAY MARK RICHT IS ON AT UGA! *

*Wattup, Bleacher Report! 

UPDATE: Mettenberger is from Watkinsville, and was partying on spring break in Valdosta. Soak that last clause up for maximum effect. "Mettenberger was on spring break in Valdosta." 

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Hometown of Remerton, GA?

Isn’t thought he was from Watkinsville, Ga.

Also does anyone live in Remerton- I thought it was just the Sunday beer selling two blocks in Valdosta?

by jokastrength on Mar 8, 2010 11:45 AM EST reply actions  

Jeez I never recognized Clive Owen in that movie. Pretty good bit character.

by Tim James on Mar 8, 2010 11:53 AM EST reply actions  

It’s been a really rough week to go out drinking in Georgia if you’re a QB whose last name ends in -berger.

by Torgo's Executive Powder on Mar 8, 2010 11:55 AM EST reply actions  

Is fake ID

going to be the new scooter meme? Jebus.

by ESS EEE SEE Speed on Mar 8, 2010 11:56 AM EST reply actions  

I'm impressed that he was cited for two counts of having a fake ID

Was one of them a Blockbuster Video card used to “prove” that the other fake driver’s license wasn’t total bullsh_t?

by GeauxIrish on Mar 8, 2010 12:00 PM EST up reply actions  

So Valdosta cops are tougher

on Georgia players than Athens cops. Who’d a thunk it?

by Big Bill on Mar 8, 2010 12:04 PM EST reply actions  

So...

…you’ve obviously not been paying attention to the scooter mayhem ACC cops love to write up.

not drunk, just overserved

by Gen. Stoopnagle on Mar 9, 2010 11:28 AM EST up reply actions  

Oregon had a LB get popped for MIP

Addictedtoquack.com has the details. I believe that gives them the outright lead.

by B Money on Mar 8, 2010 12:21 PM EST via mobile reply actions  

Damn, no arrest.

I stand corrected. Ducks really seem to want it this year though.

by B Money on Mar 8, 2010 12:25 PM EST via mobile up reply actions  

Bravo on that last bit...

Spring break IN Valdosta? I hope he was on a one night stopover at a friend’s place before/after heading to one of the many lovely beaches in Florida.

by Mr. Sanchez on Mar 8, 2010 12:21 PM EST reply actions  

I got busted for 2 fake ideas when I was in college

One was a POS Oregon state ID card that I picked up at a flea market in Gary, Indiana. The other was a military ID from a co-worker that kinda sorta looked like me. Misusing a federal ID carried a $10K fine, so it was lucky that my dad knew the prosecutor, and the military ID somehow disappeared from evidence when my court case came around.

by Spartan D on Mar 8, 2010 12:25 PM EST reply actions  

Pray tell :P

How does one have fake “ideas”? You just pretended to desire the undesirable?

by blackertai on Mar 8, 2010 1:57 PM EST up reply actions  

Valdosta?

Wild Adventures must be fun as shit.

_________________
I'm Banana dammit!!!

by BurritoBrosShits on Mar 8, 2010 12:37 PM EST reply actions  

Ever been to Watkinsville?

People in Oconee County refer to the Jewel of Far South Georgia as Valdostavegas (they ain’t completely clear on the concept). Come for the Lowndes County Historical Society and Museum, stay for the Friday night cruising at THREE Sonic Drive-Ins.

by Golden Hand on Mar 8, 2010 12:44 PM EST reply actions  

Really?

Funny. I’ve never heard anyone in the ville refer to Valdosta at all. Maybe I’m running with the wrong crowd?

not drunk, just overserved

by Gen. Stoopnagle on Mar 9, 2010 11:29 AM EST up reply actions  

Valdosta's great

All those GHP girls really know how to party.

by softbatch on Mar 8, 2010 12:52 PM EST reply actions  

This one time, at band camp...

I'm Irish. I'm going to have to deal with something being wrong the rest of my life.

by boddagettaflyer on Mar 8, 2010 1:03 PM EST up reply actions  

GHP is in the summer. Right now all they have is VSU and ABAC girls.

by jokastrength on Mar 8, 2010 1:08 PM EST up reply actions  

ABAC girls?

I am confused.

I'm Irish. I'm going to have to deal with something being wrong the rest of my life.

by boddagettaflyer on Mar 8, 2010 2:22 PM EST up reply actions  

ABAC *has* girls?

Goddamnit, Orson, we need an edit button on this thing. Stream-of-consciousness makes sense in our head, but makes us look like an idiot on paper screen.

I'm Irish. I'm going to have to deal with something being wrong the rest of my life.

by boddagettaflyer on Mar 8, 2010 2:24 PM EST up reply actions  

ABAC Girls

they exist, very similar to everything else at ABAC- drive trucks and chew tobacco.

by jokastrength on Mar 8, 2010 4:21 PM EST up reply actions  

Actually ...

This is a true statement. Well, not “all” those GHP girls, but enough of them.

by NCT on Mar 8, 2010 2:17 PM EST up reply actions  

I'm gussing that this slOconee r/n

was on a hunting expedition of some sort or the other.

not drunk, just overserved

by Gen. Stoopnagle on Mar 9, 2010 11:30 AM EST reply actions  

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