EDSBS CHARITY BOWL FINAL: NIIIIIIIIIIICE

Y’all did it. You incredible people not only broke our existing fundraising record for a week by what we’ll call “a metric heck-ton of cash”. No, one of you, at the bell, donated enough cash to make the total contain not one, not two, but three different instances of THE SEX NUMBER. It’s the generosity not just on the financial, but also on the spiritual level that really moves us here.

The total has since crept north of there, but we’ll consider that the final for 2018, because no final total will ever be more perfect. Next year, we will have to either raise this exact amount, or that same total with a one or a two in front of it. Now that we’ve done it once, we’ll have to just keep doing it nicer and more nicely from this point forward.

The payoff to this challenge, as promised: Another tattoo, this time going to the team that raised the most money in the fourth quarter, so to speak. From Friday to Sunday, the team with the highest combined total was—duhhhhh—Michigan. This means we have to get some variation of the M, or a Wolverine, or god knows what else on our bodies. We have some initial ideas already, and promise a faster payoff than last time.

Btw, you can’t win on the internet because a.) flex, and people will make fun of you for flexing, and b.) don’t flex, and people will say your shoulder looks like an uncured ham. Our shoulders do look like uncured hams, though. Fortunately for us, uncured hams make for an excellent tattooing canvas, and people have next to zero expectations of a blogger, body-wise. We will take back the male form

Combine the next variation on a Michigan theme with the buffalo we want to get on our back, and we will be walking around with a very ornery zoo etched onto our flesh.

The words “Thank you” can’t really go far enough, but we’ll try to stretch them to cover the gap between what we feel, and what you’ve accomplished through charity. It means an especially huge amount in a year when the entire concept of refugee resettlement in the United States is threatened by xenophobia and outright hatred. We have hope for a lot of reasons that this is temporary—that the people committed to keeping this country as a place of refuge for those seeking a home and opportunity will convince everyone on the fence that this, in so many ways, is a worthy cause.

We already had a lot of reasons. But it’s something to be able to quantify them and feel good about at least sixty-nine thousand of them. The word is...man, we don’t want to do this, but we have to, don’t we? It’s nice, reader. It’s simply a nice thing to behold, and something that might help you, in your own little way, get through the darker days sure to come before this is all over.

Thank you.

Final totals follow, listed by school/total number of individual donations/total donated

