clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

ARIZONA STATE FOOTBALL ORG CHART 2018

New, 333 comments

LET’S DO A BUSINESS

NFL: OCT 02 Redskins at Chiefs Photo by Scott Winters/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images
CONSULT NOTES FOR CLARIFICATION ON ARIZONA STATE ORG CHART

NOTES:

A) DUPLICATE HERM: Herm 2 in reserve should Herm suffer water damage or dry rot

B) FIRM HUGS: Only the firmest, delivered by the wiriest man on the planet, built without an ounce of fluff or wasted flesh on his bones honed by years of living off exactly one caesar’s salad a day

C) MANAGER, WILD HORSE PASS CASINO: Oversees operations of Chandler, Arizona’s most exciting gaming experience. Home of Cosmic Cash! and a proud partner with Shula’s Steakhouse

D) Important! All media requests must be directed to the appropriate Hermpod. Interviews taking place in an open air vehicle such as a two person kayak, horse and carriage, ski lift, golf cart, ragtop ambulance, hay ride, zip line, or window washing rig should be directed to the COOoO Hermpod. All other interview requests should be submitted to the Executive VP Hermpod UNLESS the interview pertains to Herm’s personal style, love of turf management, disdain for video games, or field goals, in which case the request should be made to the Capital Ventures Hermpod.

E) MENTION NFL A LOT: Herm Edwards played in the NFL, coached in the NFL, was a television personality focused on the NFL, has watched the NFL, enjoys online shopping for NFL merchandise, knows the location of multiple NFL teams, can draw the NFL logo very well, prefers foods with N, F, and L in the name such as “flounder” or “zinfandel” or “Cliffhanger on DVD.”

F) CRYPTO TRADER: Definitely knows what this job involves.

G) DROVE OFF IN WRONG CAR: Well, that’s a matter of perspective isn’t it? Maybe it was the wrong car according to the DMV, but if Herm’s driving it and getting where he needs to go, I’d say that makes it the rightest car. We’re not here to be trapped by old thinking like “vehicle registration” and “felonies.” We’re here to SUCCEED.