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RPOS ARE NOT THE TRUE COMMUNISM

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A GUEST EDITORIAL BY LEON TROTSKY

It has come to my notice that several American football coaches have discussed Communism this week.

This may be a surprise to many who assume that being dead should serve as some serious barrier to experiencing anything. It would seem to be an especially formidable obstacle to enjoying sport, which relies so much on the power of the proletariat to unite and move towards a common objective.

To my surprise, being dead has only improved my enjoyment and understanding of many sports, especially that of American football. It has been especially helpful in understanding Michigan State football, a team whose play to the dead mind evokes the endless, haunting, but beautiful silence of the void perfectly. They have many, many fans and friends here.

I believe myself to be in a unique situation of being triply qualified to address this situation. I am, yes, dedicated to what is referred to here as Communism. I am an American football fan. I am both dead enough inside to be aware of UConn and Northwestern football, and yet still restlessly curious about the world of the living proletariat.

Many may wish me to refute these claims. They will find disappointment here, for my judgment is that both of these running dogs of the militant overclass are indeed half-correct.

The Run-Pass Option is a type of communism. It is forced upon the field, and only gives the illusion of options for the playing proletariat in that the ball must be sent here, there, or elsewhere based on what is seen and decided ahead of time by the leadership cadre. It is a form of distribution, but one assigned, prescribed, dictated.

The RPO is an incomplete revolution, one that will never generate change for the people. The type of communism that results from this is terrible! The workers don’t get paid, the ruling managerial class receive exorbitant gifts and luxuries, and the entire system revolves around codifying and protecting this way of doing things. Would never happen in America. Nope, and especially not with the cooperation of a university.

The true revolution? That would be for the players to determine their own fate, seize the means of on-field production, and bring about the change themselves without waiting. A Run-Pass Option is no option when it is deigned from above by hands that no know toil, and do not feel the rush of the wind themselves rushing downfield to a goal. If the revolution is to come it must come from below like a foundation; Only then can a great skyscraper touch the sky and show the people the freedom of blue skies obscured for so long by the clouds of toil.

Lenin once said: “When one makes a Revolution, one cannot mark time; one must always go forward.” These words are prophetic in football, because I believe the revolution must also go forward. Twice, if need be.

THE REVOLUTION BEGAN IN LUBBOCK THIS WEEKEND, COMRADE!!! The rules prohibit this, but revolution has never been permitted. It is instead simply taken by hands too impatient to wait anymore.

Also Houston’s already wearing red! This really works on a lot of levels if Leon’s being honest here. And I am, because I’m dead. Like, really, really super dead, the kind you can only be when a beefy, ham-fed boy from Catalonia puts an ice axe into your head.

Again, Michigan State football works for me for so many reasons.