University of Michigan 217 $21,973.02

Georgia Institute of Technology 43 $13,121.83

University of Georgia 25 $6,197.10

Louisiana Tech University 2 $2,322.82

Texas A & M 10 $2,118.67

University of Florida 33 $1,894.46

Kansas State 8 $1,545.78

Auburn University 12 $1,490.33

University of Texas 14 $1,485.03

Clemson University 10 $1,395.53

Ohio State University 14 $1,203.02

Ohio State-Marion 1 $1,100.00

Missouri University of Science and Technology 1 $1,100.00

University of Wisconsin 15 $1,027.76

Wayne State University 2 $1,025.00

University of Virginia 7 $948.00

University of Alabama 10 $940.48

University of Chicago 1 $935.00

University of Southern California 5 $906.86

Wake Forest University 4 $744.84

Florida State University 9 $726.27

Penn State University 11 $712.61

Virginia Tech 11 $711.76

University of Oregon 6 $696.60

Northwestern University 6 $577.31

Washington State University - Wazzu 3 $563.57

Cornell 2 $550.00

University of Washington 7 $521.81

Case Western Reserve 1 $479.00

Notre Dame 11 $475.67

University of Missouri - Mizzou 5 $435.59

Kalamazoo College 1 $400.00

University of Maryland 3 $388.33

University of Iowa 7 $381.44

University of Tennessee 6 $378.51

Mississippi State 4 $353.39

Kenyon College 2 $349.21

University of South Carolina 5 $343.28

University of Kentucky 8 $335.08

Vanderbilt 3 $334.48

University of Oklahoma 3 $312.52

University of Tulsa 1 $310.97

Purdue 6 $306.38

University of California Berkeley 5 $293.14

University of St. Thomas 2 $289.73

University of Miami (FL) 6 $277.61

Washington University in St. Louis 2 $277.20

Syracuse University 10 $272.36

University of Alabama Birmingham 1 $255.42

University of Memphis 5 $250.00

Loyola Marymount 1 $250.00

University of Nebraska - Lincoln 4 $243.46

University of Pittsburgh 7 $237.88

University of Arkansas 5 $236.48

Baylor University 4 $236.39

Santa Clara University 1 $232.43

University of Utah 4 $227.78

Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health 1 $220.00

Tulane University 2 $219.78

Hillsdale College 1 $214.28

University of Chicago 1 $213.07

West Virginia University 2 $210.00

North Carolina State University 3 $205.42

University of Southern North Dakota at Hoople 1 $200.00

Ohio University 4 $197.46

University of Mississippi - Ole Miss 3 $192.39

University of Colorado Boulder 3 $189.94

University of Minnesota 1 $189.14

Duke University 2 $186.26

Villanova University 2 $180.57

Texas Christian University - TCU 4 $152.47

Kennesaw State 2 $152.28

Dartmouth 1 $143.70

Michigan State 3 $143.57

Stanford 2 $124.97

University of Cincinnati 3 $120.44

Wales Rugby 1 $117.45

Boston College 3 $112.47

Montana State University 3 $112.46

Rice University 1 $111.00

Oregon State University 1 $110.00

University of California Los Angeles - UCLA 3 $109.16

University of Tennessee at Chattanooga 1 $100.00

University of Arizona 1 $100.00

Skidmore College 1 $100.00

Lehigh University 1 $100.00

Iowa State University 1 $100.00

Dexter High School Dreadnaughts 3 $100.00

Columbia University 1 $100.00

University of North Texas 1 $98.67

Princeton 2 $91.51

University of Louisville 2 $90.25

Grand Valley State University 2 $86.31

University of Connecticut 2 $83.30

St. Helens RLFC 1 $75.00

Louisiana State University 2 $75.00

Indiana University 2 $72.27

Western Michigan University 1 $71.68

University of The South 2 $68.99

Miami University (Ohio) 1 $66.06

University of Puget Sound 1 $64.68

Washington & Lee 1 $63.30

University of Central Florida 2 $63.00

Boise State 1 $59.52

University of Louisiana Monroe 1 $58.20

Central Michigan University 2 $51.48

Xavier University 2 $50.00

University of Maine 1 $50.00

University of California, Irvine 1 $50.00

University of California San Diego - UCSD 1 $50.00

Southern Methodist University 1 $50.00

Dickinson College 1 $50.00

California Institute of Technology 1 $50.00

Berry College 1 $48.10

Arizona State University 2 $46.99

New Mexico State 2 $45.80

Fordham University 1 $44.22

Fort Hays State University 1 $41.07

University of Hawai’i 1 $39.00

University of Pennsylvania 1 $38.35

Oklahoma State 1 $38.28

University of Houston 1 $38.03

Make Spencer Eat Cheese U 2 $35.04

Northwest Missouri State University 1 $34.16

Greenville Humane Society 1 $34.10

University of South Alabama 1 $33.21

Simon Fraser University 1 $33.00

Humboldt Broncos 2 $31.00

University of Califonia (no location) 1 $29.80

University of Alaska Anchorage 1 $29.00

Cal Poly 1 $28.31

Univeristy of Illinois 1 $28.21

Emory University 1 $28.03

Temple University 1 $27.10

Texas State University 1 $27.07

Providence College 1 $25.01

University of Wisconsin - Oskosh 1 $25.00

University of Louisiana Lafayette 1 $25.00

Marist College 1 $25.00

Connecticut College 1 $25.00

Ireland Rugby 1 $24.15

University of South Florida 1 $22.22

SUNY Buffalo 1 $21.17

Georgia State University 1 $21.17

James Madison University 2 $20.65

US Coast Guard Academy 1 $20.11

Western Kentucky University 1 $20.00

Gonzaga University 1 $19.41

Albright College 1 $18.29

University of Maryland, Baltimore County - UMBC 1 $16.01

Austin Peay State University 1 $15.00

Brigham Young University 1 $14.13

San Jose State 1 $10.61

Colorado State University 1 $10.00