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SHUTDOWN FULLCAST: WE FIX COACHING SALARIES

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MAKE THE IRON BOWL COUNT FOR TAX PURPOSES

Alabama v Auburn
IF WE DID THINGS OUR WAY THIS WOULD BE A ROLL OF DOLLAR BILLS THAT GUS MALZAHN JUST WON FOR BEATING ALABAMA
Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

At least half of FBS coaches made $1 million or more last season, and there doesn’t seem to be any workable, smart way to keep those salaries from continuing to balloon. Fortunately, we have several dumb and bad ways to offer instead, as well as timely opinions on:

  • Shrek
  • Football in the northeast
  • Improving a mediocre football team
  • Rap beefs and how white dads should not be your source for information on them
  • The first down chain
  • One pot meals
  • Star Wars, yet again