It’s Friday. Don’t lie to yourself: You have time to watch the entire coaches’ film room from the 2017 National Title Game. Why? Because you do, stop lying. That meeting isn’t important, you can cancel it, meetings are bad and only scheduled by people who don’t know how to work. That call? It’s August, it’s too hot to talk. Surgery you need to perform? You think that burst appendix is going anywhere? No it isn’t, that’s why they called you to do the surgery anyway.
Tell them to chill, you’re busy with important things like watching Dino Babers yelling out “RPO!” at every opportunity and Steve Addazio getting excited about pizza showing up on the set. Also it’s really impressive to watch the first quarter—like we just did—and figure out any logical way Clemson should have competed in this game, because goodness was Alabama pounding the ball on them with Bo Scarbrough and Jalen Hurts, and doing so with ease.