FULMER CUPDATE: UGA MAKES ITS PREDICTABLY BUREAUCRATIC ENTRY

Georgia's appearances in the Fulmer Cup are mundane, bureaucratic affairs. Student lacked proper paperwork, license suspended, exited alley inappropriately, "I fell asleep on the toilet while drunk in a public place," etc...for the most part, they've lacked the zest of Florida's gun-toting and weed-ish arrests while failing to score as many points, so yes just like the recent streak of performances in Jacksonville between the two teams STAB STAB STAB. 

The bland legacy continues with the arrest of quarterback Zach Mettenberger, who on spring break in his hometown of Remerton, GA  got hit up by what we assume to be a young Buford T. Justice type for a slew of misdemeanor citations after a trip to Flip-Flops bar. If you wonder whether you should ever go to a bar, just ask for its name. Does it end with a possessive apostrophe "s"? Then the answer is no. 

Mettenberger was charged with underage consumption/possession of alcohol, disorderly conduct, obstruction and two counts of having a fake identification, Remerton Police Chief Mike Terrell said.

Mike Terell doesn't tolerate your lawlessness, be it cloaked in a UGA shirt or in the guise of semi-naked teen girls. Eliminating Remerton's problems one at a time, that man, or in this case two at a time, since Mettenberger had two fake IDs on him, and five thousand dollars total in various currencies, and a handgun, and no, he doesn't know why he can run a thousand meters in five minutes at five thousand feet above sea level, or why he can subdue two policemen without using a weapon, or why he has these mysterious headaches. He thinks it has something to do with Treadstone, and killing Clive Owen in an icy wheatfield with a shotgun, but most good times do, so he'll have to work on his theory. 

At one point a piece that's five points for UGA in the Fulmer Cup, albeit in mostly boring technicalities but still a fair pile of points for one weekend. Hack font: this will only add to the ever-warming hot seat SOME SAY MARK RICHT IS ON AT UGA! *

*Wattup, Bleacher Report! 

UPDATE: Mettenberger is from Watkinsville, and was partying on spring break in Valdosta. Soak that last clause up for maximum effect. "Mettenberger was on spring break in Valdosta."