LET’S GET THESE JOKES OFF WHILE WE CAN BECAUSE IT’S WHAT SPURRIER WOULD DO:
Your pastor told you about messing around with just the tip, son.
Weird, an Auburn contest ended with a 3-2 score.
Nine turned a two into a three. That’s Opelika math for you there.
Maybe he thought Ricardo Louis was running at a full sprint behind the fence and waiting to catch it for a TD.
Slapping at balls haphazardly is what happens when your state abandons sex education.
“Florida Man rides Tiger to Omaha” is a really great Florida Man headline, though.
Not the first time a run’s gone the wrong way for Auburn in a big moment.
Getting eliminated on a trip to Florida really is a family thing, Auburn. A very particular kind of family, but still.
Note: Most of the time an Auburn man gets beaten by leather on a trip to Florida it happens in Tampa.
It’s advice that works on so many levels, Auburn, but we’ll repeat it here: When you’re headed to Florida, stay inside the park if you can.
Most of the time an Auburn man makes a mistake in a field it only destroys a tractor.
Well, it makes sense. Wearing a glove is the only way to avoid catching something on a Florida vacation.
Earlier in this game, Florida stole home. They accomplished this by having a runner on first intentionally fall as a distraction, and then sending the runner on third hard to the plate for a run. This is not a joke, but it sure feels like one.
It’ll be a sad sight watching everyone in Auburn wear their Oakleys at half-mast today.
No, it’s not sad that the only shit-talking we can do now is about baseball, WE HAVE A STRONG, DIVERSE PORTFOLIO OF COLLEGE SPORTS TEAMS AT FLORIDA, THAT’S ALL.
GODDAMN YOU WES BYRUM
P.S. Go Gators.