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JIMBO FISHER WANTS A HORSE IN HIS OFFICE

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ALSO: WAS KEVIN SUMLIN AN UNDERCOVER HOT WEATHER GOTH?

NCAA Football: Texas A&M-Jimbo Fisher Press Conference
THESE BOOTS ARE TOUGHER AND MORE PHYSICAL THAN LAST YEAR’S BOOTS
C. Morgan Engel-USA TODAY Sports

When a team switches coaches there are a few things that, without fail, always happen. Practices under the previous administration were nothing more than lollygaggin’ hooferalls, and under new management will be “tougher” and “more competitive”. Whatever happened before was not physical. There will be no metaphorical or spiritual practices, but only physical ones.

“We’re getting more physical every day,” said Fisher, whose first spring drills at A&M wrap up with the annual Maroon & White game on April 14 at Kyle Field.

Was there music? Well there’s news there, too.

“How in the heck can they hear when you coach them?” Fisher said after Monday’s practice session. “I’m trying to coach them at the same time. Are they going to listen to the song or are they going to listen to me?”

Was the previous team not trying to recruit them all? Well that was dumb, which is probably why they got fired.:

“We’re going to get everyone we can.”

It’s like other teams don’t even try these things! Thankfully, by doing the opposite of everything his predecessor did, Jimbo Fisher will be infinitely more successful than Kevin Sumlin. This, riding a horse in public frequently, and Fisher getting more guaranteed money than anyone else in the history of college football surely means he will do better than someone who had a higher winning percentage than Jackie Sherrill or Bear Bryant’s in College Station. It’s just science at this point.

All of this is pretty standard, but Jimbo Fisher remains one of college football’s restless innovators. This week, he became the first college football coach we can remember who put “redecoratin’” as an offseason to-do item.

Maybe you like sittin’ in Kevin Sumlin’s Champagne Room, but Jimbo ain’t gonna have it.

“It’s like a damn nightclub in here,” Fisher told the magazine, which is on newsstands now. “This ain’t gonna be my office.”

“Nightclub” wasn’t the first word that came to mind, to be honest. If we’re talking black walls and carpet, it feels more like “Goth club.” This begs the question: Is Sumlin a secret Hot Weather Goth? If so, we respect him more now, because few lifestyles require more commitment than being a Hot Weather Goth. (Tucson contacts, please put a BOLO out for your football coach in a sleeveless mesh shirt, black leather pants, and black leather combat boots.)

P.S. Dear Jimbo PUT A STABLE INSIDE YOUR OFFICE AND KEEP A HORSE IN IT. DO IT AND BECOME THE MOST AGGIE AGGIE EVER.