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SHUTDOWN FULLCAST: BOSS BABY NICK SABAN

ALSO: RYAN WRITES A PSYCHIC SUMMARY OF THE EPISODE WITH STARTLING ACCURACY

NCAA Football: Louisville at Alabama
WAAAAAAAHHHH I WON BY THIRTY-SEVEN POINTS
Jasen Vinlove-USA TODAY Sports

The Fullcast review of week one is up so CONSUME, but also be amazed at how accurate Ryan can be about an episode’s content without even listening to it once.

I, Ryan Nanni, write the descriptions for these episodes, but I was not available for this one, so I’m going to guess that Jason, Spencer, and Holly talked about:

Scott Frost Day, on which Nebraska allowed no points and, shoot, no yards BLACKSHIRTS BACK

Texas’s commitment to making the Big Ten a deeper conference before the Longhorns themselves join the Big Ten

Maybe some earnest talk about Washington-Auburn, idk

Spencer fawning over Ole Miss

Considerably too much talk about...Hawaii, maybe? Let’s say Hawaii

Minimal talk about West Virginia-Tennessee because fear

Pondering Miami fans dressed up like Canes Iron Giant or whatever going back to their hotel in full costume just totally bummed

This...this is pretty much exactly what we talked about, minus the Texas bit? Not to say that Texas isn’t building up the Big Ten before joining, because that is precisely what a wily oil baron would do before acquiring a property, but still.

The accuracy here is enough to terrify us into thinking that Ryan may very well be a sorcerer. A very distractable, sometimes discouraged sorcerer at times with powers he didn’t ask for or can’t control, but still a sorcerer.