ELOQUENCE HAS A THOUSAND FORMS
There’s many, many ways to express how you feel in an eloquent way. You could be a master of the epigram, like Rochefoucauld, for example:
Men give away nothing so liberally as their advice.
Pithy! Or you could just have an awesome accent and a deep, deep hatred of Tennessee. That’s a form of eloquence too, as this video points out all too well.
“They low down, they dirty, and they snitches.” At no point have our own thoughts of Tennessee football or pumpkins been so succinctly put.
1
“It’s that puke-inside-of-a-pumpkin orange.”
Bonus Points for imagery! And I agree with each point this enlightened gentleman makes.
Comment by decemberist — March 5, 2025 @ 2:03 pm
2
As a graduate of Alabama - I love that we’re not “sore losers.”
Comment by Erica — March 5, 2025 @ 2:04 pm
3
Excelsior.
Comment by Chris — March 5, 2025 @ 2:06 pm
4
he’d get my vote.
Comment by kleph — March 5, 2025 @ 2:15 pm
5
Ladies and gentlemen…Charles Barkley’s running mate in 2014.
Comment by VandyJ — March 5, 2025 @ 2:17 pm
6
“I’m not a dog person.”
Coincidentally, That Dog doesn’t care for him either.
Comment by Holly — March 5, 2025 @ 2:17 pm
7
and, sadly, neither does it hunt.
Comment by kleph — March 5, 2025 @ 2:18 pm
8
Call me a simpleton, but I hate Alabama because they’re just dumb. I’m also not an “elephant person”, and Bama’s crimson jerseys look like employed tampons. So take that!
Also, this is eloquence in its finest form.
Comment by Aerobab — March 5, 2025 @ 2:22 pm
9
I will say this-my all-time favorite trash talk was delivered to my Daddy by a drunken, stumbling Bama alum in Tuscaloosa when I was about 16. He staggered up, poked a finger at his orange attire, and uttered (slurring implied):
“Ya know what ah lahk about that therrre shhhhirt? [uncomfortable pause] Yew kin wear it t’the game on Sat’dy…yew kin wear it t’go deeeerhuntin’ on Sundy….and yew can leave it on for work on Mondy, when yer pickin’ up trash on the highway.”
Comment by Holly — March 5, 2025 @ 2:34 pm
10
#8 - Sorry about that. My Dad gets a little tipsy on game days. You have to admit, the man has a way with words.
Comment by Bama93 — March 5, 2025 @ 2:53 pm
11
Holly,
That wasn’t trash talk. That was a statement of fact.
Comment by BamaTaxMan — March 5, 2025 @ 2:55 pm
12
RE #10
Silly me, I forgot that enclosing things in brackets doesn’t print.
The end of post #10 was the following enclosed in brackets.
grin, duck, run
Comment by BamaTaxMan — March 5, 2025 @ 2:57 pm
13
P.S. And then my Daddy bought the guy’s land and sold it to condo developers, the end.
/hair toss
Comment by Holly — March 5, 2025 @ 2:58 pm
14
i agree with this young man, why would you want puke orange as a color? is it for when you get so drunk at the game and don’t quite make it to a stall because of the long bathroom lines? nobody will notice right? as long as you have some deodorant to hide that stomach acid smell.
Comment by SEC! SEC! SEC! — March 5, 2025 @ 3:13 pm
15
Alabama: Learning is Good.
Wow. Just…wow.
Comment by WhiteSpeedReceiver — March 5, 2025 @ 3:19 pm
16
Holly @ 5
Thanks for the That Dog reference. Makes me smile every time.
Comment by NativeSon — March 5, 2025 @ 3:21 pm
17
just to clarify, Aerobab, you are identifying yourself as a person of lesser intelligence for disliking people of lesser intelligence. i flunked out of bama so maybe that’s why the underlying logic here escapes me.
and, holly, you left out the part where you load up the truck and move to beverly. hills, that is.
Comment by kleph — March 5, 2025 @ 3:26 pm
18
Apologies, Kleph…like most things on here, that part of the comment was intended to be tounge in cheek.
