Oh god there’s actually football this week, meaning a.) we’re not ready for any of this, b.) we’ll conveniently ignore what was essentially demo football from this past weekend, and c.) boy howdy is it time for highlight videos bad they’re sublime.
This one is about Gators DL CeCe Jefferson. In the year of our lord 2017, it uses the song “Rock You Like A Hurricane” by the Scorpions to soundtrack football, a move so bold it has to be irony. There are also giant jagged edit cuts, a Jurassic Park reveal, problematic internet profanities, wildly varying video quality, and pretty much every other bit of iMovie flair straight from a 2007 era incredibad highlight video. It’s either 100% ironic or 100% sincere, and you’ll just have to decide which one for yourself, because art’s not about telling you what your experience should be.
There’s also a lot of CeCe Jefferson being unblockable and dangerously hostile to his opponent, which no presentation can really water down in terms of making you foolishly excited about a game that, by rule, Florida will probably lose. That’s how your stupid heart works: First you forget that Florida always loses to Michigan for some reason, then you forget that Florida will be breaking in a new quarterback in their first start against a Don Brown defense, and finally you land in a delusional place somewhere between “We win by a field goal” and “WE WIN BY 30 EAT IT HARBAWWW” because you got super hype off all the early era internet macros in a single occasionally problematic but very exciting video where CeCe Jefferson appears to be playing every position on the field.
P.S. We’re probably going to lose the war but definitely win the battle of delightfully terrible highlight videos
P.P.S. Playing CeCe Jefferson at every position is a very good idea, ideate on how to get that done, team
P.P.P.S. “Penetratin’” is the worst imaginable nickname we have ever heard for any football player ever
P.P.P.P.S. We found this via MGoBlog, and are happy because it confirms every horrible stereotype and truth about Florida fans ever. WE ARE TYPING THIS FROM PRISON. A NICE ONE, BECAUSE WE DID THE INSURANCE FRAUD FOR A LOT OF MONEY.