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LET’S WATCH THE 2013 COCKTAIL PARTY

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FRIDAY AFTERNOON THEATER

It’s Friday afternoon, and we’ve been a little slow around here this week, so I figured, hey: let’s just do one of those game-watch posts! I can slap up the video of a classic game, we can reminisce about what fun it was, and think about the good times.

This weekend, College GameDay is making its triumphant return to Jacksonville for the, ahem, “Georgia-Florida Game”, or what you may know as The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party. It’s a great matchup this year, with #7 Georgia and #9 Florida in a tight race (along with surprising #12 Kentucky) for the SEC East crown.

There have been a lot of classics in this rivalry over the years, and perhaps none more personally memorable than the 2013 contest. That game was when, in a Brooklyn bar, I first met Ryan Nanni. At halftime - and I’ll never forget these sage words of sports wisdom - Ryan said, “fuck this, I’m going home to take a nap.”

Just like Disney re-releasing an old film, we’re going to unlock the EDSBS vault for exclusive game footage from this exciting, competently-played and -coached game!

[cracks open VHS clamshell, sticks tape into internet box]

Wait, that’s not the 2013 Florida-Georgia game. Did someone tape over this? Weird. Well, thankfully, we have numerous backup copies here. Let’s just pop in another one, hit play, and-

Huh. Twice, I’ve tried to watch a video of the 2013 Florida Gators football team - coached by Will Muschamp - and instead there’s been videos of bears stuck in things. Well, anyways, that’s no metaphor for anything, let’s just pop in the third tape, and-

Aww, his head is stuck in a bucket. Like a little Will Muschamp.

Anyways, this is becoming a serious problem. It’s almost like - right before getting fired - some disgruntled writer - possibly a Florida fan - taped over every copy of the 2013 Cocktail Party in the vast EDSBS Film Vault.

We’re just going to have to go to my own personal copy instead, and-

[watches in silent horror for several minutes, removes tape, throws into fireplace]

[goes to shelf, retrieves different tape, puts it in]

Look at that. He fell down hard, but he bounced. Like a little Will Muschamp.