However, I’m not kidding about the elephants though…I think I’m allergic to those pachyderms.
Comment by Aerobab — March 5, 2025 @ 3:31 pm
19
There is no offseason for hatred.
Comment by Brian — March 5, 2025 @ 3:34 pm
20
I agree with everything except I also HATE Auburn
Comment by bamabill — March 5, 2025 @ 3:36 pm
21
For those pour souls like me that has YouTube blocked at work, could someone just give me the youtube link so I can use the mysafesurf.com link that someone on here showed the class last week?
Thanks m’kay,
Hassled by the Man
Comment by Out of Conference — March 5, 2025 @ 3:39 pm
22
Shit, its only March and we bout to start da hatin?
What kind of Orange is Gator Orange? Victory Orange
/fail
Comment by BurritoBrosShits — March 5, 2025 @ 3:45 pm
23
@Aerobab hey man, you do what you gotta do, i was just trying to make sure i understood what you were trying to say.
but yeah, tennessee is well known for it’s historic dislike of elephants.
Comment by kleph — March 5, 2025 @ 3:45 pm
24
That’s awesome on so many levels. He has to be my new hero. ” I dislike Auburn… I hate Tennessee.”
I can’t wait for the Third (I mean Fourth Saturday in October. It’s better than Christmas, Easter, and St. Patrick’s Day rolled into one.
If memory serves didn’t “That Dog” bite or bite at an Alabama player last time the game was at Neyland? “Sic’ em Smokie!”(That yell along with two bits ending with “stand up and howl” still crack me up)
Comment by Picture Me Rollin — March 5, 2025 @ 3:48 pm
25
I hate Tennessee because its not fun to beat them anymore. Also its hard to spell when drunk.
Comment by BurritoBrosShits — March 5, 2025 @ 3:51 pm
26
That Dog bit an Auburn player during the Iron Bowl
Comment by robert — March 5, 2025 @ 3:54 pm
27
…and that made my day.
Comment by robert — March 5, 2025 @ 3:54 pm
28
Here is a link to Orson’s “coverage” of the event:
https://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2006/10/26/smokey-does-your-dog-bite/
Powers getting bit is just another example of Auburn trying to be like Alabama. It’s OK Little Brother. You be you.
(Yes I know, Alabama lost to ULM, is the new Thug U, and has lost six in a row to Auburn)
Comment by Picture Me Rollin — March 5, 2025 @ 3:59 pm
29
Does the old guy walking by in the background qualify this post for mustache Wednesday (mofos)?
Comment by Ltrain — March 5, 2025 @ 4:15 pm
30
truer words have never been spoken
Comment by TheDeuce — March 5, 2025 @ 4:17 pm
31
If only he would have added, “Dayum, that Fulmer is fat” after a few of those “I hate Tennessee’s”, and then it would have been perfect.
Comment by Brian O'Blivion — March 5, 2025 @ 4:37 pm
32
A reference to Tee Martin and Wayne D. Rowe would have also been nice.
Comment by Tater Salad — March 5, 2025 @ 4:46 pm
33
That was one Krispy Kreme reference short of perfection.
Comment by Because They Can — March 5, 2025 @ 5:13 pm
34
..and “garbage truck worker convention” will forever remain on my list of descriptive phrases re: Neyland.
Comment by Because They Can — March 5, 2025 @ 5:19 pm
35
/tingles
so many bama fans around now…
/glee
RTR
Comment by burt77 — March 5, 2025 @ 5:32 pm
36
#13, we upgraded to a double-wide with that money, so jokes on you, Holly.
Comment by Herb — March 5, 2025 @ 5:33 pm
37
32-
Funny how they always forget about that when they call us cheaters, isn’t it?
Comment by Sad State of Affairs — March 5, 2025 @ 6:56 pm
38
I have hated on Tennessseeeee evera since that song
“Tennessee” by Arrested Developement….. (”A pair of horseshoes. A pair of HORSESHOES!!!”)
