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LET’S WATCH A 330-POUND LSU RECRUIT RUN A RELAY

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THE FUTURE BELONGS TO THE LARGE SWIFT CHILDREN

MR PANCAKE IS LOOKING TO SEE WHO’S KEEPING UP THIS IS PURE DELIGHT

The most moving tradition in track and field is the throwers’ relay. If you have never seen one then your life is poorer for it; if you have, your chest just swelled with joy at the memory of watching bulky, jiggling shotputters sprint as hard as they can for the most stressful 15 seconds or so of their seasons. If you were a thrower of some sort in track and field in high school, you likely just falsely remembered doing very well in your race.

Running the anchor for Southern Lab is LSU commit Kardell Thomas. Normally a track highlight involving a recruit would be only of middling interest to this website. However: this is Kardell Thomas, who is a 330 pound offensive line recruit whose nickname at the age of 15 was “Mr. Pancake”, and who also runs the last leg of this race looking around like Usain Bolt to see if anyone is keeping up with him.

The funniest part is that someone is keeping up with him, but just barely. Thomas runs something like a 5.0 forty yard dash, making him possibly the fastest human we know of who could also eat an entire rack of ribs as an appetizer. The good news is that the future belongs to the children—the very large, very hungry, and abnormally-swift-at- any-size children.

(VIA)