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Dana Holgorsen's Appearance at Big XII Media Day

Though no longer coaching West Virginia, America's most sovereign coach, Dana Holgorsen, stopped by Big XII Media Day to argue that West Virginia was last year's actual National Champion.
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Hi everyone, I just have a minute, but when you consider the facts of the 2018 season, we were the actual National Champs last year. We finished the year with 4 losses, but none of those should count.

Bowl games are like taxes, and as a sovereign football team, they aren't real, we don't have to play them, and you can't count them as a loss. Syracuse isn't a Big XII team, so we weren't under any obligation to acknowledge the Camping World Bowl as a real game. So that's 3 losses.

The rest of our losses were to state schools, making them representatives of governments that don't have any authority over us West Virginians. See, Oklahoma is a state school, making them representatives of a different state "invading" West Virginia. That makes their 2 fumble recoveries for touchdowns unjust thefts by an illegitimate government. Civil Asset Forfeiture is a blatant violation of our rights, so those fumbles just didn't happen, and it should have stayed our ball. That's 14 fewer points, and we only lost by 3 so that loss also doesn't count. That brings us to 2 losses.

Our first loss was when we travelled to Iowa to play Iowa State. Iowa State's defense completely shut us down. We scored one offensive touchdown the whole game. But we played that game in Iowa, and their laws don't apply because we only acknowledge West Virginia. I kept asking Matt Campbell if the offense was being detained, but he didn't let us go. He also didn't show me a warrant, so that's false imprisonment. They blatantly disregarded the law, and detained Will Grier illegally, so you can't count that loss either. Now we only have 1 loss.

Finally, the Big XII handbook section 1.5.1 specifies that the conference follows the General Corporation Law of Delaware. However, West Virginia University is not a corporation, nor is it subject to the laws of Delaware. That already undermines the conference's power. Additionally, since the U.S. stopped using the gold standard, the dollar is no longer has any meaningful value, and can't be used to settle debts. Since the Big 12 Conference insists on paying West Virginia University in dollars instead of gold, they've broken the contract and we don't need to follow it. The Conference is illegitimate, and thus we were illegally forced into playing our conference games every year. Some of these we consent to as a part of the schedule, but since we were coerced into traveling to play Oklahoma State. We would never have gone to Stillwater to play that game otherwise. Thus that loss should also be disregarded.

When our rights are taken into account, the Mountaineers were undefeated this season, and since we were wrongly denied an opportunity to play in the College Football Playoff, which is another organization whose authority we never consented to, West Virginia was the national champion this year.

Anyway, I gotta go, the Feds are looking for me and Houston agreed to pay me in gold coins.

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