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WHAT TEAM IS THIS SQUIRREL THINKING OF

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A GAME OF TWENTY QUESTIONS BECAUSE SCREW YOU, IT’S MAY

[wanders into backyard, looking for content]

Boy, it is tough to know what to write about on a college football blog this time of year. Maybe I’ll find some inspiration out here, in my yard.

Oh, hello there, little fella!

How are you today? Well that’s great, I’m doing well too, thanks for asking.

Concerned? Oh, if I look concerned, it’s just because I’m struggling to come up with college football-related content.

What’s that you say? You’re thinking of a specific college football team and year, and you think I should talk about them? That’s great, which one?

Oh, you want me to guess? You want me to play 20 Questions?

Well, it’s highly unusual, but I suppose I’ll humor you, anthropomorphized backyard squirrel who’s thinking of a particular year of a college football program. Let’s do this.

Is this team currently in what’s considered the “Power 5” conferences (ACC, Big Ten, Big 12, SEC, Pac-12)?

Has this program won a national title in the last 30 years?

Did the program finish the 2017 season ranked in major polls?

Did the program make a bowl game in the 2017 season?

Did they win that game?

Okay, I think we’re narrowing things down.

Does this team have an animal for its primary mascot?

Has this program been in their current conference for more than 10 years?

Has this program won a bowl game in the last 10 years?

Did the team make a coaching change after the 2017 season?

Okay, I think I’ve narrowed down the program. Now let’s try and figure out what team year we’re talking about.

Does that sound good?

Wait, did that count against my questions?

Did I just waste two questions, and now an additional one by asking this?

Geez. Alright, gonna have to focus here.

Okay, the year in question, did they make a bowl game?

Did they win that bowl game?

Despite that loss, did they finish the season in question ranked?

Was the bowl game that year played in the state of California?

Did you see that whole “Yanny or Laurel” video?

I heard Yanny. Did you?

Dang, that’s wild.

Oh shit, I just wasted two more questions, didn’t I?

Okay, 20th question: was this during the BCS era?

Okay. Okay, you know what, it was down to the wire, but I think I figured it out. I’ve really enjoyed our conversation today, weirdly-interested-in-human-amateur-sports squirrel, and I’m confident that I know what particular college football team you’re talking about.

The only question is...

... do our readers?