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SHUTDOWN FULLCAST: EVERY SEC WEST TEAM PREVIEWED AT ONCE

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IT’S NOT AS CONFUSING AS IT SOUNDS WE SWEAR

Mississippi v Auburn
HI, YOU MIGHT REMEMBER ME FROM MY ROLE AS “RYAN’S FAMILY STEAKHOUSE MANAGER #2”
Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE: Tickets are still available for the first Shutdown Fullcast LIVE in beautiful Atlanta, Georgia on Friday, August 31st. We promise that if you come, we will not let Ryan do a single second of a Jeff Goldblum impression, nor stop you from harming him if he does.

Also: BOOZE AND PARKING, aka the two cornerstones of any Atlanta-based production, will be available. Y’all come on out and see podcast faces with voices suited for the internet talking live about your favorite college football team!*

*Pitt. We mean everyone’s favorite college football team, the Pitt Panthers.

This week’s Fullcast ups the ante on previous disastrous Fullcast previews by giving you not one, not two, but seven different team-themed podcasts to properly sum up the state of God’s Conference, the mighty SEC West. This actually works a lot better than the single team previews did? For some inexplicable reason it does.

By team and in order:

  • OzarkHam Asylum, the Internet’s only Arkansas football podcast, celebrates the Hawgs’ glorious return to their Big 12 roots. (AKA “Yeah let’s give up on defense and just see who gets the ball last.”)
  • Sharks and Rec, the Internet’s only Ole Miss football podcast, defends Tony the Shark, rants large about the glories of Matt Luke’s big, lummoxy head, and promises you that a year spent with this Ole Miss team will be entertaining and ultimately drive you to the point of madness. Yes, yeah, absolutely, just the whole standard Ole Miss drill here, really.
  • Tigah Tigah Burning Bright, the Internet’s only LSU football podcast. Contains surprisingly deft and moving poetry written by Ed Orgeron?
  • Dog Save America, the Internet’s only Texas A&M football podcast. Mostly a review of other mascots and everyone yelling at Spencer for daring to make any declarative statements about Reveille at all.
  • Comedy Clang Clang, the Internet’s only Mississippi State football podcast, introduces you to the greatest way to play the card game War ever: Using legendary Mississippi State football players as the cards. (Hint: Never take a mystery card once you’ve got a Fred Smoot in your hand!)
  • Aubible.com, the Internet’s only Auburn football podcast, is our sponsor this week
  • And a Bama podcast, which you’ll just have to listen all the way through to find out what we did there!