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What an enjoyable Super Bowl. High-flying offense, back-and-forth scoring, and a first-time Super Bowl champion! I enjoyed that.
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And wouldn’t you know it, a former player of mine won a Super Bowl ring! I’m proud of Eagles center Jason Kelce, who played under me at Cincinnati from 2008-9.
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Of course, for the first time since 1999, there were no Notre Dame players on either team in the Super Bowl. Am I not preparing players for NFL careers? Am I not recruiting well, or failing to develop well?
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No. That’s silly. It’s the players who are failing me.
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This was a delicious meal tonight, too. Although, I have to say, the guacamole didn’t turn out great. I should’ve checked the ripeness of the avocados when I bought them, but then, what store puts out a display of unripe avocados the day before the Super Bowl? That’s on you, Trader Joe’s.
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Anyways, I should probably clean up all this mess and go to bed. I mean, it’s the offseason, but the grind of being a top-tier college football coach never ends. I’ve got to be thinking about recruiting, offseason conditioning, managing my staff, and making excuses for my own future failures. Heck, there’s only a little over 200 days until we face off against Michigan in the opener, and you know Jim Harbaugh’s not taking any time off.
[Super Bowl coverage ends, and a cold open to a show begins]
I wonder what this is, though.
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[he sits back on the couch]
Well, maybe I’ll just watch for 15 minutes. It helps to keep up on what the kids like. And this seems like a nice, happy family in this show! I’m becoming invested in them personally already. Why, nothing terrible is going to-
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That Crock Pot! No-
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Get out of the house! Right now!
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Oh, god, Jack. My sweet beloved Jack, no.
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Wait! He made it out! He’s okay!
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WHY ARE YOU GOING BACK INTO THE HOUSE NO
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I can’t bear this emotional rollercoaster.
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HE MADE IT OUT AGAIN! HE’S ALIVE! EVERYTHING’S GOING TO BE OKAY!
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I get it. You yanked us around a little bit, but it all works out in the end. Just like in football. Now, they’re going to have a heartwarming reunion in the hospital, and-
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[turns TV off]
[sighs]
[opens laptop]
I wonder what they’re saying about me online right now.
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