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SHUTDOWN FULLCAST 8.16: ALL THE FOOTBALL QUESTIONS YOU WANTED TO KNOW BUT WERE TOO AFRAID TO ASK

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NO, FOOTBALL AS WE KNOW IT DID NOT EXIST BEFORE 1968

THE GAWD RON CHERRY PREPARES YOU FOR THE WEIRD

This week we asked to submit college football questions they always wanted to know the answers to, but were afraid to ask for fear of being embarrassed. They did not disappoint, and the questions were actually great. Why? Most likely because the Fullcast is embarrassing enough all by itself, and therefore readers could feel no shame in asking people clearly born without shame.

Topics covered include:

  • What parts of college football history actually matter, and why do they include nothing before 1968?
  • What is the triple option? And can Spencer explain it without screwing up simple math?
  • What is a one-point conversion? And can Spencer explain it without screwing up simple math?
  • Why are Michigan Men (and women) the way that they are?
  • Why all refs are basically the same unless we’re talking about the Pac-12, in which case every stereotype about them being poorly programmed NPCs in a terrible video game is truer than you can possibly know?
  • Star Trek? For some reason we talk about Star Trek?
  • Spencer unveils the worst accent in the history of the show
  • No really it is just the goddamn worst and is so bad he doesn’t do it again after everyone asks him to stop