VISITING LECTURER: UCLA

Teams: there are a lot of them. In our effort to bring you the finest "bullshit" coverage of college football, our Visiting Lecturer Series today welcomes the Gutty Little Bruins, who helm the appropriately titled UCLA blog Gutty Little Bruins. They provide us with your thumbnail sketch of UCLA football and, in addition, also nail the finest answer to our irony-puncturing Jimmy Buffett challenge yet.

One: what color is your season? In other words, please explain the metaphorical state of your program through the metaphor of color:

The UCLA season, and the program, is white. [*cough* --ed.] It's a blank slate, with a new head coach, new players, and a new-HOLY-SHIT-NORM-CHOW-IS-OUR-OFFENSIVE-COORDINATOR-THANK-YOU-JESUS

Two: What historical nation and period do you resemble most right now?

Germany, in the late 1800's after Bismarck united the country. During the entirety of the Karl Dorrell era, UCLA fans fought amongst/embarrassed themselves by either defending or attacking Dorrell. Um...I'm not going to name names, but I'm of the opinion that some people took it a little too far. It's college football. It's not a goddam nuclear war.

Anyways, UCLA fans are all in the same boat for the first time since...ever.

With Norm Chow, DeWayne Walker, and Rick Neuheisel in tow, our football program finally doesn't suck. And, of course, Ben Howland is a pimp in basketball. All is right in the UCLA athletic world.

The only question is...why did it take so friggin' long? We are in Los Angeles, aren't we? oy.

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