If Alabama is the new Thug U, what does that make Tenn? The Original Thug U? or is that Miami?
Tennessee is the Ohio St. of the SEC…..enough talent to win some games and get to some decent games, but always finds a way to choke their way out of a win…..which is the way I picture Phil Fulmer going to the big Krispy Kreme in the sky, via choking on his food…..or exploding while in a speed eating contest with Mangino
Comment by Mr Pelican Pants — March 5, 2025 @ 7:36 pm
39
If there is a God in heaven, this needs to be on the JumboTron for pregame.
Comment by dixiehack — March 5, 2025 @ 11:45 pm
40
I think my favorite thing about this is that when he raises up his hands while discussing his feelings on orange, you can see that he’s reading (or at least holding) Ellison’s The Invisible Man. Somehow this speech and that book just go together.
Comment by ChrisL — March 6, 2025 @ 1:35 am
41
Auburn fans everywhere are crying that someone should come between them and their dearly behated Alabama
Comment by Futbawl Fan — March 6, 2025 @ 8:06 am
42
As a central Florida native, I hate Tennessee for all the times I had to deal with the fans in Orlando. All that orange made me nauseous. On the flip side, that meant UT was in the Citrus bowl. 6 of one, half a dozen of the other.
Comment by Scalz1 — March 6, 2025 @ 8:11 am
43
“…and I don’t like pumpkins”
beautiful.
Comment by chad — March 6, 2025 @ 8:37 am
44
The free associations are fantastic. I’m not a dog person…I don’t like pumpkins….
Even walking out of the frame he continued to tell, I guess, his friends how serious he is.
Comment by OhioDawg — March 6, 2025 @ 9:01 am
45
I agree, Couldn’t have said it better
Comment by slammer — March 6, 2025 @ 9:50 am
46
#24 and #26
“That dog” was UGA and it jumped at an Auburn player during an Auburn Georgia game
Comment by cclints24 — March 6, 2025 @ 11:44 am
47
#46
You’re right. But it happened again last season at an Alabama away game (Auburn, I think). Difference: the dog actually connected and drew blood. The player was OK…so it was quite funny.
Comment by TideOneON — March 6, 2025 @ 12:12 pm
48
The Vol fans uniformly believe Saban would leave Alabama for Samford if they offered him $1 more than his current contract. At least that’s what they told me while taking turns throwing rocks and taking pictures of the tree people when they were in Berkeley. Coolest thing about there visit was everyone could see Alcatraz through the fog that weekend due to that God-awful orange they wear from head to toe.
Comment by OaklandBear — March 6, 2025 @ 12:18 pm
49
“I have hated on Tennessseeeee evera since that song
“Tennessee” by Arrested Developement….. (”A pair of horseshoes. A pair of HORSESHOES!!!”)”
I believe it’s “Headliner, I challenge you to a game of Horseshoes.” A game of HORSEHOES!”
Comment by MiseanAuFan — March 6, 2025 @ 12:19 pm
50
Everyone hates a winner… but damn that is one funny video!!!
Comment by Justin — March 6, 2025 @ 4:05 pm
51
Envy is a sad thing. And guess what Bama fan, we will put your ass back on probation if you don’t watch it just like the last time. Go back to your hole and hide.
Comment by TennGuy — March 7, 2025 @ 10:29 am
52
I think he just wrote my wedding vow.
Comment by This Guy — March 7, 2025 @ 12:43 pm
53
This dude is a retard! Neyland is holier than the Vatican, not a garbage truck worker convention! He was hilarious, though. He ain’t no dog person, and he don’t like pumpkins! LOL what a shithead. Alabama sucks ass! GO VOLS
Comment by Your Mom — March 7, 2025 @ 2:52 pm
54
“…and de some snitches…”
that was great….I hate Georgia, I’ll just go on record with that.
Comment by Bitches — March 7, 2025 @ 7:43 pm
55
I see we have some bitch ass Tennesseans in this place. University of Texas wannabe mofos
Comment by cease — March 10, 2025 @ 5:42 pm